Small today, but Devastating Tomorrow

Small today, but Devastating Tomorrow

I am writing this post because of what might be a small act today, but could lead to terrible effects today. A lady on a social platform wrote very incoherent comments on my post that I wrote recently. I refrained from responding, but few serious readers responded critically in a very polite manner. The lady started to respond with even less coherent comments. Apparently when we do small acts we don’t think of their long-term effect. I am trying in this post to explain the butterfly effects of small behaviors that could change the course of our lives dramatically.

Let me first visualize the common quote”

For the loss of a nail the shoe was lost.

For loss of a shoe the horse was lost.

For loss of a horse the soldier was lost

For the loss of a soldier the battle was lost.

For the loss of a battle the country was lost.

The loss of a nail grew exponentially to cause the loss of the country. The accelerated rate of the power of the feedback effect in that one loss leads to a much higher subsequent loss. I visualize this in the image below.

ade6a380.jpg

The loss of adequate human behavior is the nail that starts small, but may grow up exponentially leading to terrible results.

In a real story, the director of a firm while on his way to work read on his mobile a tweet from a young man criticizing his firm for some ill-doings. The general director of the firm could have ignored the tweet, but he opted to send the young man to court. The young man was called to the court. He was terrified as he realized he had a problem with a huge firm. How he could face the firm alone. He decided to make appeals over the internet and sending e-mails to all accessible e-mails. Patriotism kindled and many voices pooled to save the young lad from the dinosaur firm. Banked opened accounts from donators, lawyers offered their services free, medical doctors offered to treat the terrified young man for free to restore his stressed body and pharmacies donated drugs for free.

This is a linear story on paper, but the nail of a tweet resulted in the closure of the firm and in compensating the young man with huge amounts of money. So, I opted to show it visually on a graph to show the growing effect of a small act.

ef8ba4de.jpg

We may decide to write small comments that reflect improper behavior, or refrain from such acts. But we should also be aware for fear they may grow and cost us heavily. Social media has made this possible at low costs.

It is upon us to decide how we behave. We need to remember that small acts, whether good or bad, may mushroom in far greater ones.

I dedicate this post to the integrated and elevated man Ned McDonnell III, CFA PMP


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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#77
Thank you Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador I have almost finished writing the post and the dedication for you. In the dedication I call you "Franci is the euphonious voice of beBee". I failed to fins a better word that serves the fact of who you are and that you enjoy music and art. Will publish next Monday. Greetings to you.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

#76
That's amazing Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Our minds are definitely on the same page! I look forward to the article because I feel fear is our biggest hurdle. COVID-19 has heightened our fears in so many ways some of which are lessons we should learn from.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#75
I just don't believe my eyes Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. I plan to publish next Monday a new post about fear from angles that have been almost neglected or not given due attention. You quoted Jim Rohn "You've got to believe in the possibilities", In the draft I am writing I have written the following: Create possibilities by asking questions like- you noticed the word I used possibilities, Few of the questions I wrote are: -how can I evaporate fear like sun evaporates water? -how can I sweeten my fear? -what if I find a way to tame fear? -what parts fear would take away from me that I could regenerate as some animals can do by re-growing lost parts? It is synergy in action.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

"You've got to believe in the possibilities. You've got to believe that tomorrow can be better than today. And here's the big one. Believe in yourself." - Jim Rohn Each and every act from each one of us is a piece of the puzzle. Whether big or small, we must be sure our piece of the puzzle is a fit for betterment of others, as well as ourselves. Now is not the time to ignore nor is it the time to make hasty decisions.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#72
Fay Vietmeier What you ended your comment with is quite fit also for my post on Where the Pearl Is? You answered and the pearls may differ in names, but not in the content and their core value. Sorely enough- the pearl is in the spirit of paying gratitude to the Lord. Gratitude of accepting what we have and the Lord shall give us more. The gratitude in action by loving the neighbors and helping the poor and in return the Lord shall you. That is HIS promise. I shall respond to your other comments tomorrow because I can hardly open my eyes at this late hour of the night.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #50

#61
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee You are hard to keep up with my dearest Professor ;~) But I am so filled with joy that you are searching for β€œpearls” The law of sowing & reaping is of God and revealed in all Holy Scriptures β€œshow gratitude to what God offered you … then God shall give you more of what you have… Gratitude truly is a right heart-response (not whining & complaining) β€œGratitude is not only the greatest virtue … it is the parent of all other virtues” ~ Cicero You rightly say: β€œI am thinking for the value of learning” … but there is a Greater reality Where is your learning leading? What is the end goal? The β€œreal pearl” … I shared this on your post "Where is the pearl?" The β€œPearl of Great Price” … For me this is finding Christ … knowing Him more … Finding God’s purpose for my life Finding wisdom and discernment … these are β€œpearls of insight”

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#70
It is amazing what will to serve by an old man can do. This is emotionally motivating. It surprises me that an old man did more than the youth can do.

John Rylance

John Rylance

1 year ago #48

#64
Thank you for your reply. I have now read your Pearl post. I will post a comment in due course. Incidentally the 99year old's efforts have one raised over Β£7 million pounds.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#67
Yes, and I accept your comment as an integral part of this post Roberto De la Cruz Utria

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#65
Dear Roberto De la Cruz Utria Reading your very thorough and thoughtful comment make me happy that I published to day my newest post "Where Is the Pearl" https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/where-is-the-pearl#c3 I am sure you shall be surprised by the agreement between your comment here and my new post. This is truly amazing as if I wrote this post in response to your valuable comment. The examples you cite are spot on. Well done my friend.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#62
John Rylance you shocked me with your outstanding comment and powerful example. You wrote "A truly sparkling pearl to lighten up a bleak world". I am shocked because you mentioned pearls in your comment. I am right now uploading a new post titled "Where the Pearl Is"?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

LinkedIn has just informed me that Ali Anani, PhD’S Congrats, your post has been trending in #visualization View hashtag Thanks to all readers who created this trend.

John Rylance

John Rylance

1 year ago #43

The oyster for current pearls is the Internet and social media. In the UK a 99 year old war veteran decided to raise money for the NHS (National Health Service) by doing 100 circuits of the garden where he lives, before his 100th birthday at the end of the month. He hoped to raise a few thousand pounds. Yesterday he had by doing a few circuits each day reached 70 circuits. A feat in itself. He has so far because the news had spread online raised over 3 million pounds. A fantastic example of small yesterday epic today. I feel humble just thinking about it all. A truly sparkling pearl to lighten up a bleak world.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#60
Dear Fay Vietmeier Thank you. I am glad I found the spiritual power in the drawbacks law. In Moslems' holy book it states that if you show gratitude to what God offered you then God shall give you more of what you have. if you be thankful I will give you more If we show gratitude to what god has blessed us with no matter how little God shall give more. Likewise; if we don't complain about testing our endurance then God shall make us come out stronger. In recent days, those countries that they thought they are immune of the virus turned out to be the most vulnerable. You see you make me think. ANd I am still trying to find the pearl.Not because I want the pearl out of greed, but out of trying to learn. So, God may honor me being a more of a genuine learner. The materialistic think of the value of the pearl; I am thinking for the value of learning. Let me search and if I even don't find the pearl I get rewarded with being more of an antifragile learner. How do you find this? The more I differ with you, the more we both learn. This is the real pearl and not the pearl itself.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #41

#59
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee As I enjoy the way we open "oysters" ... in the bebee Cafe ... in hopes of finding genuine pearls ;~) I learn from you as well my dear Professor ;~)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#58
DEar Fay Vietmeier You are the proof of what I said earlier that differences should strengthen and clarify our understanding. I see the proof in the exchange of comments with you. Differences are varieties and their spices may taste great or bitter depending on how we deal with them. To make them bitter is easy because it is scattering and scattering of light is easier than focusing it. I am enjoying the discussions with you and I am glad to be a student of you.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #39

#57
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee "putting it in the back ... so the magnification is improved" That reminded me of humility "the first shall be last" Life is a learning journey ... how blessed to be student-minded ... even a "master learner"

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#56
Fay Vietmeier The pearl in one law (if any) when combined with another law and I mean The Reverse Magnification Law may reveal a totally different picture. In cameras they reverse a lens by putting it in the back so that the magnification is improved. I am now putting a lens backward and comparing the two laws and how they reflect on each other. Truly, life is a learning journey my dear friend.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #37

#55
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee "excite the muscles of my mind" ... mind-stirring now that has more allure than "provoke" Dearest Professor ... I know that you do not go around "ruffling bee-wings" ... with any negative intent Mutual respect and learning is what you practice ... for truly you are an "ambassador" ... that is why you SHINE on beBee Javier \ud83d\udc1d CR We share being open-minded to different views ... that is what "pearl-seekers" do ;~ And yes: "opening a conversation is precisely like opening an oyster ... with anticipation of finding the valuable insights: "pearls" I know the "law" was not your invention: you decide whether to include it ... don't consider this bee ;~)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#54
My DEAR Fay Vietmeier In no way I meant provoke in a bad sense. I meant to excite the muscles of your mind and make them alert. It isn't me who provoke for ill-intentions. I am deeply sorry if I ruffled your wings when I meant to smooth them and get them read for a flight and NOT a fight. It is a law and I didn't invent it. Somebody else did. We have the right to validate it or not. I am open=minded to different views. The oyster of differences and disagreement might be hiding the pearl inside. I don't own the law to protect it, but only to discuss it. I might even not to cause any harm feelings take this law out of my next post. I want to buzz understandings and mutual respect and learning and not conflicts or misunderstandings. With all my due respect to you the welll-spring spirit.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #35

#51
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee my dear Professor ... your did not answer: I hope I'm not that "lady" (you referenced earlier) You may have ruffled my bee-wings a bit ... not used to that from you ;~) for I'm a most sensitive bee ;~) Words can be more than words ... I would hope never to "provoke" someone Provoke: deliberately make (someone) annoyed or angry. Banter is what I enjoy ... "opening the oyster of conversation" ... hoping to find a "pearl" You say: "I also know well it isn't easy to "swallow" this law, or if it is universal and to what degree. At least, it works in some areas in my life. So, I shall take the challenge upon myself and write the post. I am starting to have The Drafts File Syndrome as well." ... I won't swallow any "laws" that are not Truth or "rightly ordered ;~) putting "laws" or words on paper does not mean they are truth ;~) ...the drafts file "syndrome" is funny ;~)

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #34

#48
Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado Your words always reflect that you think deeply Oswaldo ... I appreciate that quality in you as I'm sure do many others ... especially those close to you who are blessed by your good qualities ;~) Everything is a sowing and reaping ... "God is not mocked" Many can hide their heart intentions from other people ... but from God, the heart can not be hidden Your comments about "evil" reminded me of this post: Where there is an evil will ... there is an evil way https://www.bebee.com/producer/@fay-vietmeier-pennsylvania/where-there-is-an-evil-will-there-is-an-evil-way

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#48
Dear Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado I like this expression "...the flame of words; without control they burn and burn for no reason".

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#49
Fay Vietmeier I knew that statement would provoke you. I know the challenge I am in, but I am not also the initiator of The Backwards Law. I shall take the challenge because it is worthy. I enjoy having differences with great spirits like yours for it is a good way to squeeze the juice out. I also know well it isn't easy to "swallow" this law, or if it is universal and to what degree. At least, it works in some areas in my life. So, I shall take the challenge upon myself and write the post. I am starting to have The Drafts File Syndrome as well. Yes, anger and any feeling is good if it falls within its sweet zone. It is when anger feed anger and spiraling anger results that things get out of control because of what we call the positive feedback loop. This also I shall discuss in my next post. Just an example crossed my mind on the Law of Drawbacks. If a person (and there are real life examples) chases a lady trying to get her attention, the more like she will distant herself from him. Maybe she feels is available and she could accept him any time, if needed.Or, she may find him a man who has no dignity or other reasons.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #31

#46
Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado You are ever the poet Oswaldo ;~) You paint such a beautiful picture: "From the garden of hopes flourishes the beautiful, the kind, the just, the noble, the whole; a place where we learn to see, to feel, to verify, to be part of that wonderful place: everything is due to its source of the Holy Spirit ... With deep gratitude "Faithful Recognition with Faith" in and towards feelings, words, actions; today rewarded with great encouragement from "Family Love", unleashed in all humanity from the source (Our source) in God among us." "God is LOVE" If our hearts are toward Him ... if we believe ... we receive the gift of His Spirit "God in us ... the hope of glory"

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #30

#45
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee β€œthe backwards law”—it is the more somebody pursues a feeling such as anger, the more angry she/he become and the less satisfied he shall be all the time.” Anger can be a healthy response … or NOT Some "anger" is righteous Anger can affect health & attitudes For our benefit we are encouraged: β€œDon’t give in to worry or anger, it only leads to trouble.” ~ Psalm 37 Unresolved anger can become bitterness 2) I’m do not understand what … or perhaps how you are stating this: (I hope I’m not this β€œlady” ;~) β€œThe more a lady focuses on being spiritual, the less spiritual she becomes because what in essence she does is that she admits not having the spiritual power. The feelings of deprivation of this power inflames the drawback effect. This is a huge paradox- the more of something good we want, the less we have it.” We are encouraged to β€œsow to the spirit” … this is of the heart … it is Spirit to spirit β€œGod is not mocked” … he looks at the heart … he knows the intents of the heart (genuine or not genuine) β€œa man reaps what he sows” 3) It will be interesting … how you unfold the β€œbackwards law”

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#46
Fay Vietmeier The previous comment is addressed to you

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#40
Dear Fay Vietmeier Amazing your comment is because it is the topic of my next post. In fact, I intend to mention one or two ideas regarding the spiritual power that you have. I am going to discuss the wrong practices of anger and how they inflame it rather than tame it. Pf particular interest to you is the reference I am going to make to the law of β€œthe backwards law”—it is the more somebody pursues a feeling such as anger, the more angry she/he become and the less satisfied he shall be.all the time. The more a lady focuses on being spiritual, the less spiritual she becomes because what in essence she does is that she admits not having the spiritual power. The feelings of deprivation of this power inflames the drawback effect. This is a huge paradox- the more of something good we want, the less we have it. I am just getting you prepared for a new spiral of discussions.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#39
This is exactly what power curve law mean dear Fay Vietmeier

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#36
Thank you for your scientific contribution about the virus Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#35
Dear Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado Yes, small actions when combined can produce a butterfly effect far more than the sum of those small effect. This is in accordance with what you mentioned that great advances from small contributions and I point out: From my words / opinions, all value to the knowledge that we can conclude, its possible interpretative relationship that urges the intuition that we have

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

1 year ago #24

#40
And to add to that, how we may judge someone whose actions we disapprove of as showcased in this story by Jay Shetty https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5E8gyDPs70

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #23

#18
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee I love the quote you chose ... it was PERFECT to illustrate your point And the mention about a tiny match ... having the ability to burn down a forest ... even start a wildfire that could destroy hundreds or thousands of acres I did not read the comments that started this "fire" ... it is nice that people came around you and were supportive I can can relate to the experience that few words can become much more than "words" ... quietly burn like an ember ... silent wounds Good point that CityVP Manjit made ... what might a person be dealing with that causes them to react or respond in a hurtful, detracting way If we are mindful ... thoughtful and aware ... there are probably no "small things"

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #22

CityVP Manjit As I read Ali's post tipping points came to my mind ... and avalanches (quick & unexpected effect) Great examples you give ... and well articulated: "the difference between a crack and a canyon is time. That demonstrates the power of erosion. It can take just one small thing to. In the shorter time frames of unintended escalation, we should recognize that tipping points do exist. In a short-term window the power of erosion (slow effects) is replaced with the power of avalanche. (quick effects).

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #21

#1
Harvey Lloyd You are such a reasoned & sensible "bee" Harvey "review the axiom of revenge, dig two graves" ... so true There should be a course taught beginning in grade school and continuing all through LIFE "Be the master of you" ... consider how thinking ... words ... actions ... impact others

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#35
True and I like your expression dear Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado oriented sense "Dr. Ali Anani as the ORIENTED SENSE well establishes / would establish: If the seed grows within the virus, the pathogen will have a new experimental combination".

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Dear Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado Thank you for your comment addressed to me and my friend Jerry Fletcher What you wrote about a new sacred seed acclaimed by all: Its name, its form, its reason, its purpose, its oriented sense, in short its existence will be / would be cited in what already exists among us and for all in existence (Family love) is interesting. If we consider the corona virus as a seed I would what pants it shall produce in the long run.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
Thank you my friend Jerry. In fact, the situation here is not too bad with daily cases reaching a maximum of 23 cases. Yesterday, zero cases, but today we have 9 cases. The total cases is close to 300.Jordan adopted strictly early measures to contain the virus. WE are all well. I wish you the same and your beloved ones as well. I enjoyed your post and commented on it.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

1 year ago #17

#21
Dr. Ali, I always appreciate your thoughts. I hope you and yours are comfortably sheltering in place. I sense that like me interactions in person with other people is a significant factor in your life and it is sorely missed.And so it goes

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#20
Thank you dear Jerry Fletcher for your sharing the lovely example and making us ponder on the question that you ask. I am thinking because I am positively provoked.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

1 year ago #15

Dr. Ali, Great things do, indeed, arise from small beginnings. Your use of the mushroom analogy reminds me of a story I recall about the largest plant on the planet, a single quaking aspen in Utah which covers 43 hectares and is said to be 80,000 years old. Back before man walked that part of the earth a single seed germinated. Today it appears to be lots of trees but it has only one root system. The question is, "What seeds will take root in this pandemic and change the path to the future?" And so it goes.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#17
CityVP ManjitThank you for your enriching comment. Your comments explains elegantly the exponential curves I embedded in the body of the post. Things start slowly first, This is followed by a rapid growth taking the system to its tipping point and disruption occurs. If we replace the nail in the example in the post with the crack n a wall we may apply the same logic and suddenly have the grand canyon. The reverse is true for positive actions instead of crack we start with a small act of garbage collection. Suddenly, we have rapid collections of tons of garbage. As for the woman, unfortunately it wasn't the first or second crack for q while.I responded politely to her comments, but then few readers got frustrated and responded to her.That antagonized her and she started making incoherent and agitating comments. A fire would soon start from the from the burning of one match. I thank you Manjit for your comment gave me the opportunity to elaborate.

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

1 year ago #13

The difference between a crack and a canyon is time. That demonstrates the power of erosion. It can take just one small thing to. In the shorter time frames of unintended escalation, we should recognize that tipping points do exist. In a short-term window the power of erosion (slow effects) is replaced with the power of avalanche. (quick effects). We should be cognizant of black swan events being caused by very tiny initial actions. The reverse viewpoint is what I focus on, which is why I introduced Sam Demma to the LinkedIn post because that young man chose to pick up garbage, ending in an initiative he called "PickWaste" and by the end of a year they had picked tonnes of garbage - all based on small initial actions. In the case of the behaviour of the incoherent woman, we do not know what pressures have befell any single individual in our infected environment. The effects of confinement can either be like erosion, mentally eroding our resilience, or like a psychological avalanche where fear becomes the initial snowball. We need to keep an open mind as to what is behind any person's irrational behaviour. At a time like this, these small things matter in their own right. How does one person end up looking so lucky and another person gets hit with unluck. These are the tiny inches are well explained by Al Pacino in his inches speech in the film "Any Given Sunday" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b7bgtu2O4E

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Harvey Lloyd "...flash answers lead to immediate aggression or defense" Just had to pull that out because it's so true. I am becoming more and more disillusioned over our species' inability to brain-storm or think critically. I do realize we've been profoundly conditioned to go to one corner or the other corner--to take sides, so to speak. But people seem to be unable to look at the many facets that go into any one subject. It's as if people think a plug can be pulled on 1 thing and everything else will simply fix itself. I guess no one does the domino thing anymore--or pick-up-sticks--where pulling out just one stick can wreak total disaster--even if that stick has any bad characteristic. We have been so very bullied into thinking dichotomously. Damn--I'm glad I'm old.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#11
Dear Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado Thank you for reminding us of the oriented sense as their actions are proportional to the use of SUBJECTIVITY, which perfectly describes that OBJECTIVITY works in their favor when it is required as (Double Identity).

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#9
Keep well my friend

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

#8
Well, home is where the heart is and right now my heart is here :-) Thank you for your concern though. I reshare any post that adds value to the feeds of the bees in my network. It's an honor to have something like this to share with them. Once I resolve my current situation, I'll be writing more for beBee. Cheers!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#7
Thank you my good and spirited friend Zacharias \ud83d\udc1d Voulgaris. I am sure you can cover the topic from another angle. I hope you are doing OK away from home. The internet is still slow. I hope this issue will be resolved soon. I thank you also for your reshare of the post.

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

This is very important. I was planning to write something similar these days, from an independent source of inspiration, but Ali got to it first. Please take this to heart as it's crucial especially nowadays. Cheers!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#5
Thank you Paul Walters. I wonder where your about now. Be safe and good.

Paul Walters

Paul Walters

1 year ago #5

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee Bravo Sir...well said

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Harvey Lloyd Another great story that reveals the value of asking the right question. This is a dimension that we tend to forget when we act hastily. You reminded me of a supplier of solar water heaters. A customer bought one from this supplier. Apparently, the pipes used weren't of good quality for as it was very hot day the pipes explodes and the hot water from the heater flooded filled house. The manufacturer refused to compensate the customer and I am sure failed to ask him what he wanted. The customer took shots of his house being flooded with water and the exploded pipes warning others from purchasing water solar heaters from him. Apparently, the problem was on a much larger scale than just one customer. Those customers decided to meet and went to the court making a collective claim. They were all compensated and the manufacturer lost his reputation and his business. Had the manufacturer asked the initial customer about his needs he would have survived. I go all the away in approval of your comment.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#1
Harvey Lloyd Your comment is so accomplished that adding to it may just lead to distortion it. It is like a painter correcting a great paint by another painter only to deform it. I loved the way you analyzed the bifurcation of the two decisions. At the node of a decision we might go this direction or that. To put in your words "you want to defend your pride or win the game". As people tend to be first-cost minded they may lean to the wrong decision. and this led to the "In the case of your story, the defense of pride was won, but he lost everything else". This is the first reaction, but the cost of which may escalate beyond limits.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

1 year ago #2

There was a negotiator, Roger Dawson, of the 90's era who told the story of a couple that brought a wood stove from Sears. They installed the stove and upon using it, they opened the doors and hot coals rolled on to their carpet. Burning several small areas and melting the fibers. The couple brought their complaint to local managers to no avail. The local store bumped the compliant to regional management and they called in the negotiator, not wanting to get national headquarters involved. The first question the negotiator asked, what does the couple want? Out of all of the high paid managers no one thought to ask that question. The negotiator went to the home reviewed the damage and asked the couple what they wanted. They said a throw rug or decorative hearth piece would cover the burnt spots. The negotiator brought them to the local store had the couple pick out something they liked and told the manager it was a gift from Sears. He told the story much better than i. Sometimes the obvious question is the most elusive as we look at negative feedback. What is quite obvious is the monkey brains inability to distinguish between winning in life and protecting pride. In most cases these two items are mutually exclusive.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

1 year ago #1

In you real story it demonstrates the flash answers we sometimes resort too. We have discussed on previous posts the need for axiomatic responses when the flash answers lead to immediate aggression or defense. Our monkey brain wants us to always resort to survival first. Then deal with the human dynamic of the situation. Unless the house is on fire then one has time to consider their choice matrix. I find the axiom, Love your neighbor, as the best fit when dealing with negative feedback or crisis. How can i respond to the situation without destroying but engaging and empowering both sides? This is not always easy and sometimes the individual who has laid down the gauntlet of baseless feedback doesn't deserve the axiom. But your decision is to be right or to win. These are two opposing paradigms in some settings. If you set out to prove someone else wrong and truly believe through proving this you will win, then i would suggest we review the axiom of revenge, dig two graves. Most detractors will bury themselves if you practice the axiom of love your neighbor. Its grueling while you go through it, but you must determine if you want to defend your pride or win the game. In the case of your story, the defense of pride was won, but he lost everything else.

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