Why People Give up and Lose Heart?

Why People Give up and Lose Heart?Credit- Pixabay

Some buzzes send the reader into deep thinking. This is what I experienced upon reading a recent buzz by Javier beBee tilted “How to Keep Going When You Feel Like Giving Up”. The buzz is so sensational that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I share here my derived thoughts.

why people give up and lose heart? Will this effect be limited to an individual or it could extend to overwhelm a society? These questions were addressed by John W. Gardner in his bookSelf-Renewal: The Individual and the Innovative Society”

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Gardner writes in his book “social renewal depends ultimately on individuals”. If the individual is weak, so the society shall be. If the individual tends to give up, so the society shall do. I explain this by saying society is the result of human interactions. It is an emerging property. If the humans are weak, their interactions shall be weak, and a weak society shall emerge. Despairing individuals shall lead to despairing societies. I can see this effect in a recent photo of a capital city. In this Monday, Jan. 22, 2018, photo, a man takes photos of piles of garbage washed on shore after an extended storm battered the Mediterranean country. Individuals acts may pile up and when the storms blow new societal facts emerge. As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate.

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As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate- John W. Gardner

So, the question that needs addressing is why an individual may become rigid and deprived of vitality? It is when an individual act becomes careless and irresponsible. It is when the waters running in the brain becomes polluted with negative thoughts and intentions. It is the pebbles of negative and irresponsible thoughts that block the flow of waters in the brains of individuals and make them rigid. This is expressed ably in the following image there is one.


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I discussed this issue in one of my most celebrated presentations “Clean Your Mind Cache”.

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Our societies are turbid because the waters running in our bodies are turbid too leading to anxious societies and unhappiness.

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Anxiety and unhappiness lead to rigidity and lack of creativity. This leads to giving up easily upon experiencing a first failing attempt.

WE are living the age of the death of time. We are in hurry. We have little time to pause, to stop and smell the flowers. WE are leading chaotic lives. We are becoming increasingly forgetful of the basic facts of life. We are living in rushing societies. WE forget that success follows failure and the flowers blossom after rainy days. WE don’t take a breath of pausing and tend to forget that going slow is faster sometimes. We forget that we move faster in slowly moving waters than in the turbid, but highly flowing waters.


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Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #43

#38
We are nearing the end of an "Epoch". The Persian's, Roman's and the Mayan's all experienced this phenomena. When the advancement of humans reaches some level of knowledge of their heritage, present and known future they elevate themselves to God like status. Could Romans have known that the Iphone was coming? But within our sphere of understanding we think we have explained everything. This is the first clue of the end of an epoch. The second clue is when groups begin to form around various outcomes of this elevation of knowing everything. Creating new paths of enlightenment because they have arrived at the core of existence and want you to follow. The second tell of the epoch demise. The third and final tell is in the self elevation of individuals and then groups of judgement. Each group pitted against the other with the sole purpose of power and ,money at the core. This is not necessarily a bad thing by any means. But the end of one epoch would imply the beginning of the next. The real question is, does the ending paradigm foretell the beginning of the next? My hope is that having experienced the rise and fall of so many epochs in history that we can transitions this one with civility and challenge. History doesn't bare this thought out but then again history describes growth also.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#38
Yes, and I believe this question shall live with us for long times.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#44
"Yet our minds do expand when we are frozen by fear because it is imagination that expands" and we start to see fear bigger than what it is in reality. Love is the antidote of fear. Fear freezes us physically by expands our imagination. Again you send new "thinking signals" to your readers CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. Since reading your previous comment here #39 I a on a thinking journey. I have been to new thinking frontiers, which I shall be sharing soon. And yet I have now a new challenge to look into. Thank you my friend for igniting my mind with so many new ideas.

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #40

#41
We do not expand physically when we are frozen by fear or chilled by bad news - so physically we contract because physical danger will make us protect what our minds consider to be vital in our physical being. Yet our minds do expand when we are frozen by fear because it is imagination that expands. The part of this imagination that expands is our sense of proportionality. In fear based situations the first thing we lose is our sense of proportionality. So our fear projects a much bigger danger than is real. In people with anxiety disorder fear expands our imagination of what might go wrong or expands upon our most deepest fears. Then we need to understand this chill of fear through exercises that get us back in touch with what really is, not what our minds have imagined things to be. When we establish our sense of proportionality, we discover just how much our minds have elevated and projected on a certain situation or context - and enlarged that in our minds. So physically we contract as we do when real freezing temperatures effect us - so that the vital parts of our body are protected and energy is sent to those critical areas, but our minds expand in the presence of the freezing effect of fear. We literally freeze because of fear and our imagination is triggered by our amgydala rather than our prefrontal cortex. Then our mind begins to play tricks on us, which is why it is common to see the acronym of F.E.A.R. as False Evidence that Appears Real. So some food for thought because you wanted to think about this. But my friend, do note that thinking about this is not proportional to actuality of our existence and love unfreezes fear - and of course in that regard the act of loving ourselves brings us back to "normal size" living - that we call "normality:

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#42
Thank you Debesh Choudhury for the inspiration. The idea of the buzz initially centers around "We aren't only what we are, but also how we dissociate". Some novel ideas are crossing my mind, which I shall share soon in my next buzz.

Debesh Choudhury

Debesh Choudhury

3 years ago #38

#20
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee I do agree that the damped vibes are more profound than the positive vibes. That is why it is not easy to get out of the failures and get going. Inspirational cross thinking, and exchanging ideas often help. As your posts are good sources of inspiration to me and many. @CityVP Manjit's "negative ions" make me think it in a new way.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#39
Thank you for contributing a solid and wise comment CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit shall be pleased with the way you highlighted your super comment. I kept thinking about your comment. WE are in essence water constitution and much more like we are a water metaphor. Two aspects come to my mind. First, water has unique properties and it is unlike other liquids or water-based fluids. It expands when it freezes. SO we expand when we are frozen by fear? Do we expand when we are chilled by bad news? I am asking only because I need to find the answer. WE are more like ions . Water gives positively charged ions as well as negatively charged ones. This is how it bonds and dissolves other materials and even become conductive to electricity. But the point that really attracted my attention is the "reversal effect". This reversal effect creates opportunities like you said the reversal of the value of negative ions to become useful. Can we reverse the negative emotions into positive ones? If we succeed then new possibilities shall emerge. I am still thinking deeper...

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#36
WE need your engaging comments Joel Anderson. I am very glad to welcome you back.

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #35

I don't want to judge positive and negative because of what others do and yet it can create unavoidable flood of emotion. This emotional flood is very impacting upon us. I for one continue to be a learner of those impacts at a personal level, and this is probably going to be a slow dripping wisdom for me. I am not averse to utilizing the water metaphor, but we cannot change this world by saying that we should be like water. We are water as a major part of our constitution. Now knowing that water is a major part of my constitution, I prefer changing a part of that metaphor to ions. So we have positive and negative ions. That takes me away from sun metaphors or water metaphors and takes me to breath. That is why when I first heard of the Judaic word "Ruach' it was a word that resonated with me and it is connected to the "breath of life". Positive ions are harmful to us, while negative ions are beneficial https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/negative-ions-create-positive-vibes#1 and the reason this catches us by surprise and why there is a learning in Javier's compliment to you in #6 - that we are not able to free ourselves - in Javier's comment, the reverse of what he said is that meeting a negative person would make him work less harder - but that is the reverse of what he said, but it is not the reality. So it is the negative ion is a really interesting breathing metaphor :-) Breathing is our own breath here and how we breath is still within our own hands. As the WebMD article says "Ions are molecules that have gained or lost an electrical charge. . They are created in nature as air molecules break apart due to sunlight, radiation, and moving air and water." - Now that is surely an integrated metaphor :-)

Nick Mlatchkov

Nick Mlatchkov

3 years ago #34

Now we live at the peak of creativity age and yet "we live in the age of the death of time" - that's the Bard's question ...!

Nick Mlatchkov

Nick Mlatchkov

3 years ago #33

Now we live at the peak of creativity age and yet "we live in the age of the death of time" - that's a Bard's question ...!

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

3 years ago #32

Ali, Keeping on is its own best reward. I'm coming back from a long bout with Murphy and look forwar5d to once again actively being involved with my friends here on BeBee. I've missed your penetrating take on life.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#34
Thank you . Yes, because people need to realize that success need sustained and persistent efforts. If people would remember what Edison said "I didn't fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps." "Great success is built on failure and frustration." We fail when we stop trying.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#32
Thank you for your enticing comment Savvy Raj

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#29
I had wrote my previous comment before I read yours Brian McKenzie and I feel our thoughts are streamlined on this issue.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#28
Piling negative on a negative on a negative will make many walk away

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

3 years ago #27

Ah, all the haste coupled with dubious thoughts makes a person to lose hopes!

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

3 years ago #26

#15
not wearing a uniform 🥋 ✊️😉

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #25

#23
'Succeeding alone or learning alone is a sweet cover for going naked in the world' reminds me of Hans Christian Andersen's The Emperor's New Clothes! How many times have we seen or heard or felt something so wonderful we want others to witness it too? That's a more mundane way of interpreting Harvey Lloyd's #17 comment) is a sad place to live! #8 Alan Culler's comment resounded; germination from fire.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#24
Fulfilled people know the value of your comment Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. Thank you also for sharing the buzz.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Excellent and insightful buzz, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. "Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful." ~ Brian Tracy

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#21
You know Harvey Lloyd that I consider you a partner and co-author of whatever I write. You wrote very correctly and wisely " If a man inherit the world but does not experience love (fulfillment) he has nothing". Then you define fulfillment as "We can only be fulfilled through a shared journey. Fulfillment is what keeps us marching towards achievement". yes, maturity means when I do good for myself its real value is if I extend it to others. Succeeding alone or learning alone is a sweet cover for going naked in the world.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#17
Thank you dear Tausif Mundrawala for being a caring son. Because your mother cared for you you care for her and others. How many mothers are left alone and feel abandoned? The cycle of fear and bravery is there, but it is us to make the cycle tilted more towards bravery.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #20

Having just come from a meeting where we are embarking on a new technique of leading in the classroom, i have now ponder this post and comments a second time. It would appear that success and fulfilment would go hand in hand. But this is not always the case. Fulfilment is an aspect that we humans need to be reflected back to us, we met the target and others were fulfilled, not just successful. If a man inherit the world but does not experience love (fulfilment) he has nothing. The energy of fulfilment is greater than the achievement. We can only be fulfilled through a shared journey. Fulfillment is what keeps us marching towards achievement. Really some great thoughts and comments as we discuss the area of achievement and its obstacles. Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#19
You remind me of my buzz which I published few days ago "Wavy World" https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/the-wavy-world The question is how deep the trough is because it is easier to go down than to go up. Some people have a long cycle and so long that so much water runs under the bridge Debesh Choudhury. Do you agree?

Debesh Choudhury

Debesh Choudhury

3 years ago #18

Life is a cycle. Losing heart is natural and inevitable, as in a cycle comes the trough and the crest. They follow each other cyclically. In life the cycles are generally damped or sometimes amplified harmonic incidents. Mostly we face the damped harmonic life sessions and we get lost in pathos and melancholy. But sometimes comes the amplified life session of success. We get happiness and elation. Most of us get up after every damping. Rarely we fail to rise again. So giving up is a temporary session. This is my thought Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
I agree and I recall writing a buzz titled "Opposites Co-exist".

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #16

#10
The happy police and the despair squad exist on opposite sides of the same see-saw (issue). Amazingly they think they are on different ones:) Short and sweet, Pascal Derrien

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#10
i hope you belong to the happy police Pascal Derrien. You always amaze me with your solid comments because they are different from other commenters.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
This is a very interesting thought Joel Anderson. Some people refer to intentions as the seeds of our actions. So, it is spot on that you used same world. Wonderful thinking

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#9
Yes, and it is small, but consistent acts that change the world my dear Lisa Vanderburg is perfect. I read his recent buzz and it is indeed super.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#7
If I connect comments then my dear friend Lisa Vanderburg on same topic later today.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#6
Thank You Thank You Thank You Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee. It is you who was the inspiration for writing this buzz. I am so grateful to be connected with people of your caliber.

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

3 years ago #10

A bit of last man (woman) standing spirit in there.... now giving up is one thing but denial is another one I for one am as wary of the happy police than I am of the despair squad :-)

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #9

CONT: My mind says what you say is right; the WE is US so we are the individual that is the first to change things up. Like Tausif Mundrawala's aching loss of his mother and knowing that dignity is sometimes the greatest essence we want for our loved ones, he asks how can we stop the stigma of the stares and comments of thoughtless strangers. Seems to me that simple graciousness and manners would go a long way in changing our world. It must start with a simple gesture.

Alan Culler

Alan Culler

3 years ago #8

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee Thank you for your insightful ruminations. Sometimes suffering is "undergoing" the germination of a seed amidst the seeming decay in the mulch waiting for the fiddlehead to poke through and uncurl in the warmth of the spring sunshine.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #7

It's the continuity of thought that makes beBee so very enlightening and provocative, as you clearly demonstrate here Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee's addition and always new thoughts feeding tributaries. So much movement...fluidity.

Javier 🐝 CR

Javier 🐝 CR

3 years ago #6

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee thank you so much. People like you make me work harder. I am so grateful. THANK YOU THANK YOU. Best wishes from Madrid

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#3
Your comment resonates so favorably with me Harvey Lloyd that I agree with it in full. Yes, it is not enough for a person to own something if he/she lacks the intention to share it with others. "poisoning" knowledge without circulating it is going to make this knowledge turbid and toxic inside the holder. It is like still water not flowing energetically and so the water turns turbid. Instead of knowledge becoming a flame, it turns into a suffocating one inside the person. When we improve others we improve self as well.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#2
Great thoughts dear Debasish Majumder. Can we give what we don't have? Simply no. For an individual to give he has to have what he intends to give. We don't give only money or materials,; more we give intangibles such as happiness to others. We need individuals with great attributes, vitality and creativity to contribute. These are the people who may turn a threat or blockage into something creative.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #3

“social renewal depends ultimately on individuals” "If the individual is weak, so the society shall be." If i could add a third legh to this table of thought. Selfishness sometimes is masked as weakness. Strength exists but the strength is centered within itself. The society does not benefit from the strength as it is focused inward and not outward. Several things bring about this third leg. Regulations, economic fears and greed, to name a few. I would like to look at a single source of this phenomena. Media. Media has found that engagement rises as emotions do. This great et of negative emotions will induce a natural world view of fear. Not psychotic but rather a general element of that we tend to reserve our strength for our own internal needs. But to share energy you must see a larger scope than your own needs/fears. I have seen many here on beBee who were unable to get above their own focus/need.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #2

there was a time, at the inception, when there was no existence of life and neither water, a circumstance emerge, enable life to evolve. even glaciers melt, enable water to derive and flow. so i guess, there is no absolute rigidity. sometimes, even apparently hindrances may pave the way for new design to emerge.so an individual's focus on himself only, or for others is of great paramount and that determine how a flow may become beneficial. but, we cannot rule an individual large impacted by the environment in and around him and sometimes he becomes the worst prey of the situation he is confronting. i don't know exactly why an individual may only be blamed! however, wonderful insight sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the share sir.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee- you are mentioned in this buzz as the source of inspiration for this buzz. Thank you for your great buzz that made writing this buzz possible.

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