Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات · 2 دقائق وقت القراءة · ~10 ·

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Comments on Comments

Shery Great 7 eStats FT Value Added

Not all comments are the same. Some comments have negative impact on the author and readers with very little value added, if any. Personal attacks and the contributor of a comment might have the intention to show he/she is knowledgeable are examples of such comments. There are comments with high value added, but with little impact. Comments that are expressed in poor language and are vague to some extent may lose their impact despite their high informative values. There are comments with high impact, but with little value added. Comments offered by influential people may fall under this category. Ideally we wish to have comments with both high value and high impact and these comments lead to the emerging of new ideas, approaches, perspectives and thinking. These comments inform, educate, expand our knowledge and challenge our established thinking forms.

The problem with the degrading comments is that they dissipate the thinking of readers and tend sometimes to prove the author or commenter is wrong. Worse, when they have the aggressive tone. Previously, I couldn’t resist the temptation to respond. This is wrong. Why? Nature provides the best answer. If you were about to be attacked by a wasp don’t move for the wasp will not only attack you but will send a message to the wasp colony to attack you. Stay still and just ignore such comments. The wasp shall then leave you alone.

Positive Excessive Praise Criticism

I find exaggerated comments are sort of phony comments. The praising comments of a buzz that the commenters didn’t read is one example. There is a hidden intension in such comments. For example, the commenter expects the author to comment and share his/her buzz. It is a form of an unannounced barter deals.

Worse, if the intention of writing a praising comment to an undeserving buzz is that under the sweetness of the comment there is a poison. These comments are like bitter almonds though they have a strong scent the seeds contain the toxic cyanide. The sweet comments with the bitter results are phony.

Too much praise can be intoxicating. Too much of sweet praise may lead to diabetes. Learn to moderate your praise with some purposeful criticism. The sweet zone is where praise and criticism overlap. Too much praise has a paradoxical effect. It is like somebody adding too much sugar to your coffee when you prefer it sugarless. Similarly, we eat away the desired impact of a comment by excessive criticism without mentioning any good point. This may cause the author to lose self-confidence and can be disruptive.

Research has shown that for teams to reach their best, five or six positive interactions were needed for one criticism or negative interaction. A point that is often ignored is the order of praise: criticism. If you brush your teeth with toothpaste and you then take a glass of sweet juice the juice shall taste bitter. The bitterness of some comments may turn the impact of a praise into a bitter one. Personal attacks leave bitter taste in the mouths. Even we try later to add some sweetness it shall still taste bitter. Whenever we lose balance we create an opposite effect in the wrong direction.

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@Harvey Lloyd wrote in a comment "A writer is writing for their benefit and the reader has the choice to engage or not. I am a fan of expansion comments". This is right. Expansion comments create a chain of added values to the author and reader alike. They are the truly impacting comments with expanded value. The challenge is to offer such comments.

I am immune to comments that are of low value and desirable impact. I hope I shall find no need for this immunity.


"""
#comment #value #praise #author #impact
التعليقات

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #103

I have just published my new buzz https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/the-deep-dark-forces

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #102

#118
I have just finished drafting my buzz. Your comment encourages me to publish it sooner than I planned for.

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #101

#115
Our shadow selves is where our culture I emanates from. In our first ten years of living we assemble some pretty foundation shadow concepts. What is right and what is wrong is determined by a very few axioms we build into our shadow selves in these years. A greater question is can we change or have free will to excersise some of these axioms as we age? I subscribe to the camp that says yes. Keeping on topic here, when we communicate we are exposing these axioms from our shadow. But so is the other person. With this awareness on both sides we can be respectful. But if only one understanding the concept of axioms and there weight within conversation, then it can disrespectful very quickly. We become disrespectful and worse when we are fighting for an axiom that has created a way of life, and it is under attack. Amazingly when asked they cant repeat the axiom or shadow concept that is under attack. They have not made the connection. As a writer we have to be aware of this concept. It helps us retain our prose within responses. If an axiom is seen as under attack we can only step away within our reponses. We cant fix something like that, nor are there enough words to even introduce the topic. One way to understand if we have stepped into the domain of axioms is to see the responses turning personal. Once we leave the goal of the discussion and into the character of the writer responder we have taken on a known or unknown axiom violation.

David Navarro López

منذ 5 سنوات #100

#113
for your questions I would answer...This is the beauty of combining different points of view. Each one is biassed by a self-point of view, which itself is as well biassed by previous experience or third party opinions which we have added to our own mindset. In the end, everyone is free to allow others' point of view percolate us or not. In other, I agree there are hundreds of different approaches, due to the above mentioned. Going through all of them, searching for an ultimate truth, is in my point of view, impossible, as we can never get rid completely of our own subjective point of view. So to your question, how do we choose one of them? my answer is the one which better matches the highest human values because we can not trust our own biased mind. Therefore, I am not convinced that denying our emotional response would narrow our choices. It would help us to choose the right one. Emotions have the inception in our beliefs. And they are forged with the interactions between what we know, what we do, the reactions of what we do, and the perception of it we get back. It is us to choose from these interactions to forge our own mindset. See the Example of the lecturer of Ali Ali, in good faith, asked a question. The lecturer ended the lecture. From this point, Ali felt he was embarrassing the lecturer, which knowing how I know him, was not the intention, but to look for the truth. For both of them, this interaction can have different results, but always the chosen action will be biased by their own beliefs. And these beliefs can lead them choosing to see it from another point of view, and learn accordingly. If the lecturer believes he is the mastermind of the universe, he might not give a lecture again, or allow any comments again. And even if it is the case, he might understand he is not so great, and make a change.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #99

#114
If only if we realize that differences are the way to better understandings. I agree that respect is essential and it has many definitions. So, I suggest that it is respect + understanding. When we understand that we have different cultures and the opportunities these differences and the threats these differences offer than our respect to them will be proportional to our degree of understanding differences.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #98

#113
Harvey Lloyd- interestingly, I am drafting my buzz, which is an expanded version of some of our recent private messages, on shadow self. Yes, is very true and you have been a genuine example of "Sticking to the context of the post would tend to open this up to broader outcomes". Going to the extreme has its effects as you are well aware of. Even when we stick to the core of the subject we branch out into relevant, but interesting topics. I hope you are doing great my friend.

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #97

#113
In reviewing the words used in your discussion many words i i will point out one, respect. Respect is something that is translated into many meanings at the subtle level. Even here in America the southern definition is entirely different than the northern. BeBee is a platform that crosses many domains and this word respect is difficult to define as we look at the various cultures. As mostly a commenter i have to reconcile these differences with who’s post i am writing within. I dont always get it right. I enjoy these nuances in cultures and benefits greatly from understanding how words like respect get defined within a post. One of the keys for me when someone posts a comment expressing an opinion that may be contrary to my intent or beliefs, is to get them to expand their support for their opinion. Within the expansion i may find out we have a definition problem or i have missed a fact or misinterpreted the point they were making. My assumption is that if one expresses a contray point that they can support it intellectually and not just from the talking heads of media. I appreciate how people “feel” as we all have narratives we have attached feelings to. But if we are to be contrary then we should be able to support the thoughts intellectually. If we can support the contray position i would further assume that we are articulate enough to express it in such a way that engages and not slams the writer.

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #96

@Ali Anani it has been interesting to read the exchanges of David Navarro L\u00f3pez and yourself. If we can scrape off the extremes of the bell curve, praise at one end and extreme negativity at the other, we can examine the author/commenter engagement. Within the conversation you are having, as a third party, i can sense that each are describing an extreme while observing another third party. This brings up the point of evaluating two narritives when they meet within a post. We have the writer who has written from a narritive to accomplish something of value while a commenter is writing for the same reason. What happens when these values dont match? More importantly what do we do with these mismatched values in response? I would suggest there are at least a hundred different ways that we can approach the last question. How do we choose one of them? It appears to be one of two perspectives i see mostly. We answer from a emotional position or we answer from the original context of the post. I would suggest that the emotional response narrows our ability to see the most of the hundred different ways of responding. Sticking to the context of the post would tend to open this up to broader outcomes.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #95

#111
Please do and tag me to ensure that I see your buzz. We need to see different "wavelengths " of thinking and this what shall produce a nice rainbow. One thing I am sure of is that our approach to the topic shall be different because I am using a very simple scientific reasoning and I am using a new metaphor as well. So, it shall be great to learn from each other and compare notes.

David Navarro López

منذ 5 سنوات #94

#110
Will do. FAct is, I have recently lived some enriching situation concerned to this, and writing at the moment a post concerned to it. My only hope is not to step on/mix up with your post, as I believe both will be complementary.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #93

#109
You are a very wise man dear friend David Navarro L\u00f3pez would respond to your comment. In my next buzz you shall see what I believe is a novel approach to understand the dark forces that operate within some people and also the dark forces operating within us. You highlighted the dark forces of fear, envy, greed and the like. I plan to publish tomorrow. I look forward to your enriching comments. You are invited without any reservation.

David Navarro López

منذ 5 سنوات #92

#108
To your question "What makes people behave this way?", Firstly, I am happy that a wise man like you is planning to write on the issue. It is a matter is had me busy a lot of time, until I got an answer that suits me. But I went beyond that in two different directions. 1-What can I do so these people don't act this way with me? 2- What can I do to show them they are on the wrong path, and how helping them to overcome it? And they are two different directions, although it can seem they aren't, due to the fact that some people do not have enough value to me to make me think of helping them, just to avoid their mental trash corrupts me, and as well, because different actions are needed in each case As usual, you know me well, when there are such complex/complicated issues (LOL), I always try to get rid of ornaments and just look at the basic instincts/human values. Then things are crystal clear. Fear, inferiority complex/lack of self-confidence, envy, ambition, are the most common basic motivators. A huge world of subsequent behaviours come thereafter. To build a trustworthy relationship with the "hater" can help to avoid the point 1. To help the "hater" to overcome its wrong basic motivators can help with point 2.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #91

#107
There are two important thoughts in your comment. First- your writing "complicated and complex". This is a very interesting thought because many ideas are both complex and complicated. For example, a car ids a complicated indudsry for it involves many different parts that need to work together. Complex because of the humans work in manufacturing them are complex. We tend to divide systems to simple, complicated, complex and chaotic. In reality- they are a mix of two or more. Second- this is more relevant to our conversation here. You wrote " normally the comments are wrong because the motivation is not seeking the truth, but to put you down". This is exactly my topic for my next buzz. What makes people behave this way? This is an interesting topic and my recent exchanges in private messages with Harvey Lloyd makes this topic worthy of exploring in a greater depth.

David Navarro López

منذ 5 سنوات #90

#106
This tells me that he was wise enough to understand he was wrong. Time will tell if he is wise enough to learn of it. Another true story. Some time ago I had mistaken two concepts: complicated and complex. You pointed out the difference with a plain explanation, openly and with good intentions. I learned of it, and I am thankful for it. We are still good friends and even more after that. After the initial embarrassment of seeing your own mistake, you need to do something to amend it. No matter if a correcting comment is done with good or bad intentions, if it is right, one needs to act consequently with the new information. Of course, when there are bad intentions underneath, normally the comments are wrong because the motivation is not seeking the truth, but to put you down. Nevertheless, sometimes they are right, and to make deaf ears to it can be even worse, giving more fuel to your "hater". Making mistakes is human. Forgiving them is divine. Overcoming them is even better. And yes, Sara is lucky for many reasons. For her father, for example.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #89

#105
I shall tell you a true story. I attended a lecture form a keynote visiting professor. He invited attendees to ask questions any time during the lecture . He said that for him engagement during his talk was most welcome. He talked zealously about the research they were doing with a domesticated plant they got from a foreign country. He was describing the challenge of growing the plant in his research field. He was equally proud of the success they met in domesticating it. During his lecture he mentioned the energy needed to grow the plant and the fuel they extracted from it. He was the plant proved to be a great source of renewable energy. AT that point I signaled to him that I have a question and he invited me to ask. I mentioned my observation that the conventional energy input for growing the plant exceeded the energy output- the energy extracted from the plant. He kept silent for a while and then he said you are right. He abruptly ended his lecture. Sometimes we get invited to make comments, and with good intentions we may be revealing an information that is embarrassing to the host.

David Navarro López

منذ 5 سنوات #88

#104
If the host is quiet, I would be quiet too. I am at his house. Only if the host invites me to get into the comments I would do it, like when you make a post which awakens interesting comments, and you mention me with something like "you should read this". Then I understand that even if the host is quiet, is willing me to add some value to the conversation. Again, it is a matter of respect. What if the author has written a post with the intention of provoking a reaction and see what happens. The other day I cooked for some friends a meal containing veggies, meat, and a hidden ingredient: dark bitter chocolate. The sauce was very dark, very tasty, but the chocolate gave a very particular taste which was very difficult to identify. I said nothing about it, but I could see on their faces they were delighted/fascinated/intrigued by the taste and flavour, wondering what was on it. During the minutes they were enjoying the food, surprised by it, I had a very good time observing their reactions. No one could identify the hidden ingredient. Only when they asked, I revealed it, and I enjoyed the subsequent reaction of astonishment, surprise and delight, as for them it had initially non-sense to have chocolate on the recipe, but they then could recognize the hidden taste once I told them. Same can happen in a post. But sometimes you can not know the intentions of the author. Maybe he wants to provoke reactions and see what happens. If I was invited to the mentioned meal, I would let the host to reveal the hidden ingredient, even if I knew it. He has taken his time to prepare a surprise. I am not going to ruin it, trying to make myself wiser than the others.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #87

#103
SO glad to read your comment dear David Navarro L\u00f3pez. WE need your brain here. Being a great cook yourself (as you shared many appetizing photos of your cooking) I have no fear that ti shall face what you described in your comment. I mean " if I really dislike it, my option is to shut up, and decline further invitations with my silence". Even if you get tagged to comment on a buzz that you know the cook is lousy you may simple stay away in this case. Avoidance is a good strategy in this case. You and I have been very active in exchanging comments and we were inspiration for each other. I believe commenting that leads to expanding on our understanding and opens new windows of thought have been rewarding for me. As for giving attention to invitees more than the person than the host I experienced this. Sometimes, the host is very quiet and hardly talks- what shall we do in this case? Commenting acts as a way to keep the atmosphere vivid. Some comments do just that. They create the space for other commenters to step in. I assure you I shall be delighted if you "hijack" the discussions because I know you shall enrich the discussions. On a side note, my daughter Sara has just returned to Germany from Barcelona. She has been to the place that I long for visiting. Lucky Sara.

David Navarro López

منذ 5 سنوات #86

Dear Ali, since the very beginning, when you encouraged me to be more active some years ago in LI, and then in this blessed Bebee, I had always the same behaviour when reading a post, that is: First, I read carefully what the author has to say. Then, I take my time to think if I can add value to the post, or maybe, there is some point I would like to have further explanation. After that, sometimes, if I see that among the commenters there are people who I respect, maybe I would read them, and only seldom times I make comments on their comments. This is due to the fact I have a lot of respect for the one who has taken his/her time to think and write a post. Is like someone has invited me to his/her house/privacy, or to share a meal. It would be, in my point of view, a lack of good manners, to pay more attention to the other attendees rather than the one who is offering the meal, or criticize it if no enhancement purpose was intended, but always with respect. Same way than being invited to a meal, if I really dislike it, my option is to shut up, and decline further invitations with my silence. Because I have no time to waste, not with trash food, nor with non-sense comments. You might recall we have spoken about degrading comments or bitter/aggressive behaviours in the past, and you always pretended to turn them into more positive thoughts, due to your infinite kindness, whilst I always pointed out it was a waste of time. Precisely the attitude you are pointing out with your words"If you were about to be attacked by a wasp don’t move for the wasp will not only attack you but will send a message to the wasp colony to attack you. Stay still and just ignore such comments. The wasp shall then leave you alone."

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #85

#101
May be it is the colorful puzzle cube and in this case it is the colorful comments cube Zacharias \ud83d\udc1d Voulgaris

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

منذ 5 سنوات #84

So, when someone comments on this article, is it "comments cubed"? :-)

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #83

#99
I agree with you dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic, but will add a short comment. The author shouldn't labor the readers with difficult to read concepts and selection of difficult words. You yourself is an example of what I mean. Your buzzes are rich in clarifying images, easy-flowing sentences and logical approaching to what you want to say. You make it easy for the reader to digest your content.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

منذ 5 سنوات #82

#85
Dear Joane, you mentioned that the act of taking time to fully engage is what leads to a valuable discussion. I couldn't agree more. It also must include the effort to read and actually understand what has been written and then, comment accordingly. All that is time-consuming and the time for many of us who are preoccupied with other things in our life is a dependent variable. :-)

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #81

#97
Oh dear- dear Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

منذ 5 سنوات #80

#96
i am amazed 'dear' is missing my dear sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! there perhaps lies the lacuna of a commentators! just to have fun sir. don't take it seriously please. sometimes we need to have relaxation and i guess, you will surely admit it.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #79

#95
Well-said Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

منذ 5 سنوات #78

#93
yes sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, i do subscribe with your prolific views. not all fish are fish. there are whales too who are mammals in aquatic sphere. thank you for your kind response sir.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #77

#87
Dear Joanne Gardocki- you said it right. "some of us have experienced where we become part of something greater". This is a great definition of value added in my opinion.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #76

#92
The issue is bigger than we think dear Debasish Majumder explained in her buzz of today, not all artists are artists. Yes, some people carry the responsibility and have the ability, but many also don't. Writing a concise comments need authorship and require understanding of the issue under discussion. I wonder what readers think? This is an interesting topic.

Debasish Majumder

منذ 5 سنوات #75

"the author", is what you addressed sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee for her valuable comment.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #74

#90
Yes, and commenting is conveying a thought consistently. We have to be comfortable when we comment. I hope this buzz jostled your inside kindly Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

منذ 5 سنوات #73

ahhh, the bane of being a commenter... There are some posts that jostle my insides. I try to avoid these until the jiggling stops. If I feel unwell, I avoid commenting at all. Nothing good can come of it.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #72

#88
You answered this in your previous comment Joanne Gardocki. The author needs to leave space for the reader and engage in responding to comments and show interest. The quality of comments and the challenge they impose also heighten our engagement. The topic itself has to be interesting.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #71

Dear Joanne Gardocki, all commenters and myself are equally encouraged and enthused by your comment. You mentioned that the author become the reade and the eaders become the author. Yes, it is precisely this on-going feedback that lead to the formation of the fractal of comments as these exchanges are. As for exchanges face to face versus in print each one has its value and shortcomings. Face to face allow us to watch body language, in print we are free for direct personal judgments. I appreciate your comment greatly Joanne for you have read the preceding comments before commenting. This is a very high level of engagement.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #70

#80
Nick Mlatchkov- may be then we can safely say tell me how you comment and I tell you who you are.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #69

#79
In directly, at, I have considered your valid point Timothy welch would consider implementing it.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #68

#73
We should give time per time. Very well-said @Ismail Khider. Either we give quality comments as highlighted in the comment of Jerry Fletcher or waste peoples' time.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #67

#71
This is a human tendency and that is why we have groupthink. It is a challenge to converge after exploring all possibilities. This can be risky as people tend to go with the familiar. Convergence should follow divergence in my opinion.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #66

#70
Great comment Lisa Vanderburg. My only addition here is that I seek divergence and then convergence. The reason for convergence is to allow me see all possibilities, or most of them. Then comes divergence to seek the optimum choice. What shall be a factoring parameter is to what degree I allow feelings in my mind and emotions in my heart to interfere in my decision is the challenge.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #65

#69
Thank you Jerry Fletcher. Late is better than never, especially if the comment is worthy as your comment is. I liked your classification of comments. The intention is to add value, explore new ideas, better our understanding and learn. I wish we all would follow the guidelines offered in your comment.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #64

#68
Very well-said Harvey Lloyd "We all experience the same thing, we merely choose to deal with it in different ways". This is true on all fronts of life. For example, If you and I receive the same comment we both might respond similarly, or diverge into different path. The choice is ours.

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #63

#69
Well said Jerry Fletcher!

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #62

CONT: ''As Turner and West note, "When communicators are attracted to others they will converge in their conversations."[5] On the other hand, as the similarity attraction theory highlights, when people have similar beliefs, personality and behaviors they tend to be more attracted towards each other. To achieve a "desired social distance"(Pardo, 2016), people use language to converge more towards a conversational partner they are attracted to.[9] The desire to make social interaction flow subsequently results in convergence. Thus, when one individual shifts speech and non-verbal behaviors in order to assimilate to the other it can result in a more favorable appraisal of him, that is: when convergence is perceived positively it is likely to enhance both the conversation and the attraction between the listener and the speaker.'....''

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #61

#64
Okay my friend, I have given this some thought...this being ONE offshoot :) Your question coupled with your comment#59 'Emotions play out in the theater of the body. Feelings play out in the theater of the mind.' Trying to find the common ground on which to debate across the divide of language and culture, I found this: Communication accommodation theory (wiki): Look at the section Convergence and Divergence. ''Convergence refers to the process through which an individual shifts speech patterns in interaction so that they more closely resemble the speech patterns of speech partners.[6] People can converge through many features of communication such as their use of language, their "pronunciation, pause and utterance lengths, vocal intensities, non verbal behaviors, and intimacy of self disclosures"(Giles and Smith, 1979, 46), but they do not necessarily have to converge simultaneously at all of these levels. In fact, people can both converge at some levels and diverge through others at the same time.[4] People use convergence based on their perceptions of others, as well as what they are able to infer about them and their backgrounds. Attraction (likability, charisma, credibility), also triggers convergence.''

Jerry Fletcher

منذ 5 سنوات #60

Dr. Ali, Sorry to be late to the party again. My simple rule about commenting is: Can you add to this discussion in a positive way? If I disagree with a view expressed I try to look into my disagreement and pinpoint the reason why. If it is logical, I'll probably respond. If it is emotional I ponder before committing a keystroke but try to make the emotion clear. Many itmes I try to add to the discussion by either adding information or looking at what was presented from a different perspective. And, just because of my personality I encourage the writer. It is not easy to write in English if it is not your mother tongue (and hard enough if it is). There are many here that write in "broken English" but there views and advice are well worth the effort required for "translation."

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #59

#62
One day they will drag me off the field of play haveing lived life to its fullest, in my perspective, only for me to acknowledge the bleachers were right. One day they will fall from the bleachers and they were right and the ameba we came is what we are again. Or they will fall out and realise they missed the game. If they are right we all go the same way. If the field of play is right then they will be separated. But both the bleachers and the field of play are the same thing. We all experience the same thing, we merely choose to deal with it in different ways. Free will is the choice of where and how to play. The rest is a mystery at best. But make no mistake a bet is being placed within the choice. My hope, we all win, my understanding is that we all loose regardless or some of us win. Given each is the same ante, what is it that you choose? I respect both choices.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #58

#65
I don't ask you dear Lisa Vanderburg- I request you! :)

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #57

#61
Awareness would be to our own “feelings”. How we perceive different use of words and definitions. If feelings get released then i should seek understanding before we let the emotions escape our keyboard.

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #56

#64
Don't ask me - ask Harvey Lloyd!! :)

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #55

#63
This is just one example of meanings of words that diverge our thinking. The issue will be then how to converge these thoughts? I am on the same boat you are on my friend Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #54

#59
Seconded. And #60 agree...I ain't the one to translate it :)

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #53

#58
Edge away, Harvey :) Your bleachers metaphor is a timely expansion to include free will; a vital part of our personal responsabilities that 'free speech' encompasses. With you on the swill bit!

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #52

#60
Yes, and very often we tend to use the two terms interchangeably when in fact our feelings affect the emotions that our bodies experience. I brought this issue for discussion because of your comment that social media dictates on us to be quite aware of the words we use. Sometimes I find awareness isn't enough.

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #51

#59
I really like the last one. That is the concept i have a difficult time interpreting into everyday life. I experience from people that physical part. The mind part is that shadow motivating the physical. Brilliantly stated. But a difficult topic to bring forward from metaphysical to reality.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #50

#57
I wrote many posts on emotions. One of the good articles is this: https://www.thebestbrainpossible.com/whats-the-difference-between-feelings-and-emotions/ From it I extract two quotes. Antonio D’Amasio, professor of neuroscience at The University of California and author of several books on the subject, explains it as: Feelings are mental experiences of body states, which arise as the brain interprets emotions, themselves physical states arising from the body’s responses to external stimuli. (The order of such events is: I am threatened, experience fear, and feel horror.) Dr.Sarah Mckay, neuroscientist and author of the Your Brain Health blog explains it like this: Emotions play out in the theater of the body. Feelings play out in the theater of the mind.

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #49

#57
Well said. Feelings we can act on as we can review the narritive that cause them. Giving us an opportunity to open up the axioms that put them there and do they still apply. Emotions are the descriptors man uses to describe certain personas that we experience. We can alter the definition to some degree but in reality anger is anger. We cant change that. I dont think Freud was far off the mark when he described the fact we attach feelings to circumstances and situations within our childhood narritive, and live out of them. This is the discussion of free will. Can we look back at these feelings we attached to our early childhood experiences? Science says no Christianity says yes. Not easy to do and maybe impossible. The alternative is to live within the swill we are given. I think i had much rather be on the battlefield foolishly attempting to exert free will, than on the sidelines with science believeing all is determined. There is one aspect of free will i hold as truth and sacred. I can choose to be on the field of play or in the stands with a hypothesis. I dont yell into the bleachers concerning foolishness and reserve the right to expect, while i am on the field of play to not hear from the bleachers, i have chosen. Each has chosen their placement. Find joy with in it. But dont mock the other. (Sorry a little edgy, but does represent my little corner of free will.) So with that information and 7 bucks you can get a cup of coffee at Starbucks:) Again you are spot on:)

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #48

#55
#56 Don't know if I'm agreeing or not, Harvey Lloyd! :) Feelings are intuitive (inward/internal), emotions are the result (outward/external). Both can be resisted or acted upon seperately or together. Is that about right?

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #47

#55
I like how you define feelings and emotions and how they relate to each other. Of all my search for differentiating the two I have not come across a thorough definition as yours. You can live the complexity of how a comment has taken us into different thinking paths

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #46

#49
I do agree but would separate the language barriers as technical issues and empathy covering the more personal/shadow views between folks. The feelings/emotions is a complex example of defining the two as different. We tend to overlay these words over the same things. Feelings are more the narritive we lay over our experiences within life. The emotions are what we show when we experience these feelings again. Poorly defined but does give some insight within the definitions. In our youth we may have been fearful of confrontation and had bad experiences within the paradigm. This experiencial fear is our feeling. In adult life we may show the emotion of disgust, anger or contempt when we fear this again.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #45

#53
:)))

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #44

haha...I did look...briefly :)

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #43

Is it obscure dear Lisa Vanderburg. I expected visual people at least to look at it.

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #42

I really don't think people are looking at your chart dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee :)

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #41

#48
I forgot to mention I had some difficult times naming the quadrants in the buzz (first image). I am surprised that no comment so far objected to the names I suggested to the four quadrants. Names affect out thinking and by giving a different name to a quadrant we might be traveling on a different trajectory. The butterfly effect of words is acting strongly on social platforms.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #40

#48
Ad for me writing in a foreign language the challenges are even greater. What adds to the challenges is that many words have no clear definitions or understanding the differences between them. b the difference between love and passion?Recently, Pascal Derrien referred to this issue in a recent comment on one of my recent buzzes. I Googled and I know much more about the two now. Feelings and emotions is another example. Because we define same thing differently too shall be our traits. For example, if we define leadership slightly differently the traits of good leadership change as well. That is why empathy on social media is essential. Do you agree Harvey Lloyd?

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #39

#28
I am more the face to face style communicator. Social media is teaching me new lanaguage skills. Grammar and word choice is one of my weaknesses in this area. Word choice is the big one within social media. I found out very quickly that words are defined differently across the world. One comment sent the writer in to a tailspin of aggression because of one word and we shared definitions and found the problem. This really opened my mind to how words are defined through our narritive and i should take care in interpretation. I dont do drama. So words that point or screenplay drama are interpreted by me as someone who needs a solution. I had to learn the concept of “just venting”. I think everyone entering the social media scene attaches real life communication narritives to there posts, comments. This is a huge mistake as i have learned. Social media requires a much thicker skin to absorb and learn how folks define words, venting or their intentions within writing the post.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #38

#46
True Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic and I experienced the same. I don't need to tell you with whom and how recent that was. However; i faced the same issue with you the misunderstanding shall wipe off soon and the fog shall clear. This is because over time we have developed some ties between us. I mentioned one example that I suffered from before. I wanted to type "I shifted interest". The spell check didn't help as I typed shifted without the f letter. Now, you know the resulting word. This led to misunderstanding because I hardly then knew the author. We have to be more careful with new-established connections.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

منذ 5 سنوات #37

#41
Yes, Ali, but how many times we misunderstood each other even in a face to face communication. Text-based communication is faceless. It requires much more concentration and is based only on one sense-vision. Because we can't experience a person's mind directly, we need to interpret one's thoughts put into words. Commenting and messaging is also very time-consuming. That's why I participate in comment threads far less than I would like. Sometimes we read other comments or messages hastily that could also lead to the misconception in writing our responses. But as long as people are willing to communicate, they will resolve misunderstandings.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #36

#44
Oh my friend Edward Lewellen this is the paradox that the richer we think we are in whatever such as money, info, meaning, the less we have. If it is not true today, the paradox shall be true tomorrow.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #35

#30
Absolutely correct dCityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit on comments that serve no purpose and reflect no light.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #34

#29
I must refer here dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic that constructive criticism is needed and we don't have to be on the same wavelength on all subjects. However; one issue arises when the construction of some comments is vague. I encountered this in few times and I didn't quite understand what the commenter wished to say. I shall be honest and tell you that in few occasions I messaged the commenter before responding to his/her comment. Sadly, many times I heard "because we wrote the comment in a rush". Either we write clearly; else it is better not to write.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #33

#28
One reason for me to have moved from LI to beBee is precisely who you wrote dear Cyndi wilkins can help in understanding this behavior.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #32

#27
I tell you dear Tausif Mundrawala that comments helped me find out the young people with self-drive to lean and upgrade themselves. I may safely say here you set a very good example of what I mean. You have labelled yourself as a worthy writer and commenter.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #31

#26
You are very correct dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic. You are right concerning repeated comments on all buzzes with almost the same words. Such comments become void of meaning and have no impact because we lost trust in their value. This is a very important issue. Commenting on a buzz without reading it is a practice that leads to writing very general comments with zero value added. Yes, you raise a red flag rightly.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #30

#25
Harvey Lloyd- praise for accomplishment is recognition and appreciation. My wife is a great cook; yet whenever she cooks she will not be satisfied till we tell her it is tasty or a lovely meal. People like assurances because when they do well expectation from them go higher. They need to be assured that they met the new challenging expectations.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #29

#24
Again and as we exchanged in our private messages recently it is the intention of the comment that counts. We learn from comments if they are written not to irritate, but to learn, find out what is wrong and then move forward. Your story is a great example of what I mean. Thank you Harvey Lloyd

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #28

#23
Thank you for highlighting the positive side of negative comments Harvey Lloyd. As I explained in the Venn diagram in this buzz it is the intersection of praise and criticism that we have the sweet area. Very ably your comment explains the diagram. I have exchanges of comments with you more than any other bee and I experienced the value of balanced comments from you and other bees. You know that I wrote few buzzes bases on our conversations and exchange of comments. So is my next buzz shall be. I "lived" the meaning of your comment and I share it.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #27

#22
First, I must apologize for being late in responding to the thoughtful comments. It is feat days here and I had to do social activities. I have nothing to add to your comment because it is true and I am in agreement with you.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #26

#21
#21 I may say with enough assurances that I learnt from comments more than I learnt from preparing my buzzes Bill King. I have very fortunate with commenters enriching the posts and acting as a source. Unfortunately in very few cases I had bad experiences with comments, mainly those that were assaults and distracting. Apart from this I agree fully with your comment. You know yourself that you inspired me with buzz ideas.

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #25

#29
haha....I don't even understand my American/English at times, lovely Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic :) Yes, I am always questioning my own motives: are they self-serving or altruistic? I am not beyond making mistakes, and I love to think we all should be free to be mere mortals here - warts and all. Thanks for your understanding.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

منذ 5 سنوات #24

#21
Bill, thank you for the kind words. I think my post about praising for a job well done would be interesting to you. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@lada-prkic/to-be-or-not-to-be-praised-for-a-job-well-done

CityVP Manjit

منذ 5 سنوات #23

For me comments are a white space laboratory that provide a purpose to think. That is why I am such a fan of metacognition - if we see what we write as thinking then we are not embarking on commentary. We are embarking on reflection because it is important to learn something from the way we have responded and why we may have responded that way. Comments sections are socially engineered processes unless we rise above that social engineering and ask questions beyond how the provider set up the system we are not usually cognizant of - because we see dialogue rather than design.

Lada 🏡 Prkic

منذ 5 سنوات #22

#6
Interesting thoughts, dear Lisa, about calling in others to join the discussion on a post you found compelling. We don't have to be on the same page or to think likewise about every subject. It would be boring. :-) But it doesn't mean we can't have a meaningful conversation or be friends despite some possible differences in worldviews. I read your comment multiple times to be sure I understand what you said. :-) I have to say that I have a little problem with American English.

Cyndi wilkins

منذ 5 سنوات #21

#24
I think every good writer or commenter, (is that a word?? Because spell check keeps flagging me on that one;-) has a few nasty exchanges under their belt Harvey Lloyd... The first encounter I had really rattled my cage as the person was quite hostile...attacking my character and intellect with inflammatory remarks meant to engage me in battle. After a couple of return remarks meant to squelch the flames, he just got hotter under the collar and downright verbally abusive...At first I did feel the need to defend myself, but soon realized the situation was futile as this man was a very injured soul looking for an outlet. Anyone who has ever been trolled knows they will just keep pouring blood in the water as long as you keep taking the bait. I found myself telling this man that I was sorry for the pain he was in...then ceased communication. He cyber-stocked me for a while...but like all predators, they eventually find someone else to hunt...I consider these events a 'right of passage' into the world of cyber space;-) Take the good, the bad and the downright ugly and you are making an impact!

Lada 🏡 Prkic

منذ 5 سنوات #20

Ali, commenting is a skill and like any other skill needs constant improvement. I agree with Harvey about the values of constructive comments that add ideas to original post allowing the content evolves, and create meaningful discussion challenging our own mindset. The comments that repeat the same words from a post don't add any value to the discussion and basically are meaningless. Many commenters tend to quote a part of the post instead of writing own opinion, especially when commenting is nothing more than a duty of care. I said a lot about praising in my last buzz and don't want to repeat myself. I will just add that the first step to a meaningful discussion is to express own personal opinion about the topic even if that opinion results in disagreement and criticism, but without belittling the other person.

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #19

#21
Bill King i share your thoughts on praise at work. Myself i am very goal driven. The accomplishment of the goal is praise enough for me. I don't mind the verbal praise but it is the goal completion that sends the serotonin through the system. And of course......this means i don't even think about praising others. I Ass-u-me that others are self satisfied with their own goal accomplishments. Between my daughter and my wife, they both work at our firm, they kick me in the pants and i have gotten better at it, but it still feels unnatural. I appreciate your thoughts as i know all to well a little praise goes along way. Most employees just want to know they are in the right ball park of success, as seen by supervision. A little praise helps them know they are there.

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #18

I once commented on an LI post about something political where i didn't agree with the writer. I thought it was probably some wet behind the ears writer espousing some garbage can political view. Boy did i get schooled. The writer used the points in comment #23 and made me defend my comment. It was hostile at first but after a few exchanges he really did school me on constitutional law. He turned out to be an attorney that adjudicated in appeals court. We both laughed as he said he had gotten caught with off the cuff remarks to many times to hold a grudge with me. I thanked him for the education he gave me and we moved on. The moral to the story. Sometimes we catch comments from a person who is just a little sideways or maybe a language thing, working past the behavioral language we learn something and gain a new network asset. Make no mistake though we are all susceptible to being sideways ourselves when we read a negative comment and the fingers cant be stopped.🤦‍♀️

Harvey Lloyd

منذ 5 سنوات #17

It would be difficult for me to get further than Edward Lewellen's comment. He said it quite succinctly. I would like to introduce the positive side of the negative comment. A negative comment is nothing more than a customer service issue and the customer is irate. How the writer deals with this issue is a sign of skill and commendable discipline when engaging. There are a few rules of engagement. 1. Never address the behavioral language as it is presented or you perceive it. 2. Look for the point the commenter was trying to make, once you remove all the adjectives and adverbs. 3. Inquire with questions concerning there point of view, engage them to support the comment 4. Attempt to merge their thoughts and yours into a common theory/understanding. 5. If all else fails let them know you appreciate their point of view but we cant find common ground so we leave it where we started. This process shows other commenters you are open to contrary view points, establishes your role as a leader within a tight spot and finally it allows the "audience" to draw from the exchange their own POV of both parties. This is not a five step process to success, but rather a process that you might learn from someone, or it might blow up in your face. But the battle will be judged and having stayed out of the debilitating behavioral language swaps you should look like the one who attempted honor. Oddly if praise is an issue you can engage the individual in the same way. Asking them to express what they found so praise worthy.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #16

#17
Sear friend Edward Lewellen- I am sure that your comment speaks to many hearts. You summed it beautifully "I feel truly sorry for those that have to always be "right", rather than have the intention of learning." I find this portion of your comment a gem that every commenter should hold close to his mind and heart. I say with confidence this is a great because it shall reside i my mind for long times.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #15

#16
Appreciation of a buzz that I have no comment for is OK. Toxic comments have no place in my heart and I agree with you Pascal Derrien

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #14

#15
A friend of mine made a comment on LI that was unnecessary. He was a candidate for a great job. His comment cost him the job. I agree with you Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Pascal Derrien

منذ 5 سنوات #13

I actually think that commenting is hard stuff not everybody starting with me has the ability to make a valuable contribution. Sometimes the acknowledgment of the fact that I like an article is a light hearted comment or pun ... just a little encouragement which is a bit more than a simple like that's a like ++ In the end it is what it is if the comments are not venomous or toxic I am fine with it and I appreciate it :-)

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #12

#9
Copy that Pascal Derrien! I certainly don't want or need to walk on eggshells as a commenter - a buzzer, okay! That seems to be what's at stake. #12 Couldn't agree more Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador!

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #11

#12
Comments are becoming a social issue and I appreciate your comment dear Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. SOmetimes I wonder if few commenters would ask themselves a simple question"will anything change and if yes in what direction"? Yes, why bother writing a comment whose lifetime span is for few seconds, or if it would stick like tar on clothes.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #10

#9
Pascal Derrien- it is bout the intention with which we write.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #9

#7
Dear Lisa Vanderburg for two reasons. This buzz is titled Comments on Comments and you credited the buzz. Second- the comment of Jean is worthy of serious consideration. I shall be happy to read comments on her comment and Jean's comment as I shall be happy reading comments on the buzz. The whole idea is to show the world what considerate comments can do in influencing us and making us learn and grow.

Pascal Derrien

منذ 5 سنوات #8

Phew :-) I don't do sugar as I am diabetic so hopefully this comment will remain neutral in toxicity terms. The responsibility and onus is also on the writer there is a difference between engagement and attention seeking cravings me thinks ?

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #7

#6
Dear Lisa Vanderburg and her comment. Strangely enough, only two minutes ago I sent Lada a private message concerning one of her responses on her tagged buzz as I found that response quite fitting here. We should aim for high value added comments that enrich the discussions. I believe what Harvey Lloyd said once is vary valid here. It is the intentions that count and if the author senses that the commenter is only trying to knock him down is bound to react mostly negatively. However; the selection of our words and their tone are important. For example, if you criticize me, and you did it before, I take your criticism with good intentions for your proved this. So, I have no problem whatsoever appreciating your criticism and acting on it. We learn a lot from comments that are written without leaving out emotional intelligence. I believe giving enough consideration to others reflects on the way we comment. I appreciate your input.

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #6

#4
Just my tuppence Jean - I'm subscribed to many broadsheet newspapers online for the obvious reasons. Like political or documentary videos on UTube, it's always the bleedin' closed-mind vile comments that are so sad. I think you've sussed Ali perfectly!

Lisa Vanderburg

منذ 5 سنوات #5

A doozy again dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! As most of us know, the comments are capable of doubling-up and compounding the satisfaction of the buzz, for all one learns from them. In order to avoid a mindless over-play, we that comment can become fearful of what we say, so I think that's why the too-effusive ilk of comment comes to be. It's equally tricky walking that very thin line that may be perceived as critisism. This is the distinction between buzz & comments on BB, and post & comments LI - the readers who comment are free to partake but need to think of what they can add that will enrich without killing the messanger! In lovely Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic's recent buzz: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@lada-prkic/bebee-a-hive-for-praise she pinpoints the sheer difficulty of getting it right without falling ain a vat of sticky and sickly honey. As a commenter to another's buzz I may feel we're on the same page...I may feel that our ideas are bringing more fuition, but that doesn't mean they're necessarily perceived as such. We must learn from our mistakes, and one important lession is to be very careful about calling in others to a buzz I find extremely interesting. My assumption that they would think like-wise is a poor decision on my part. Getting carried away by concepts is like watching a really great movie...you just want everyone else to see the richness you see!

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #4

#4
Dear Debasish Majumder- I genuinely wished to have a narrow gap to criticize your comment so that I may not sound exaggerating. I couldn't. You highlight a valuable point in that critical posts and comments get the maximum waggling dance and they become the preferred one. Unfortunately, this is true. As I quoted in the buzz we need a ratio of 5:1 or 6:2 of positive to negative as established by research; we observe the opposite. ALways negative issues have a higher voice. I leave the reader to read your comment comprehensively. A special note to dear - please read Jean's comment if you plan to write a poem on same topic. I am very happy that I can say safely your comment Jean is of high added value and positive impact.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #3

#2
Dear Debasish Majumder- please write a poem. Your comment is worthy of making a great poem. I find that paising comments may be also augmented with suggestions to the author, providing other possibilities, negating an idea or suggesting an alternative. No one should think of a buzz as perfect. This way we keep the balance. When authors write to persuade you they tend to only present the pro argument and leave out any element of weakening their persuasion. The reader may rake this role.

Debasish Majumder

منذ 5 سنوات #2

excellent buzz sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee and shared. thank you very much for the buzz.

Ali Anani

منذ 5 سنوات #1

Harvey Lloyd- you are mentioned in this buzz

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