Spontaneity in Human Relationship

Spontaneity in Human Relationship

I love to write about ideas that create spontaneity in my mind. The writing of such ideas requires minimum amount of energy and they flow naturally like waters of a waterfall. The writing of this buzz is a spontaneous process which resulted from a tag by Fatima G. Williams on an article on LinkedIn shared by Harmeet RPR, RPT revealing a beautiful Spanish Proverb that says "he, who gets close to a good tree, will have a good shade". Interpretation: If you associate with good people, good things will happen to you. Spanish Proverb Contributor: Roberto Wanton, August 1999. This is a spontaneous process. Like you get the shade of a tree, se you may get the shade of people, of networks and of memories.

Spontaneity and Natural Drive

To become spontaneous means a natural drive to happen. Take ice for example, it melts spontaneously at zero degrees Celsius. No surprises the same process shall recur. When two "solid" humans meet they may form spontaneous relationship between them. For that to happen they must "melt" in each other as if the two humans were two cubes of ice. They both lose self-identity to form a new "electromagnetic love" identity. Amazingly, in ice molecules don't move freely as they do in waters resulting from the melting of ice. This brings the spontaneity of a new definition of love and strong bonding between two people.

Love is the force that makes us lose part of our authenticity and order to have more freedom of movement. True love melts two hearts together and makes their movement easier and more homogeneous.
Ali Anani, PhD

The above discussions bring me back to my comment addressed to Sara Jacobovici in which I wrote β€œSalt and water ice are two distinct bodies. Add them together the salt affects the properties of the ice changes such as its melting gets lowered up to -12 Celsius degrees, depending on the amount of salt added. There is no feedback effect in this example and still the authenticity of ice changes. When we "add" men to men they aren't the same as they were before. To what degree they change. Physically, they are the same; emotionally and spiritually they aren't. The more they dissolve in each other, the greater the change is while still keeping the same physical shapes". Sara responded in a buzz by writing " This description led me to respond by saying that, if we look at beliefs, a uniquely human phenomenon that is influenced by and influences the triadic relationship of will, choice and intention, and how beliefs can potentially change from subjective to objective, we can see beliefs, as the ice, change. The more the subjective "dissolves" into the objective, "the greater the change", while we still keep our same physical shape".

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The above exchange of comments brought me a new spontaneous idea. It is about adding salt to ice and adding salty experiences to human relations. Adding salt will restrict the movement of molecules of water and shall eventually result in lowering the melting point of ice or its freezing. Sugar doesn't do the same. It is salty experiences that restrict our movement, which was the main gain we had when we melted in each other.

One type of salt that we add to relationship is for one party to start feeling superior to the partner. This shall constrain relationship and negatively affect future communications. For a partner to feel superior there must be a partner who feels inferior. This creates tension and contaminates the waters of relationship. This is a core problem of human relations that starts as pure as pure melted ice cubes, but then contaminating the waters with doubt and negative actions that reverse the direction from melting into one body to freezing into two separate identities.

We may judge the strength of human bonding by the quality of communications the bonded humans have
Ali Anani, PhD

I wanted to cover spontaneity on beBee platform and how affinity hives are like melting pots, but the buzz got too long to discuss this part for now.


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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#68
I appreciate greatly your wisdom and expressing your thoughts. Thank you David Frank Gomesank

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#66
You sweetened my return home just less than an hour ago by your sweet comment dear .

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #48

Harvey Lloyd. I wrote something on spontaneity inspired by your great discussion. I know it can't do your exchange justice, but at least a small contribution. Thanks. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@sara-jacobovici/part-three-you-can-take-science-out-of-philosophy-but

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#58
I concur fully with your comment and I approve it in its entity. Thank you so much for your appreciation

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #46

#61
Now you bring back some memories of not just childhood but the lost years of exploration. Reaching never land through chemicals in search of the mad hatter. Ahhhhh the days of old when knights were bold. The lead solo was a classic, you could almost hear it talking.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #45

#57
Very true. Once lost we chase it for the rest of our life. I am a neil Young fan also. I plugged the song in after reading your comment.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#55
Thank you Paul \ for your support and appreciation. I have just tweeted the buzz and I am grateful to you. Yes, many commenters don't tick the like, but they make repeated comments. I believe the comment is more enriching for them. Also, some bees tick the like button, but don't comment. A third point is that the comments count the authors' responses. So, the number of comments might be well-over the likes sometimes.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#51
Thank you for all your kind words dear namita sinha you are turning into a "mind-troubler". The idea of writing a buzz on "Cathartic effect" started to play music in my mind.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#43
"This is true for all relations – initial spontaneity and being vulnerable –and then letting our curiosity take the better of us as we unravel further..". You said it beautifully my dear namita sinha. I agree and wonderment coupled with curiosity have a synergetic effect. You can build on this and expand it into a great buzz, or even book. I shal not be able to contribute more buzzes for the next twelve days because I am traveling tomorrow noon. But I shall write the buzz upon my return. Here, I live spontaneity and many times I started writing a buzz then a bee such as the wonderful mind Sara Jacobovici makes a comment that pulls me to its attractor of wonderment and curiosity and I find myself swimming in different waters. This is my I address Sara sometimes as my mind-troubler

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#42
We all have been also lucky enough dear namita sinha to stop by and make your two great comments. It is enough reward for all of us what you have written "As humans, we all have , albeit to different degrees the ability to really feel the other persons emotional energy, or vibes….and this knowledge if used spontaneously is all about honouring our instincts". You are truly a great thinker my friend.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#41
Dea Sara Jacobovici- I was just thinking on same. If I start with a buzz of mine to which inspired you to write a buzz on it and then you write a buzz on my buzz and the chain grows. I think we have a great example of "Natural polymeric ideas" to show for. I hope you publish before tomorrow noon; otherwise I have to wait for almost 12 days before I can respond.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#40
:Risk is something that must be measured and can only be measured by the options we find around the risk". Very powerful and valid thought Harvey Lloyd.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#39
Thank you my friend Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman. You bring a hugely interesting point for me at least. SOme topics in life require us to be "wishy-washy". When we have insufficient data, complex systems wherein a small change might yield an unexpected effect and other cases what to do? How we be decisive? That is why I loved your point "I feel a lot of great music is spontaneous" You leave me with so many points to ponder on.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #37

#42
#43 namita sinha, thank you for your kind words. I am glad that I read your comments in time to include in my contribution to this dynamic discussion.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#38
Lisa Vanderburg you wrote "spontaneity is also youthfully instinctive". What a powerful and beautiful mind you have! You are one of the great gems I got to now.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #35

#32
#33 #34 #38 #39 #40 Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, for expanding my thinking.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #34

#39
"If we don't attach action to the process, are we not living life to its fullest or are we making wise decisions by not being too risky?" This is the true question that spawned my comment. Risk is something that must be measured and can only be measured by the options we find around the risk. If we bring baggage to spontaneity then we will limit our options. Wandering around in Alice's wonderland will not change the risk but may offer options around it Great question and truly shows the mind of a thinker. Sometimes the mad hatter is smarter than we give credit.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, I have read your delightful buzz and the comments a few times this afternoon. I even did some research on spontaneity and sorry for being wishy-washy in my opinion or lack of it, but I feel it can work for or against a person. I feel a lot of great music is spontaneous. I recall an old saying - spontaneity is breaking out in song. Yet, relating to Lisa Vanderburg's comment, throwing yourself off a bridge unless you are sure your bungee straps are secure is an example of spontaneity not being in one's best interest. I like the comment by Harvey Lloyd - "Spontaneity is the nature of the mind. The trees and wildlife along with all we see in nature can be found in our mind when we become spontaneous in designing our way forward. Visiting spontaneity doesn't mean action, but rather exploration before action. So many want to attach action to the process. No action, no rules no conclusions, only exploration. You can choose when you get back.". If we don't attach action to the process, are we not living life to its fullest or are we making wise decisions by not being too risky?

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #32

#30
& #33 I would be so bold as to add to yours Sara Jacobovici from Harvey's comments that spontaneity is also youthfully instinctive. As an adult, intuition damps down spontaneity, and most often for good reason! You wouldn't throw yourself off a bridge unless you were sure of the bungee instructor/straps (or you were 'high')! Spontaneous impulsive abandonment is deliciously inviting, but it's a sport best done alone in my case :) But I do long for the wild freedom of it....

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#36
Is their better than a serious comment that is written in a poetic way? You have done it with great insights, wisdom and words that sing dear Lisa Vanderburg. Just look at the beauty of your philosophy "Brackish will fester the wounds. Pure will clean". With such simple words you removed lots of complexities in our lives. Your reference that we float in salty waters easier than sweet waters is a great reminder that salts have positive values in our lives. You are an exceptional and positive human Lisa.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #30

It is a superb and perfect concept, as always Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. And I can see the draw of our better selves in all the thoughtful yearning below; you bring out agape love in (most) us all! Yet we cannot truly separate the salt, brackish or pure in ourselves - I can't anyway! As each finds its own level abrasions are left; salt (being the most dense) will work to the bottom, where it's salve is lost. Brackish will fester the wounds. Pure will clean - time allowed of course, but the salt would clean better. Are we then more honest to acknowledge that we dip and bob in this sea of mixed complexities, knowing the only true stability is the salt that brings the what is left behind to the surface? I love the beauty and hope that you float; more importantly I trust in your instinct. I know the brokenness in me that makes this image blurry; forgive me my unbelief in perfection!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#34
Dear Harvey Lloyd and myself were discussing in our earlier comments on this buzz. You wrote "Visiting spontaneity doesn't mean action, but rather exploration before action". For me you defined a new definition for pause that is exploration before action. I love this idea and for me this is a true gift. What you described about my search is best that I can describe myself. Believe me I feel you know me better than I do.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #28

#33
Spontaneity is the nature of the mind. The trees and wildlife along with all we see in nature can be found in our mind when we become spontaneous in designing our way forward. Visiting spontaneity doesn't mean action, but rather exploration before action. So many want to attach action to the process. No action, no rules no conclusions, only exploration. You can choose when you get back. Your posts are refreshing, as i see you are digging around in the back alleys of our consciousness trying to find the rare breed of nature, humanness. Clearly this can only be found if we spontaneously look for clues of its existence. Not sure we will find it but the view and search is awesome. (Good luck in Turkey.)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#32
I really would dear Sara Jacobovici. However; I want to record my same experience s outlined in your comment "Some of our most successful ideas came from this open crazy dialogue". The fact that many of my buzzes resulted from dialogues on this platform where I found spontaneity urging me to write is the proof.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #26

#30
Spontaneity does come in many forms i guess. My focus was on the spontaneity of immersing yourself in problem solving or seeking new areas of growth. Dragging old "thinking" along is like cutting your legs off on the start line. In seeking this kind of dialogue i will start meetings with If i had a million dollars to solve, grow or face the issue or event or twenty people? It takes a few kicks of the ball to get folks out of their job description and free dialogue from spontaneity. Some of our most successful ideas came from this open crazy dialogue. Fixing issues from an agenda of facts really limits the engagement of the free floating mind. Time is usually arbiter of the spontaneity injection. If we have time then this what we do, always. If no time, then its command and control as action is what is needed. Me being me (INTJ) though i go back and figure out why i didn't see it coming soon enough to solve the issue at hand, from a more creative perspective.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#30
Dear Sara Jacobovici- let me start from where you ended. You wrote "The third part is the influence the thinking and judgment, the doubt and negativity, have on the quality of our spontaneity. Just because we're being spontaneous, does not assume its quality". I couldn't agree more with you. You remind me of viciously explosive spontaneous reactions and of good and peaceful" spontaneous chemical reactions. Yes, it depends with what we start with. As for your two paradoxes- first with being spontaneous within a bias. This is a new paradox for me and even qualifies you more as what I called you "The Queen of Paradoxes" My initial response would be it depends on the boundary and how much room it allows for movement. If the boundary makes very little space then spontaneity may be restricted to the extent that it is no more spontaneous. To be continued later as I have guests now

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #24

Part Two: After reading the discussion on my second reading, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee; both the positive and negative influences of judgment. From my perspective, as spontaneity is something we do "in time" and as was mentioned, does not involve "thinking", there is more than the two parts to this process; if we stop to think, we can be spontaneous and if we start to think it will prevent us from being able to be spontaneous. The third part is the influence the thinking and judgment, the doubt and negativity, have on the quality of our spontaneity. Just because we're being spontaneous, does not assume its quality.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#28
I shall wait for Part/ 2 before I respond Sara Jacobovici. Great, as I have a pause time to digest your two intriguing paradoxes.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #22

Part One: I have read your buzz for the second time Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, and had the possibility of reading the comments from your readers. You see, the first time I read your buzz it was 9 minutes after you had posted it. I was the first comment and I started to write my comment, but then got interrupted and have now returned, 5 hours later. I would like to copy my first comment as it relates to the topic at hand. #1 Dear Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, I knew behind the creative thinker beats the heart of a romantic! I appreciate the spontaneity of the flow of your ideas and the freedom with which the concepts move. My spontaneous response would be to express my bias; this of course is a paradox. How can my bias, with its constraints be part of a spontaneous, free flowing response? For me it manifests in that I respond spontaneously within the framework of my bias. Hopefully that framework is large enough to allow for freedom of movement. One bias is in regards to, "When two "solid" humans meet they may form spontaneous relationship between them...They both lose self-identity to form a new identity." From my perspective, a relationship helps an individual to grow as a person and expand on his or her identity; no loss takes place. The only new biological identity a man and a woman can form is another individual. My other bias is related to the sense of time. And here is another paradox: spontaneity is time bound. We either make time for spontaneity or not.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#26
Thank you Sara Jacobovici for your response. Sometimes a pause can be very short so it sounds spontaneous.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #20

#10
Thanks Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee's comment. I agree with you Dr. Ali when you say that with spontaneity there is no pause to think. If we "act" spontaneously, we are "doing" something in the moment without "thinking" about it. It can indeed feel liberating as Harvey points out.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #19

#6
Spoken like a true poet debasish majumder.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#23
I shall give you a rest of my buzzes for 12 days dear Tausif Mundrawala as I shall be travelling. I hope to collect some wisdom to share with you afterwards. Keep well and thanks for your very kind words.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#20
Your wisdom is growing exponentially Tausif Mundrawala. This is best reflected in your writing "One being superior and the other being inferior won't work out as that would create two separate identities". We could be like water and milk or like water and fatty materials. In the first case the are miscible in each other. In contrast, the other will leave two separate layers. The day we believe we know it is the day that we stop growing. Plants that stop growing die. We are the same.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#20
Your wisdom is growing exponentially Tausif Mundrawala. This is best reflected in your writing "One being superior and the other being inferior won't work out as that would create two separate identities". We could be like water and milk or like water and fatty materials. In the first case the are miscible in each other. In contrast, the other will leave two separate layers. The day we believe we know it is the day that we stop growing. Plants that stop growing die. We are the same.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#17
You deserve DEAR debasish majumder and more. You have the mind of a chemist and the heart of a poet.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
:)))

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #13

#15
Turkey Wow. Have an amazing trip dear Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee You deserve a trip around the whole world :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#13
You know what excites me dear and I couldn't resist writing this buzz even though I am preparing for a trip to Turkey on Friday noon. I wrote this buzz with the feelings of spontaneity and I thank you for the tag. As for your amendment I agree with you for one simple reason. This is exactly what I feel in my communications with you. You are a superb human.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
It is amazing how we remember basic things from our grandchildren. No wonder children explore, enjoy more and thrive more even on little successes. Yes, I share your sadness and I feel the same as what you feel. Joy + Creativity come from spontaneity with very little effort. When we grow up we do great effort with little joy.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #10

You share all this wonderful ideas and thoughts with us and when I read that quote "he, who gets close to a good tree, will have a good shade" your the first person that came to my mind. We enjoy in the shade of your knowledge and in-turn are sparked by our own ideas and grow. I enjoyed the read alot Thank you Dr Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee but I would humbly say sorry and would love rephrase your quote "We may fathom the strength of human bonding by the quality of communication bonded humans have" :)

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #9

#10
Sadly this concept is stripped from us during our youth. The first bike ride and the overcoming of fears to enjoy the spontaneity of the joy of balance or the joy of meeting new friends to play and what they brought to our spontaneity. Somehow in our "growing up" it all gets a little too serious. My age now has me reminiscing about my youth and the surging of joy that was constantly a part of the youthful experience. My grandchildren are now showing me the way back to the life where seriousness is replaced with spontaneity.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#9
You are very wise dear Deb\ud83d\udc1d Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Even alternating between between opposites such as kind and mean may draw more energies from us. We need supportive relationships and this is the best natural vaccine. I am therefore in total agreement with your writing "But when we share respect for one another and share our power with one another...". Instead of dissipating our energy we this way focus it to reinforcing spontaneity and making it stay longer. Whenever we raise the temperature of our relationships using negative approaches such as anger and envity we are in actuality encouraging entropy (disorder) in our lives. Heating up things can bring the opposite effect.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
Thank you Harvey Lloyd may not agree with me on this). The tree doesn't think where it shall land its shadow and this is the beauty of its journey of "joy and surprises". I wonder of commenters would had their experiences on how they felt when they acted spontaneously! How the feelings changed over time? I sure you experienced this, Harvey.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #6

Spontaneity is an experience regardless of event or topic that is our best expression, internally and externally of freedom. Spontaneity and judgement can not occupy the spot in our mind. Suppressing judgement long enough to enjoy spontaneity and where it takes you is a mental vacation. Judgement early in the journey of spontaneity kills the ride. But judgement serves our fears of where spontaneity may take us too. Spontaneity may expose our lack of understanding or a reflection we had not considered or maybe it might be a journey of wisdom. This is the challenge with spontaneity you really won't know where you will land and that for me is the joy of living. Thanks for your efforts to remind us that spontaneity is a journey of joy and surprises.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#6
One question that comes to my mind dear debasish majumder is why you didn't study chemistry? You are a philosopher of chemistry and extending its bonding to life bonding. Love may reach a slavery stage where feelings of obsession becomes overwhelming. Like two atoms reacting, but breaking their bond or replacing one atom by another becomes extremely difficult. In all cases love isn't inert.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Thank you so much for your attention Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

read and shared

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#2
I wan highlighting Fatimas' nema and mistakenly pasted to the title page. This is why I call "sweet mistake". Anyways, is mentioned in the post.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Mistakenly, I published the buzz under a different title. Now, the buzz has the correct title.

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