"Being in the Middle" Dilemma

"Being in the Middle" Dilemma

I am not referring to the Middle East Dilemmas, though they merit attention. I am not referring to the middle boy dilemma in which the eldest son gets attention for being first and the youngest gets caring for being the youngest. The middle boy gets sandwiched between the two. Some middle boys may become introverts by the feeling of neglecting, or they find creative ways to draw attention and including some creative naughty behaviors.

We tend to do the same. We give our attention to the end poles of opposites. We highlight very hard hearts or minerals and the soft corresponding ones. The ones in the middle get obscured. We ask acidic or basic and the neutrals in between are not mentioned. We speak of crystalline materials or amorphous ones, but the ones in the middle are forgotten. We care more for solids versus liquids and rarely the ones in between (gels and liquid crystals) get little attention.

People are mineral-like in their behavior. Some people (leaders) are hard is mind and heads. Others are soft in both. Just if we look the Mohs Scale of hardness something interesting appears

"Being in the Middle" Dilemma

Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The curve increases almost linearly and then it shoots up. I wonder if leaders would exhibit similar distribution. Can we then manage the ones in the middle the same way we manage those leaders falling on the extreme? Middle management- does it fall on an inflection point and if it does shouldn't we then deal better with the Middle Management Dilemma?

Natural gels from plants such as aloe vera exhibit unique properties. Apparently gels suffer from being in the middle and try to prove their value and bring attention to them. This particular gel is unique in its broad range of uses such as treating minor burns, soothing and healing sunburns and removing itching from stings by bees.

"Being in the Middle" Dilemma

We shouldn't assume that the opposites fall on linear ends as they may fall on a curve. When On the inflection point of the curve small nudges make big differences. Verify first how opposites fall on a curve or a straight line. Know your position first before making a move and the position of people you lead as well. Small actions may be enough to move considerably those falling in the middle.

The outside or inside and which one should we consider? Well, how about the layers in between. Remember a hard egg from outside once breaks make generate terrible smells because it is rotten from the inside. Inspect the middle layers and see the great damage to them.

I wish to introduce here the concept of middle information. Very little knowledge or abundant knowledge we know about. The middle knowledge could be the real impacting one for any increase in it might lead to great benefits.

I dedicate this post to Deb Helfrich- I am in the middle not knowing for sure if she would like the buzz or sure she would like it. Thanks for placing me on an inflection point, Deb


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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#52
Change of experiences hive- thank you for your willingness to share Lada Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

5 years ago #42

#41
Thank you Ali Anani, for this suggestion. I've already thought about sharing my own experience with others who are also caught in the middle.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#50
Your insights are incredible Donna-Luisa Eversley. I like also the courage with which you express yourself. Yes, the cameras might be on the first row, but who sit in the middle may have done the laborious work and extended balance to the system.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#48
Great Lisa Gallagher- I wonder what Lisa means. If I offer my meaning then it is Easy to Adapt

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

5 years ago #39

#47
Thanks for the nudge Ali Anani, I would love to find a way to put this into story form.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#46
Knowing you Lisa Gallagher I shall not be surprised to read soon a post on this with far more elaboration

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

5 years ago #37

#45
I like that idea Ali Anani, wasp transforming into a bee! Yes, metamorphosis for sure. Great analogy!!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#44
Lisa Gallagher- I call this change of behavior "behavior transformation" or even better "Behavior Metamorphosis". Repeated behaviors become habits.Your daughter was ready for the change. You could relate to small behaviors that changed and eventually lead to the "wasp" to transform into a "bee". Is this a form of "metamorphosis in reverse"? I wonder.

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

5 years ago #35

#43
I thought of my own 2 children as well Ali Anani. My son excelled in Math and was very studious. He was more of an introvert in HS and found his wings after he became an adult. His sister on the other hand, was a Social Butterfly and didn't put a high priority on Academics- she also compared herself to her brother in a negative fashion by saying things like "He's smart, I'm stupid, as one example of many. My daughter is now the more outspoken of the two and found her place- she became a nurse. My son works for Salesforce and is content for now. I believe she always felt like the middle child but she found her wings and soared after she became a mature adult. She no longer compares herself to her brother or anyone. They have a great relationship now, which was always my wish!!!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#42
Your generosity in sharing your own examples Lisa Gallagher extends credibility to your comments and this one is no exception. Your writing " I believe if one is in the middle they may not be aware of it but they are already true leaders who just need to hone in on their positive traits" is powerful. I have met many very successful salespersons who excelled because they knew how to draw attention to what they sell. I agree.

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

5 years ago #33

You bring ideas together so eloquently Ali Anani. When I was reading this it made me think of my immediate family dynamics. I am the eldest of 5 siblings and my sister whose in the middle has always shifted between roles, IE; The comedian, the serious person, the intellect, and the helper. She's worn so many roles I often wonder if she has found her authentic self. By found, I mean is aware of- because she is a good person with a caring heart, yet at times she can come off as cold to the rest of the family. I think that was her method of survival after my dad died and dealing with many issues that are too long to post. Those in the middle often get lost or feel invisible at times, I often think? I believe if one is in the middle they may not be aware of it but they are already true leaders who just need to hone in on their positive traits. This is worthy of another blog, I really enjoyed it!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#40
In simple words I say your comment is a lesson for middle management. I am sure your experience is worthy in reporting in a dedicated post. I refer in particular to your quote " Me and my colleagues at the same level of management struggle to align the high expectations of superiors and in the same time to maintain empathy for the subordinates, which is not always easy, but with mutual efforts a balance can be achieved". Please Lada Prkic consider this idea.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

5 years ago #31

Dear Ali Anani, your each post is thought-provoking and embraces several issues. Since I'm not a person of many words, my comment will be like my personality - simple and without any philosophical approach to the subject. As a part of the middle management team I often feel like the middle boy from your post who gets sandwiched between the eldest and the youngest brother. For those who are in the middle of the social hierarchy is always the hardest. Me and my colleagues at the same level of management struggle to align the high expectations of superiors and in the same time to maintain empathy for the subordinates, which is not always easy, but with mutual efforts a balance can be achieved. I establish very good relationship with my underlings by treating them with respect, fulfilling a mentoring role as well. On the other hand, by quality dialogue with the upper management and a clear understanding of what is expected of me and my team, I've managed to avoid a noise in communication. It wasn't always like this is now, but after some changes in the top management the middle boy finally gets attention and caring.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#38
I feel the comments are the butterflies flying in my mind with their huge effect. Thank you Anees Zaidi for being so inspirational.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#34
My friend Anees Zaidi- no necklace is possible without your contributions. I think both of us are linked like atoms in diamond- very hard to break.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#33
Franci Eugenia Hoffman- you bring me joy whenever you comment. I am so happy that you find the buzz relevant because I trust your comments deeply. Thank you

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#32
having finished reading your post today I said to myself Sarah Elkins, with whom a connection is a must, will add to the depth of your comment. My real response shall come soon in a buzz.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Ali Anani, another superb buzz that keeps our minds and senses alive! Your wisdom that you share is outstanding and appreciated more than you know.

Sarah Elkins

Sarah Elkins

5 years ago #25

That's an interesting concept, Ali. My first thoughts went to our older son and his experience in school. He's smart and kind, and not at all motivated by academics. He's what I would call a medium - or mediocre - student, which is similar to where I was until I started a Master's program. Being in the middle meant he wasn't a top student and receiving special attention there, or a bottom student, receiving special attention from that end. He was lost somewhere in the middle and none of his teachers reached out to bring him from the middle... along the curve and up. My next thoughts turned to how we should be working with people in whom we see potential that may currently be somewhere in the middle, and find their strengths so they can move up that curve. How do we encourage and build leadership skills in those who haven't yet found their motivation and ambition? Finally, I started thinking about how everything moves along a spectrum, from skin color to religion, sexuality to gender identity - and very few of us are all the way on one side or the other. Though I may be somewhere in the middle of your curve in my experience as a musician, I am higher and lower on the curve in other aspects of my life. No person sits on one chart because we are complex beings. Thanks for the thoughtful article!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#29
Your pendulum settled at the center point with its wisdom dear Amroussi Mohamed. Your comments fill my soil with joy.

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #23

#28
That's wonderful dear Ali Anani! It'll be an honor, really! I mean it!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#27
Thank you Deb Helfrich tempted me to reveal it. Honored by your kind words

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#25
- It is sweetly very difficult and also to show the linkages among comments dear Qamar Ali Khan. Still, I shall try my best

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #20

#24
This is great! Pearl of Wisdom resonates your level and wisdom. There are so many great and wise friends here. It'll be a task for you to select the pearls for your book.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#23
The names you mentioned dear Qamar Ali Khan and few others to compile in an e-book the title of which would be "Pearls of Wisdom". I wish I had more time to finish it very soon. I appreciate your humility even though I view you as a mentor.

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #18

#22
Thank you very much dear Ali Anani has all the qualities to assist you. There are so many great friends there. You are surrounded by a highly intellectual race. You're lucky!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#21
I am dreaming of co-authoring a e-book with you dears Deb Helfrich. May be I compile our exchange of comments in a book. Very touch and thoughtful comments. Thank you for enriching the post with such enlightenment.

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #16

#20
Gorgeous words Deb Helfrich! You know the depth and you know how to swim there. Your perception is just outanding. Just disbalance anything, and you will see what happens. This is so simple. Isn't it ?:-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
- What you wrote Deb Helfrich said you are a unique lady. Yes, you are..

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
As you give, you receive. I received from your lovely comment exactly what you took from me. Reciprocated feelings with all honesty dear Diane Schultz

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#14
I don't think Deb Helfrich. I am also happy you find the image suitable. I much appreciate your input. It helps and guides my brother.

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #12

I also welcome your dedication of this superb post to a superb human being Deb Helfrich! She deserve it, as she represents what I got from this post.

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #11

I'm grateful Dr. Ali Anani for your kind words. I really didn't focus on the title image. It's an amzing one, showing the middle or center as the target. It speaks a lot than words.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#11
Patience to read your two comments dear Qamar Ali Khan! In fact I am still thirsty for more of your wisdom. You may have noticed that background image is a reflection of your thoughts. I didn't choose the image randomly; it was a reflection of the beauty of your writing "The entire universe is based on the principle of equilibrium and justice, the mid-area or the center. I'm not a science guy, but I know the importance of a nucleus to a cell, and the center of a nucleus to the nucleus". I extremely enjoyed your elaborative comment my brother. I would like also to thank you for sharing the buzz. One of the comments that make my heart rise up yours Qamar is.

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #9

Part-2 Another interesting thought that is evoked by your post is to think about extremes, as your beautiful graphic presentation shows. I observed some phenomena where both the end represent a milder version of a thing and all the extreme effects were found in the middle. In this case, finding the balanced way to a neutrality requires different approach, and mindset of course. Middle point, as I take it, is the most important one. The middle point usually captures or holds all the extracts of the object. In the perspective of leadership and management, the middle level has the same "central" importance. Even if the extremes are too rigid, the balanced middle management can keep the system running. If the leadership is not on it's extreme and have a moderate and rational thinking, then this balanced middle management can do wonders. If an organization has a worst middle management, it becomes a hard task for a good leadership to implement positive transformations. Thank you Dr. Ali for your patience to read these lengthy comments :-)

Qamar Ali Khan

Qamar Ali Khan

5 years ago #8

Part-1- I'm trying to catch up and keep up with your intellectual excellence Ali Anani! This post is another example of your level! I have got from my experience, study, and thinking about the vast universe that The Almighty God has created for us and the systems running in it by Him that I'm a great believer of "The center". When I talk about "the middle", it, logically, refers to the center. Center is a point where everything in something is concentrated. Middle or center surely means equilibrium and justice. The entire universe is based on the principle of equilibrium and justice, the mid-area or the center. I'm not a science guy, but I know the importance of a nucleus to a cell, and the center of a nucleus to the nucleus. When I observe the revolving of each universal object around another bigger one, it strengthens my belief on the core importance of the middle point. The middle point always refers to the balance, and the balance is the key to survive. The opposite to balance is destruction.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I feel the need to tame my expectations. I expected this buzz to generate more comments than any of my 63 buzzes. Yes, it did, but in the reverse order. The butterfly effect in action

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#7
thank you Glenn Melcher and I am glad you find the post relevant

Glenn Melcher

Glenn Melcher

5 years ago #5

Amazing insight : I am grateful to hear all that I can absorb.. Thank you all for taking the time to enlighten all of us..

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#5
Absolutely and your comment reveals the importance of not to assume as the inflection point could change with circumstances. This point is energetic and small fluxes of energy may move it considerably. Great point which enriches the post greatly.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#3
We were both thinking on the position issue Sara Sara Jacobovici and I am glad the quote is of help to you. I am not complaining, but your writing "Here's a title of a paradox post, "The Curves of Linear Progression" brings many ideas that I shall breathe on. Your reference and examples of the earth are powerful and I love what you wrote " It is the blended area, that in between place, the "layers in between", that takes a lot of work and is not as predictable". I couldn't agree more.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

5 years ago #2

You don't give me time to breathe Ali Anani. I am reading your work and thinking all the time. (I'm not complaining.) This Buzz reminds me that "middle" has gotten a bad reputation over the years. It has connotations of average, neutral, or finding yourself "falling" in the middle. For me, the middle ground is the most difficult area to navigate; being on either extreme it is clearly understood and predictable. It is the blended area, that in between place, the "layers in between", that takes a lot of work and is not as predictable. You write, "We shouldn't assume that the opposites fall on linear ends as they may fall on a curve." such an important concept when discussing polarities; the Earth is round and the "line" that is drawn between its polarities are not straight. (Here's a title of a paradox post, "The Curves of Linear Progression".) And finally, thank you for a quote for my the β€œneed to sense our position” Buzz: "Know your position first before making a move and the position of people you lead as well. Small actions may be enough to move considerably those falling in the middle."

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#1
Thank you dear Anees Zaidi for making a brilliant analogy. You may have noticed that I haven't made timely responses to the comments on my previous buzz. This was done purposefully- to take a breathing time and digest all the lovely comments before writing this one. Your comment makes me feel my breathing was worthy. Thank you

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