Is First Always Good?

Is First Always Good?

The idea of this buzz resulted from a comment that @Cyndi Wilkins wrote commenting on my buzz β€œThe Relegation of a Buzz”. In her comment Cyndi wrote β€œby choosing to cut corners with a 'quick-fix/me first' attitude rather than doing the hard work required to create sustainability...”. I responded by writing β€œ. I paused for a while reading your words "'quick-fix/me first' attitude". Not only this is a good definition of greed, more importantly is the inspiration embedded in these words. We thrive to be first or not like being the first kid, the first idea, the first impression and first-minded costs. The greed for first has led us to ignore sustainable ideas and deprived us in the rush to see the ill-sided effects. I might write a buzz on this idea. Mostly I shall.

One hour later I read a thorough buzz written by @PD Scullin titled β€œThe Danger of Marketing Instant Gratification And The Beauty of Investing Time And Waiting”. Part of my comment reads β€œYour buzz tempts me even more to write my own. I enjoyed the marshmallow experiment and very true is what you wrote those who resist the immediate temptation emerge as winners”. People rush for first and early options. This prompted me to go on and write this buzz.

There are many examples of first in our lives such as:

First idea (thought)

First impression

First examination

First to comment

First love and first dating

First kiss

First to buy

First experience

First class versus economy class

First day at school

First draft

First in a village rather than second in a city

All above example emphasizes the merit of being first. A long-held axiom that may need disruption. And the following material explains why.

Just look at the background image of this buzz and tell me what you see first. Do you see a rope or a snake? Your first impression about a person maybe he is a snake and he is not. Because of our tendency to be consistent we keep seeing this person as a snake. Worse, this consistency leads to the halo effect that because of one bad attribute of a person we see other attributes as evil as well. What compounds this issue more is that we don’t to mistaken ourselves (consistency again). We carry on thinking a person is a snake, which in reality only a rope that we turned into a poisonous snake.

The first impression is like water that runs out of a faucet as soon as we open it. It looks turbid. Then it clarifies. We need to do the same without initial turbid impressions so that they may clear out.
Ali Anani

The first entry to the market can be very risky. Yes, it is important to be first, but more important is being good enough to sustain the test of time. Look at the zipper invention. The first guy who had the idea was first in the market. However, only years later the guy who developed an acceptable quality zipper gained a market footage. Being first without being best (or good enough) is a mirage that shall not turn into water.

The first draft is never the best product. The art of writing is re-writing it. We shouldn’t be prisoners to being first. These are like first love or first kiss. They are great, but not the best.

Being obsessed to be first who thought about something is different from being obsessed with being first and best. It is better to be second and best than being first and mature, but not ripe.
Ali Anani

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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#66
Fully agree my friend, Jerry. I wrote a presentation titled "Move hearts to move hands in pockets". https://www.slideshare.net/hudali15/move-hearts-to-move-hands-in-pockets The presentation is in full agreement with your comment, as the title is.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

2 years ago #52

Dr. Ali, whether we like it or not, emotion is behind every decision we make be it about people or products. And so it goes.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#64
Dear Jerry, Yes, I agree that we may find consistency in human behavior more than we may find it in products. This is in consistency with your writing "The rush to market is caused by both greed and fear". Both greed and fear dominate the behavior of adult investors in stock markets. Emotions play a dominant part in human behavior. As for products they may be marketed before maturing enough. If mature, emotions play a good role in selecting them.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

2 years ago #50

Dr. Ali, There is a difference in how individuals react to people and products. We can and do instantly assess people with (according to behavioral psychologists) over 80% accuracy. That's because adults are reasonably fully formed (children are not as easy to assess). Products on the other hand must be subjected to their reason for being. Too often, they are not fully formed and hence generate negative feelings. It is worth the time to find out if what you invent truly has a market and is meeting the buyer's needs. The rush to market is caused by both greed and fear. The single biggest reason for the failure of one of what appears to be a similar idea is that it was not tested with ideal prospects before being introduced. Usually it was brought to market to be "first" to get ahead of the competition. It would be nice if one equation governed both but that is not the case. And so it goes.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#62
Great comment Preston \ud83d\udc1d Vander Ven. You said all in one eloquent line "My goal is not to be first, yet to complete my task in a efficient and effective way". I do the same. If I come first it is a reward. What is important is to learn and grow. The more I discover, explore, try and imagine, the more I care less for being first. I am truly absorbed by your comment.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#60
Thank you dear Debasish Majumder- you right my friend. Instead of taking a different view as a new direction, a new possibility and a new thinking we tend to see it as contradictory to us. This is a buzz on its own. BTW- you were the one who alerted me to the rope that looks like a snake some months ago. The idea stored in my mind till the time came to express it in this buzz. Thank you my friend.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

2 years ago #47

sorry sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, i am amazed how i overlooked your buzz! it is equally interesting as usual of your all buzzes. i wonder, why we tend to make a first approach and that also ignoring the direction, considering it with a singular appearance. every thing in this world having the both side direction and we hardly care unless it align with us, that in other direction it too have first impact. snake is having a motion unlike rope and that only capable to vitiate many. so the motion with its backward direction should equally needed to be addressed with due gravity and i guess, nobody can fathom on contrary to the align direction with many, in reverse how mach impact it may cause with what perpetuity. however, wonderful buzz sir. enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Dear Debasish Majumder- I can't find your comment on this buzz my friend.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#56
Your comment is well-balanced and even though you teach others how to make good first impression. If I claim that I don't try the same then I shall be lying. But having paused over this issue I started to ask myself many questions such as: - In trying to make first good impression- do I remain authentic, or I show what not really am? - Is it fair to make people think highly of me based on a split-second decision? - How my previous axioms affect my encounter with people from the "opposite side" such as an Arab meeting a Jew, or a Greek meeting a Turk? - Would I be ready to change my impressions if my first is proven wrong, or would I insist on consistency and not change my mind? The issue is complex and surely, being first isn't the best always. The discussions here make this issue open to many more views and suggestions. The dynamism of the discussion is what makes the discussion so interesting as your comment does. Thank you and I am not less a fan of you as much as you are of me. Thank you my friend.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

2 years ago #44

#48
I agree on that. Human emotions don't follow logical principles or reasoning.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#42
I forgot to thank you Timothy welch for sharing this buzz in the Economists and Finance Hive. This is where it belongs and you did the right thing. Greatly appreciated

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#44
#45 There is a saying in Arabic that says no acceptance is genuine till it follows an initial rejection. This is the basis of change management. People move from .rejecting, to resisting, then accepting and then demanding. The reverse maybe true as well.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#43
Dear Clau Valerio- your comment is outstanding. I enjoyed reading it immensely. When we allow ourselves to be "social slaves" we lose self. We all know that striving to make people accept us we shall fail because no matter how hard we try not all people shall accept us and some will be jealous, envious, backbiting us and trying to play us down. This is a great topic to explore in a greater depth. I believe this "social inferiority complex" needs to be addressed and your comment highlights the importance of this issue. Big hug to you.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#42
Timothy welch- You remind me of many students who came first in their classes, but later failed in life. Students who were slightly behind succeeded in their lives. One reason maybe is that those students who came first focused their attention on their books and nothing else. I believe that Olympic golden medalists spend hell of time trying to achieve a goal and leave no time for other activities. Sometimes focusing too much lead to the tunneling effect. It is great to be first, but if it is not only the only expertise to grow. Life has many other challenges.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#40
First adopters rush and may not have the time to evaluate before deciding. Thank you dear Edward Lewellen for providing this great example. I see that many of comments reflect our experiences and we tend to fall back on them. In my next buzz I shall elaborate more on this issue.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#39
Luck has its role dear Lada. One first-love couple may succeed in their married life and another may fail. I have witnessed both, but I don't have the statistics on this issue. Human relations are complex and may not follow normal thinking pattern.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#37
Your examples are just great dear Roberto De la Cruz Utria.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#36
You know that you are always most welcome to the discussions dear Tausif Mundrawala because you enrich them

John Rylance

John Rylance

2 years ago #35

#44
 Many would disagree with you about first impressions. How often we hear someone say when I first met saw him/her I thought ........ (not a positive comment)  They have now been happily married for 10,20,50 years. It works the other way too. Think what abused wives say about their husbands when they first knew them. Do you meet someone and have a good/ bad feeling about them. Meet them again and have the reverse gut reaction, or revise your original feelings towards them? I do. It's called giving someone a second chance.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

2 years ago #34

#41
Dear Roberto, I rely on my intuition (guts) and the first feeling I have about a person I met for the first time. It's not about the outward appearance but some inward force that attracts or repels me from that person. When in the presence of a person my guts start to squirm, it's a bad sign for me. So far my first impression never let me down. A poisonous snake never turned to be only a rope. :)

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

2 years ago #33

#25
Dear Ali, every couple is unique. There's no recipe for a successful marriage just as there are no rules for the duration of first-love marriages. I met my husband during my first year at university. He was two years older. We married 8 years later, and we are still together - years after we first met. The same is with our closest friends. Perhaps it's about luck or karma if you believe in any of that. :)

Bill Stankiewicz, 🐝 Brand Ambassador

Sometimes I go to Starbucks too#33

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

My friend Roberto De la Cruz Utria- I see that we agree on this issue. I must admit that this buzz is controversial for some readers, and I welcome our differences. That is very true what you said and I have met with girls who care most for the appearance of the man they are attracted to. But once beauty is gone with age or for any other reason the ugliness of lack of personality, of thinking, of behaving or whatever float to the surface. I am very glad that you highlighted the problem of appearance because not all that glitter are gold.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #30

#28
Now Bill Stankiewicz, \ud83d\udc1d Brand Ambassador....I know YOU know better than that!!! McDonalds EVERY MORNING?!?! Have I taught you nothing??? LOL!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#29
This is an amazing comment dear Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. I have a note of what I wrote "I concluded that "competitive human nature" is a prime factor". I intend to expand on this and your comment is a motivation to do so. I understand you and I shall refer to your comment soon. Greatly appreciated

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#28
You know how to put a smile on my face By the way I stopped eating at McDonalds and similar restaurants for the last five years.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#27
Dear Tausif Mundrawala- what a great example of of the drawbacks of being first sometimes. The other day in a wedding party some people were first to leave just after serving dinners. I heard people whispering "these people didn't come to celebrate; more they came to have free dinner". I have just noticed that you sent me a message> I shall respond today my friend.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee " I concluded that "competitive human nature" is a prime factor" I have been contemplating the competitive nature of "us" in the last several months. To my way of thinking, it's possible it is not inherent. We have been driven to drive ourselves, and that appears to have resulted in an overall disconnect from--well--everything that's not "me." What we perceive as protection may not be protection at all. It goes back to that "look to our left and look to our right" sort of thing. If we continue to scramble over the bodies in our attempt to get to the top, we may become one.

Bill Stankiewicz, 🐝 Brand Ambassador

Well done here, I try to be first in line at McDonalds each morning but retirees beat me every time πŸ‘¨β€πŸ«πŸŽ“πŸ‘©β€πŸ­πŸ‘¨β€πŸ­πŸš§πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸπŸπŸπŸ

John Rylance

John Rylance

2 years ago #24

#24
Lada I agree with your comment those who come second are often more successful than those who come first. Although many competitive people would see coming second as being first loser. However when medals are on offer, then it's acceptable be first second or third, than be fourth and out of the medals.  We sometimes forget to be competitive with ourselves. Posting a better score, time, distance etc.  Many of the most meaningful firsts listed are personal ones and not competitive ones. Like finishing your first marathon no matter where you came.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#24
Dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic on LI reads in part "First forgiveness is like winning your foe’s fidelity". This is in accordance with many comments here and on LI. I wonder if it is necessary to conduct a survey on marriages that resulted from first love. What percentage survived? I have known many couples who were happily married after long years of first love only to get divorced soon after. They gives many reasons such as married prematurely, were not old enough to see the other as h/s is, love showed me the fake face of my ex-partner and many other reasons. On the other hand, I know of many marriages that lasted following their first love. Maybe your husband (and He shall remain) the best in your eyes, or the least, a great enough husband. Besides, human relations differ when the couples have kids as the kids become a bridging factor in their human relationship. It is a complex issue and I expected variance in opinions, and this is what keeps the discussion alive.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

2 years ago #22

Hi, Ali. It is indeed a good topic for a post. First, I don't see a snake - I see a rope. :) You said that first love or first kiss is great, but not the best. When it comes to feelings such as the first love or the first kiss, it is what people remember their whole life just because they are first. Also for many, the first love is also the last love. I married my first love. :) Or when it comes to sport and competitions, being the first meaning being the best. May the best win. It means that the most skilled wins. Being first at something or doing things for the first time is a part of competitive human nature. Many didn't capitalise being first to event things that made people's lives better, but they are remembered (Nikola Tesla for example). So, is first always good? I think that being second is a really great place to be. :) Sometimes those second-best are remembered forever.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
I think . I agree with you in that sometimes you need to be first, especially when dealing directly with other people.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

2 years ago #20

When there's want of perseverance, then better be not the first. And, sometimes in some situations, it's best to be the first for example...First forgiveness is like winning your foe’s fidelity.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
Your flow of thoughts is admirable Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. In brief words you explained the group think mentality superbly "Emotion is almost always the first response. Logic comes later". Yes, we should aspire to take a pause and ask why. Even five whys. That brings critical thinking into the process. A comment that is brewing in my mind dear Joyce.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#15
This is the second time your spur me with an idea for a buzz Cyndi wilkins. I shall respond to your great comment in my next buzz.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#14
John Rylance- this is a great definition of equality "Equality is having the same rights, responsibilities, and bound to the same rules as the next person". I love it.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#13
I hope you would consider writing a buzz on your experiences Robin Solis. Please tag me if you do. I look forward to reading it.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#11
Thank you dear friend David Navarro L\u00f3pez for the agreement as much as for the disagreement. If we were to agree in full then I wouldn't have written this buzz. Only few days back I met a newly-married couple. They told me their love story. They hated each other the minute they met. Over time, their initial feeling turned into intense love. We have a saying in Arabic that no genuine love is possible if it doesn't follow an enmity. I know this topic is open for a host of differing thoughts and I am enjoying reading about the differences. This is what makes the discussion appealing.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

"The first impression is like water that runs out of a faucet as soon as we open it. It looks turbid. Then it clarifies. We need to do the same without initial turbid impressions so that they may clear out. " So very true. This one caught me right away. It's not my first wrangle with this perception. I most often--not always--walk away and think. Why? Emotion is almost always the first response. Logic comes later. If something grabs my gut, I circle round and round and think. Why am I feeling this? It's not that that reaction is a bad thing, but it is often a mistake to blurt. Great one, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee!

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #13

#12
Yes...A 'herd' mentality is it not? Those with a sense of low self-esteem have a tendency to follow the herd even as they acknowledge the leader a wolf-in- sheep's clothing so to speak...Humility is helpful in these situations as we have learned to think for ourselves...and not only to be comfortable in our own skin, but also confident enough to let it go when the need arises. Anything lost while inhabiting this 'mental space' is a necessary sloughing-off of a worn out old skin to bring about the change necessary to present us with new opportunities for growth in alignment with our natural ability toward success.

John Rylance

John Rylance

2 years ago #12

There is something special humbling in being considered Primus inter Pares (First among Equals). Though one must avoid in comparing it to Animal Farm and everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. Equality is having the same rights, responsibilities, and bound to the same rules as the next person

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#10
You remind me Cyndi of the first speaker in a meeting. If h/s is an influencer then the attendees tend to follow him/her, regardless whether his opinion is sound or not. Sometimes being first may lead to the "least desired results".

David Navarro LΓ³pez

David Navarro LΓ³pez

2 years ago #10

Dear Ali, my FIRST impression of this buzz, is that I agree and I don't. When it comes to THINGS, I agree that sometimes the thing is still too "green", and you need to let it "mature" When it comes to Feelings, well, I am not too sure, as they have the inception on our subconscious, which has far more information and is always active. Furthermore, we sapiens, when we descended from trees, we had to develop a capability to identify threats immediately, in order to survive. When you meet someone, and you have a bad feeling about him or her, normally you are right. We are mentally programmed for it along millennia. Maybe you recall this one https://www.slideshare.net/bicefablog/why-making-choices-based-on-intuition-can-be-successful-47455282

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #9

#8
Agreed Jean...Humility certainly does not mean we should remain passive...On the contrary, enriching our lives requires action...and at times it will be at somebody else's expense. There will be situations when we will need to speak up first and foremost, loud and clear and take decisive action in order to accomplish our goals...having humility in that process is a quiet confidence in our ability to do so...

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
There are situations being first is helpful and there is no denial for this fact . But rushing to be first may tempt us to throw ideas and products prematurely. I gave examples in the buzz and in my responses to previous comments. I wonder if people who jump to conclusions that being first may also commit the same mistake. Being first alone isn't enough; being first plus implement your idea is the required formula. Being first to open a new market is great, but if you sell an ailing product this will allow for competitions to walk in and grasp the market. I give you a metaphor. Being the first to seed a new land is great unless the seeds are of good quality. If the seeds aren't then the efforts of seeding the land shall be fruitless. A salesperson is a seed and being first is only helpful if h/s is of good quality. How many companies lost ground to a competitor who who promoted a new product for somebody else to grasp. Take Google as an example. They were not the first company to establishing this research platform and Yahoo were well before Google. Where is Yahoo now? So, being first is great, but it is not enough.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#6
I am sure that history-derived lessons are consistent with your thoughts here Cyndi wilkins. I mean ".Having a humble mindset about our capabilities will draw near to us the attributes of honor and integrity". Great and enlightening quote. Please keep enriching my mind.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #6

There is great power in humility...Having a humble mindset about our capabilities will draw near to us the attributes of honor and integrity...It is the natural law of humans to live in service to others...and the very Earth we inhabit...Greed has lead us astray...We have lost sight of what is truly important. It is time to take the blinders off and do whatever we can to repair the damage done...The first to take those steps are our true leaders. Enlightening as always Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Thank you kindly for the mention;-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#3
I don't disagree with you Zacharias \ud83d\udc1d Voulgaris though I must add that many initiators of ideas didn't come up with working products or services. Uber wasn't the first to come up with the idea of "public-private" transportation, but they were leaders in offering almost complete service. Kodak were the first to think of the electronic camera, but left the idea for others to develop. I also mentioned the zipper example in the buzz. Social media have lots of ideas that were initiated and grabbed by competitors. Yes, the formula is idea + working solution that appeals to the customer.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#2
I made a point to tag the mentioned bees in my first comment so that your comment is second Pascal Derrien. You are known for your brief comments that add lots of value. Thank you for sharing the buzz as well. Yes, it is about adding comments that add value and stir the minds of the readers.

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

I agree, though not always. It's best to try to be first at something, in terms of innovation, but to stick to it, so that you don't jump from one thing to the next, without getting some depth. It's a fine balance, in my view.

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

2 years ago #2

I think its about legitimacy in being first e.g First responders if one does not add anything to the equation there is no point a bit like me being the first to comment this article :-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Cyndi wilkins- you are mentioned in this buzz

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