Suspended Doubts
Intriguing questions cross my mind such as:
·When to suspend writing to beBee?
·When to suspend commenting?
·When to suspend negotiation?
·When to suspend dealings with a business partner?
·And many more
The "bee-flower" metaphor is of great help in answering these questions. I wrote here a post on "The Honey Paradoxes" in which I explained that suspended honey has a better value than pure honey because the suspended particles (pollens) are rich in proteins. We devalue honey if we remove the suspended pollen particles. However; the paradox is that people prefer transparent and clear product to a suspended one. Our senses deceive us. Sara Jacobovici responded with a beautiful buzz titled "When Turbulence Clearly Makes Sense". In the buzz, she elaborated on the idea by asking " Does clarity allow you to see better or are our senses being deprived of being able to experience the quality of turbulence? Are we a culture that defines “murkiness” or “opacity” as unclear or impure versus engaging in the challenge of extracting those valuable elements within the conflict"?
We are seeking clarity from turbidity. Is this sensible? In fact, this is not only sensible, but is also much needed in business, life and even in drug administration. Suspicion is lack of trust, which leads to suspension. Yes, again suspension emerges in lack of trust. Suspension serves as an indicator whether to continue "swimming in the turbid waters", or suspend and eventually withdraw.
Let me show by example. You are negotiating a deal. At one point you become suspicious and suspend the negotiation. Why do you suspend? Are you leaving pollens in the honey of negotiation that makes it cosmetically unappealing? May be the counter negotiator is making it turbid for you to quit and leave behind the goodies? Remember that suspensions, no matter how turbid the waters of negotiation are, are pausing periods and the suspended issues may settle on its own.
This brings another issue to the negotiation table. There is need to differentiate between trust and suspension. I like this quote from Marwan Sinaceur "While distrust (trust) involves having negative (positive) expectations about another’s motives, suspicion is defined as the state in which perceivers experience ambiguity about another’s motives". Suspicion creates suspension and turbidity. That is to say suspicion creates particles that suspend in the "water of negotiation".
The Suspended Doubts Metaphor
"Suspended Doubts" is the metaphor that I suggest here. Doubts are the particles that make our waters turbid and air cloudy. Beware of what particles you have. Remember that removing suspended materials may cause harm if dealt with improbably. Suspended flour in a flour mill may catch fire and cause huge harm. Wouldn't be better to suspend it in "waters"?
Do not burn your suspended flowers or pollen. They are inflammable. When I have suspicion people are no longer interested in my buzzes on beBee, for example, I know how to tame my suspicion so as to reduce the suspended doubts without losing trust in self. Suspensions are alarm lights to pause and think positively.
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التعليقات
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #23
No doubt you shall @namita sinha
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #22
@namita sinha- you cleared all doubts. You are the type of person who always writes clearly and therefore people trust your opinion. I live with you the value of trust and what it can do to relationships. Thank you for writing illuminating comments.
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #21
@namita sinha- great feedback and lovely example. The cereal example is perfect. It enriched the buzz and consolidated its meaning. I am in full appreciation of your comment and its value. I hope soon all readers shall realize that beBee has acquired a great author and thinker. You are welcome.
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #20
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #19
Julie Hickman- I am moved by your sgaring at it buzzes your own experiences. It is this sharing that removes doubts or lead to a green light to follow. You are more open to others than you think. I am truly happy with your comment.
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #18
Your question is genius @CityVP Manjit. You know we may hold some types of bees in your hand safely. They shall not harm you unless you scare them. It is our fear that leads us to scare the bee and make it an antagonist.
CityVP Manjit
منذ 7 سنوات #17
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #16
I love and concur with your positive attitude to the problem William King. Knowing the problem is the first step to its solving.
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #15
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #14
Thank you for your poetic comment dear poet debasish majumder
Qamar Ali Khan
منذ 7 سنوات #13
Great words Anees Zaidi! A universal truth indeed. Thank you very much!
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #12
Qamar Ali Khan- the beauty is I understand it without knowing Persian. Your flowing honey makes it so easy to understand.
Qamar Ali Khan
منذ 7 سنوات #11
This is so great of you sir Ali Anani! This is a great post and it opens multiple levels of perceptions of diverse nature. This is a post that is called "memorable". I'm really humbled and obliged for your encouraging words and compliments. If you could know Persian. They say "من آنم کہ من دانم. Thank you very much again sir!
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #10
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #9
Qamar Ali Khan- you know Qamar means moon in Arabic and you deservedly are. The simplicity, but pwerfully, you expressed your opinion is overwhelmingly beautiful "The level of our suspension is directly related to the level of our suspicion". You vented out what I wanted to communicate. Thank you and happy to link with you and learn from you.
Qamar Ali Khan
منذ 7 سنوات #8
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #7
I remember beBee welcoming you as you first joined. Now, I know beBee was right in welcoming the sharp brain of Anees Zaidi. I fully concur with your comment. We need suspense and suspension. We need to be less clear to understand more. We need less comfort to gain more of it. I appreciate greatly your contribution.
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #6
You are my partner Sara Jacobovici and what I write is the application of the honey metaphor that you mentioned in your last post. Yes, visualizing suspensions of intangibles such as negotiations as honey suspensions is useful; otherwise I wouldn't have dared to publish this buzz.
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #5
Sara Jacobovici
منذ 7 سنوات #4
Mohammed Abdul Jawad
منذ 7 سنوات #3
Ali Anani
منذ 7 سنوات #2
Javier C\u00e1mara Rica- I appreciate your unlimited courtesy
Javier Cámara-Rica 🐝🇪🇸
منذ 7 سنوات #1