Creativity in Making the Incompatible Compatible

Creativity in Making the Incompatible Compatible

Harvey Lloyd made a splendid comment on my previous buzz. In his comment Harvey wrote "The word coexistence in itself tends to bring forward two independent thoughts that must survive within the same space. How we approach these independent thoughts will determine synergy or compromise. Interdependence removes the ceilings of coexistence".

I responded "The easy path is to think of the incompatible thoughts as two opposing ends. However; creative thinking looks for creative solutions. You open my eyes to a buzz that I should write- How to Make the Incompatible compatible"? This is how the idea of this buzz originated.

Many people start their lives very compatible to the extent you think of the two bodies as one. On the surface this is delightful; below the surface it could be a source of problems to appear. Plants may suffer from self-incompatibility meaning that plants fail to produce seeds when self-pollinated.Β 

Sometimes we may need purposefully to induce incompatibility so that seeds of new ideas may form.
Ali Anani, PhD

Many compatible people or married couples start life very compatible. However; over the course of life they diverge in to different trajectories and find the gap between them growing till it can no longer be bridged. They become like milk and fat being inhomogeneous and separating in two layers. Should this happen what to do?

One way to deal with incompatibility is introducing a third party with two ends. One end is compatible with one party (say the husband) and the other end compatible with the second party (wife). This way the third party acts as a bridging agent between the otherwise incompatible partners.

The separation of interests over time between partners may turn their togetherness incompatible. This isn't time for blaming; it is time to understand each partner. It is like we understand the early need to deal with pebbles of problems as soon as they appear. If these pebbles stay they shall act as nucleating centers for other pebbles to aggregate to. People don't throw away these pebbles and keep them in their memories. Expressing concerns early on will help in dissolving those pebbles before they grow big and attract other pebbles to them.

There are two poles one with milk and one with no milk and in between there is a compromise- skimmed milk. If differences are so fatty then we need to remember that shall separate and float on the surface of milky relationships where they can be skimmed off. We need little patience to allow enough time for these problems to float. We need to skim off our differences.

Another possible approach is washing off the dirt of problems. Like dirt we remove by adding soap. Soap preferentially attracts the oily dirt and suspends it in water where it can be removed. A couple might be like oil and milk and are incompatible, but still they may find a way to suspend the dirt in their relationship by finding an idea or approach that attracts this dirt and suspend it.

If we can clean our clothes, then we shall be able to clean our differences.
Ali Anani, PhD

We tend sometimes to aggravate problems by doing incorrect actions. Like we need to avoid cold drinks after meals because they may cause digestive problems; equally we need to avoid cold discussions immediately after having a hot and fatty discussion. The timing of our discussions is so important so as not to turn even a "good meal together" into a bad one. We do frequent practices that harm us. We take banana after drinking milk which might produce toxins in the body. Or, we take citrus fruits after drinking milk si that we feel sour. Same way, two couples may sour their conversations. Milk is good, citrus fruits are good; their consumption together is harmful. We introduce incompatibility to our lives same way. We insist on discussing topics irrelevant of their sequence and if this sequence could make us feel sour.

We should be observant of what sours our compatibility and find ways to avoid them, reduce them as much as finding ways of being aware of what inflates incompatibility. More importantly is finding creative solutions that are acceptable for both parties.


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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#27
Research has shown that in small, localized regions, glass behaves like a crystal, with atoms aligned in an orderly matrix. But at long-length scales, its disorder dictates its flexibility; Dears Sara Jacobovici- order on a small scale and disorder on a large scale coexisting. https://www.livescience.com/40326-glass-molecules-motion-captured.html Noticeable is that disorder dictates the flexibility of glass. I wonder what you think

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#27
I couldn't resist responding to your comment dera Vincenzo De Florio because of its robustness. You remind me of proteins folding and how they interact with the environment by changing their shapes, stretching and folding. The proteins ability to perceive incompatibility and their reaction teach us how to respond to environmental stresses. SO much t think about my friend.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
You are absolutely correct dear Sara Jacobovici. I fully agree with you "Perhaps it would help if we were more conscience of not just how compatibility or incompatibility happens or takes place, but when to be in that process in order to achieve the optimum benefits". You, being process oriented, provoked the highlighting of such an important point. I am sure this point should receive the merit it deserves.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#21
You always so that creativity comes first dear Sara Jacobovici. It is ignoring this fact that makes solutions expensive.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#20
I add my voice to yours dear Sara Jacobovici. Sara, I like this so much " fracture stimulating stronger bone structure in the healing process"?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Thank you Gabriel Bazzolo for sharing my buzz.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #17

Another very thought provoking buzz Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the discussions you inspire. One element for me which I experienced like an undercurrent in this discussion is "timing", the "when" of something taking place. Citrus is good when we have it with water first thing in the morning. Lemon water is said to get the gastric system ready to properly absorb food and its nutrients. Yet, as you mentioned, taken later with milk, may cause gastric distress. You write, "The timing of our discussions is so important." And, "We insist on discussing topics irrelevant of their sequence and if this sequence could make us feel sour." Perhaps it would help if we were more conscience of not just how compatibility or incompatibility happens or takes place, but when to be in that process in order to achieve the optimum benefits.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #16

#17
#18 Very intriguing discussion gentlemen, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. My bias leans toward a developmental model that sees the ability to be creative taking place first, then within that environment, we come up with great thoughts and the discovery of facts.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #15

#8
Forgive me for my ignorance Vincenzo De Florio, but I am intrigued by the word "resilience", when you say, "...incompatibility is a necessary catalyst to a system's resilience." Is it the process of "reacting" to the incompatibility, to perhaps "resolve" it, that strengthens a system's resilience, such as a fracture stimulating stronger bone structure in the healing process? I appreciate your perspective of this being an important part of our systems, "It is another reason why diversity is a key asset in our systems and ecosystems."

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
What a lovely thought dear Laurent Boscherini. I am sleeping on it for I am sure a forthcoming buzz will expand on your comment. SUperb comment yours is my friend.

Laurent Boscherini

Laurent Boscherini

4 years ago #13

#17
dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, that reminds me The Great Hippocampus Question, which was a 19th-century scientific controversy about the anatomy of apes and human uniqueness. Facts vs Creativity, before to turn both side into a factual Creativity to enlighten scientific facts, as a paradigm of this paradox.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#15
This is the irony or paradox my dear friend Laurent Boscherini. Creativity is finding easy and cost-effective solutions, but we make the cost of self acceptance very high. Is this due to lack of creativity?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#14
Then do I hope to read a buzz on your reflections my dear friend Vincenzo De Florio? I hope so

Laurent Boscherini

Laurent Boscherini

4 years ago #10

Thank you dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee for sharing your interesting post.Creativity is in large part a decision that anyone can make, that's why maybe few people do make and most of us find the costs too high in term of self acceptance. "We are our choices" - Jean Paul Sartre

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
- Acknowledging what we do is a sign of self awareness. You have this awareness dear Paul Walters. I wish you safe flights and that you land on the awakening realization that you know what to do to stop aggravating problems. You are so genuine with your support. It is enough to notice a comment by you to feel my heart flying with joy.

Paul Walters

Paul Walters

4 years ago #8

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee I seem to be continually on the move these days. I read this in yet another airport and it somehow calms me. It puts into perspective much of what I go through on a daily basis. "We tend sometimes to aggravate problems by doing incorrect actions." How true that particular gem is and I do this all the time. Thank you as always for your thoughtful insights ....always appreciated

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#9
At least I have the will to say thank you with my deepest gratitude to your kind words and great wishes dear Simone Luise Hardt. Have a splendid and joyful day.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

This comment shall always stay in my heart ear friend Vincenzo De Florio. It is such a subtle and meaningful one. Yes, we tend to see the negative side of incompatibility, but as you outlined, there are positive sides of it. In our complex world we need resilience. Our mindset must be ready for this complexity. One way is surely seeing the positivity in the negativity. This is an assured way to increase our resilience. You branch the discussions into new landscapes. I am awfully grateful to you my friend.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#6
Yes, we have come full circle Harvey Lloyd. Your mentioning of emotional needs within the context of your comment is spot on. The root causes of incompatibility are worthy of a study on their own. Your mentioning of self awareness maturity is indeed a source of incompatibility (self-incompatibility). This idea to look further of what causes it appeals to me strongly. I believe you put your finger on a hot issue- self awareness at home, at work and how it affects home and business relationships. Thank you Harvey for you unfailingly trigger my mind with new ideas and directions.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #4

Thanks for the mention and thoughts. Oddly enough we have come full circle. We are back to the duality discussed a few months ago. Short of morality issues, incompatibility is typically brought on by this duality of need. The goal and our own internal emotional needs. I would suggest that in leadership we must understand this duality and allow for both to be served. Most marriages fail because of unmet emotional needs. Financial, social and personal goals may spark the unmet emotional need, but i would also suggest that a third paradigm exists. Self awareness maturity is another culprit as we look at incompatibility and the ability to move forward. Good leaders understand their emotions and realize they are to be sorted and not acted on automatically. Conversely they must look at their team, partner or others and realize they are struggling to sort the emotion, not the goal. More importantly good leaders dont see the sorting of emotions as a personal attack but rather as self defense. Interesting thought journey Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#4
debasish majumder- you are of diamond- a little "scratch" comment shall not break you.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#2
You experienced this dear debasish majumder. Didn't you encounter any incompatibility with somebody without even knowing why? What you thought of a s a homogeneous platform suddenly you find yourself facing an heterogeneous comment for no reason? SOmetimes we don't know where the seeds of incompatibility fell from. You know this better than I.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Harvey Lloyd- you are mentioned in this buzz

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