Spontaneity in Human Relationship
I love to write about ideas that create spontaneity in my mind. The writing of such ideas requires minimum amount of energy and they flow naturally like waters of a waterfall. The writing of this buzz is a spontaneous process which resulted from a tag by Fatima G. Williams on an article on LinkedIn shared by Harmeet RPR, RPT revealing a beautiful Spanish Proverb that says "he, who gets close to a good tree, will have a good shade". Interpretation: If you associate with good people, good things will happen to you. Spanish Proverb Contributor: Roberto Wanton, August 1999. This is a spontaneous process. Like you get the shade of a tree, se you may get the shade of people, of networks and of memories.
Spontaneity and Natural Drive
To become spontaneous means a natural drive to happen. Take ice for example, it melts spontaneously at zero degrees Celsius. No surprises the same process shall recur. When two "solid" humans meet they may form spontaneous relationship between them. For that to happen they must "melt" in each other as if the two humans were two cubes of ice. They both lose self-identity to form a new "electromagnetic love" identity. Amazingly, in ice molecules don't move freely as they do in waters resulting from the melting of ice. This brings the spontaneity of a new definition of love and strong bonding between two people.
Love is the force that makes us lose part of our authenticity and order to have more freedom of movement. True love melts two hearts together and makes their movement easier and more homogeneous.
Ali Anani, PhD
The above discussions bring me back to my comment addressed to Sara Jacobovici in which I wrote “Salt and water ice are two distinct bodies. Add them together the salt affects the properties of the ice changes such as its melting gets lowered up to -12 Celsius degrees, depending on the amount of salt added. There is no feedback effect in this example and still the authenticity of ice changes. When we "add" men to men they aren't the same as they were before. To what degree they change. Physically, they are the same; emotionally and spiritually they aren't. The more they dissolve in each other, the greater the change is while still keeping the same physical shapes". Sara responded in a buzz by writing " This description led me to respond by saying that, if we look at beliefs, a uniquely human phenomenon that is influenced by and influences the triadic relationship of will, choice and intention, and how beliefs can potentially change from subjective to objective, we can see beliefs, as the ice, change. The more the subjective "dissolves" into the objective, "the greater the change", while we still keep our same physical shape".
The above exchange of comments brought me a new spontaneous idea. It is about adding salt to ice and adding salty experiences to human relations. Adding salt will restrict the movement of molecules of water and shall eventually result in lowering the melting point of ice or its freezing. Sugar doesn't do the same. It is salty experiences that restrict our movement, which was the main gain we had when we melted in each other.
One type of salt that we add to relationship is for one party to start feeling superior to the partner. This shall constrain relationship and negatively affect future communications. For a partner to feel superior there must be a partner who feels inferior. This creates tension and contaminates the waters of relationship. This is a core problem of human relations that starts as pure as pure melted ice cubes, but then contaminating the waters with doubt and negative actions that reverse the direction from melting into one body to freezing into two separate identities.
We may judge the strength of human bonding by the quality of communications the bonded humans have
Ali Anani, PhD
I wanted to cover spontaneity on beBee platform and how affinity hives are like melting pots, but the buzz got too long to discuss this part for now.
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التعليقات
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #49
I appreciate greatly your wisdom and expressing your thoughts. Thank you David Frank Gomesank
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #48
You sweetened my return home just less than an hour ago by your sweet comment dear .
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 6 سنوات #47
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #46
I concur fully with your comment and I approve it in its entity. Thank you so much for your appreciation
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #45
Now you bring back some memories of not just childhood but the lost years of exploration. Reaching never land through chemicals in search of the mad hatter. Ahhhhh the days of old when knights were bold. The lead solo was a classic, you could almost hear it talking.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #44
Very true. Once lost we chase it for the rest of our life. I am a neil Young fan also. I plugged the song in after reading your comment.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #43
Thank you Paul \ for your support and appreciation. I have just tweeted the buzz and I am grateful to you. Yes, many commenters don't tick the like, but they make repeated comments. I believe the comment is more enriching for them. Also, some bees tick the like button, but don't comment. A third point is that the comments count the authors' responses. So, the number of comments might be well-over the likes sometimes.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #42
Thank you for all your kind words dear namita sinha you are turning into a "mind-troubler". The idea of writing a buzz on "Cathartic effect" started to play music in my mind.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #41
"This is true for all relations – initial spontaneity and being vulnerable –and then letting our curiosity take the better of us as we unravel further..". You said it beautifully my dear namita sinha. I agree and wonderment coupled with curiosity have a synergetic effect. You can build on this and expand it into a great buzz, or even book. I shal not be able to contribute more buzzes for the next twelve days because I am traveling tomorrow noon. But I shall write the buzz upon my return. Here, I live spontaneity and many times I started writing a buzz then a bee such as the wonderful mind Sara Jacobovici makes a comment that pulls me to its attractor of wonderment and curiosity and I find myself swimming in different waters. This is my I address Sara sometimes as my mind-troubler
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #40
We all have been also lucky enough dear namita sinha to stop by and make your two great comments. It is enough reward for all of us what you have written "As humans, we all have , albeit to different degrees the ability to really feel the other persons emotional energy, or vibes….and this knowledge if used spontaneously is all about honouring our instincts". You are truly a great thinker my friend.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #39
Dea Sara Jacobovici- I was just thinking on same. If I start with a buzz of mine to which inspired you to write a buzz on it and then you write a buzz on my buzz and the chain grows. I think we have a great example of "Natural polymeric ideas" to show for. I hope you publish before tomorrow noon; otherwise I have to wait for almost 12 days before I can respond.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #38
:Risk is something that must be measured and can only be measured by the options we find around the risk". Very powerful and valid thought Harvey Lloyd.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #37
Thank you my friend Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman. You bring a hugely interesting point for me at least. SOme topics in life require us to be "wishy-washy". When we have insufficient data, complex systems wherein a small change might yield an unexpected effect and other cases what to do? How we be decisive? That is why I loved your point "I feel a lot of great music is spontaneous" You leave me with so many points to ponder on.
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 6 سنوات #36
#43 namita sinha, thank you for your kind words. I am glad that I read your comments in time to include in my contribution to this dynamic discussion.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #35
Lisa Vanderburg you wrote "spontaneity is also youthfully instinctive". What a powerful and beautiful mind you have! You are one of the great gems I got to now.
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 6 سنوات #34
#33 #34 #38 #39 #40 Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, for expanding my thinking.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #33
"If we don't attach action to the process, are we not living life to its fullest or are we making wise decisions by not being too risky?" This is the true question that spawned my comment. Risk is something that must be measured and can only be measured by the options we find around the risk. If we bring baggage to spontaneity then we will limit our options. Wandering around in Alice's wonderland will not change the risk but may offer options around it Great question and truly shows the mind of a thinker. Sometimes the mad hatter is smarter than we give credit.
Lisa Vanderburg
منذ 6 سنوات #32
& #33 I would be so bold as to add to yours Sara Jacobovici from Harvey's comments that spontaneity is also youthfully instinctive. As an adult, intuition damps down spontaneity, and most often for good reason! You wouldn't throw yourself off a bridge unless you were sure of the bungee instructor/straps (or you were 'high')! Spontaneous impulsive abandonment is deliciously inviting, but it's a sport best done alone in my case :) But I do long for the wild freedom of it....
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #31
Is their better than a serious comment that is written in a poetic way? You have done it with great insights, wisdom and words that sing dear Lisa Vanderburg. Just look at the beauty of your philosophy "Brackish will fester the wounds. Pure will clean". With such simple words you removed lots of complexities in our lives. Your reference that we float in salty waters easier than sweet waters is a great reminder that salts have positive values in our lives. You are an exceptional and positive human Lisa.
Lisa Vanderburg
منذ 6 سنوات #30
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #29
Dear Harvey Lloyd and myself were discussing in our earlier comments on this buzz. You wrote "Visiting spontaneity doesn't mean action, but rather exploration before action". For me you defined a new definition for pause that is exploration before action. I love this idea and for me this is a true gift. What you described about my search is best that I can describe myself. Believe me I feel you know me better than I do.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #28
Spontaneity is the nature of the mind. The trees and wildlife along with all we see in nature can be found in our mind when we become spontaneous in designing our way forward. Visiting spontaneity doesn't mean action, but rather exploration before action. So many want to attach action to the process. No action, no rules no conclusions, only exploration. You can choose when you get back. Your posts are refreshing, as i see you are digging around in the back alleys of our consciousness trying to find the rare breed of nature, humanness. Clearly this can only be found if we spontaneously look for clues of its existence. Not sure we will find it but the view and search is awesome. (Good luck in Turkey.)
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #27
I really would dear Sara Jacobovici. However; I want to record my same experience s outlined in your comment "Some of our most successful ideas came from this open crazy dialogue". The fact that many of my buzzes resulted from dialogues on this platform where I found spontaneity urging me to write is the proof.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #26
Spontaneity does come in many forms i guess. My focus was on the spontaneity of immersing yourself in problem solving or seeking new areas of growth. Dragging old "thinking" along is like cutting your legs off on the start line. In seeking this kind of dialogue i will start meetings with If i had a million dollars to solve, grow or face the issue or event or twenty people? It takes a few kicks of the ball to get folks out of their job description and free dialogue from spontaneity. Some of our most successful ideas came from this open crazy dialogue. Fixing issues from an agenda of facts really limits the engagement of the free floating mind. Time is usually arbiter of the spontaneity injection. If we have time then this what we do, always. If no time, then its command and control as action is what is needed. Me being me (INTJ) though i go back and figure out why i didn't see it coming soon enough to solve the issue at hand, from a more creative perspective.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #25
Dear Sara Jacobovici- let me start from where you ended. You wrote "The third part is the influence the thinking and judgment, the doubt and negativity, have on the quality of our spontaneity. Just because we're being spontaneous, does not assume its quality". I couldn't agree more with you. You remind me of viciously explosive spontaneous reactions and of good and peaceful" spontaneous chemical reactions. Yes, it depends with what we start with. As for your two paradoxes- first with being spontaneous within a bias. This is a new paradox for me and even qualifies you more as what I called you "The Queen of Paradoxes" My initial response would be it depends on the boundary and how much room it allows for movement. If the boundary makes very little space then spontaneity may be restricted to the extent that it is no more spontaneous. To be continued later as I have guests now
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 6 سنوات #24
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #23
I shall wait for Part/ 2 before I respond Sara Jacobovici. Great, as I have a pause time to digest your two intriguing paradoxes.
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 6 سنوات #22
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #21
Thank you Sara Jacobovici for your response. Sometimes a pause can be very short so it sounds spontaneous.
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 6 سنوات #20
Thanks Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee's comment. I agree with you Dr. Ali when you say that with spontaneity there is no pause to think. If we "act" spontaneously, we are "doing" something in the moment without "thinking" about it. It can indeed feel liberating as Harvey points out.
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 6 سنوات #19
Spoken like a true poet debasish majumder.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #18
I shall give you a rest of my buzzes for 12 days dear Tausif Mundrawala as I shall be travelling. I hope to collect some wisdom to share with you afterwards. Keep well and thanks for your very kind words.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #17
Your wisdom is growing exponentially Tausif Mundrawala. This is best reflected in your writing "One being superior and the other being inferior won't work out as that would create two separate identities". We could be like water and milk or like water and fatty materials. In the first case the are miscible in each other. In contrast, the other will leave two separate layers. The day we believe we know it is the day that we stop growing. Plants that stop growing die. We are the same.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #16
Your wisdom is growing exponentially Tausif Mundrawala. This is best reflected in your writing "One being superior and the other being inferior won't work out as that would create two separate identities". We could be like water and milk or like water and fatty materials. In the first case the are miscible in each other. In contrast, the other will leave two separate layers. The day we believe we know it is the day that we stop growing. Plants that stop growing die. We are the same.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #15
You deserve DEAR debasish majumder and more. You have the mind of a chemist and the heart of a poet.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #14
:)))
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
منذ 6 سنوات #13
Turkey Wow. Have an amazing trip dear Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee You deserve a trip around the whole world :)
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #12
You know what excites me dear and I couldn't resist writing this buzz even though I am preparing for a trip to Turkey on Friday noon. I wrote this buzz with the feelings of spontaneity and I thank you for the tag. As for your amendment I agree with you for one simple reason. This is exactly what I feel in my communications with you. You are a superb human.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #11
It is amazing how we remember basic things from our grandchildren. No wonder children explore, enjoy more and thrive more even on little successes. Yes, I share your sadness and I feel the same as what you feel. Joy + Creativity come from spontaneity with very little effort. When we grow up we do great effort with little joy.
🐝 Fatima G. Williams
منذ 6 سنوات #10
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #9
Sadly this concept is stripped from us during our youth. The first bike ride and the overcoming of fears to enjoy the spontaneity of the joy of balance or the joy of meeting new friends to play and what they brought to our spontaneity. Somehow in our "growing up" it all gets a little too serious. My age now has me reminiscing about my youth and the surging of joy that was constantly a part of the youthful experience. My grandchildren are now showing me the way back to the life where seriousness is replaced with spontaneity.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #8
You are very wise dear Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Even alternating between between opposites such as kind and mean may draw more energies from us. We need supportive relationships and this is the best natural vaccine. I am therefore in total agreement with your writing "But when we share respect for one another and share our power with one another...". Instead of dissipating our energy we this way focus it to reinforcing spontaneity and making it stay longer. Whenever we raise the temperature of our relationships using negative approaches such as anger and envity we are in actuality encouraging entropy (disorder) in our lives. Heating up things can bring the opposite effect.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #7
Thank you Harvey Lloyd may not agree with me on this). The tree doesn't think where it shall land its shadow and this is the beauty of its journey of "joy and surprises". I wonder of commenters would had their experiences on how they felt when they acted spontaneously! How the feelings changed over time? I sure you experienced this, Harvey.
Harvey Lloyd
منذ 6 سنوات #6
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #5
One question that comes to my mind dear debasish majumder is why you didn't study chemistry? You are a philosopher of chemistry and extending its bonding to life bonding. Love may reach a slavery stage where feelings of obsession becomes overwhelming. Like two atoms reacting, but breaking their bond or replacing one atom by another becomes extremely difficult. In all cases love isn't inert.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #4
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
منذ 6 سنوات #3
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #2
I wan highlighting Fatimas' nema and mistakenly pasted to the title page. This is why I call "sweet mistake". Anyways, is mentioned in the post.
Ali Anani
منذ 6 سنوات #1