You must have experienced one of those scenarios

You must have experienced one of those scenarios

The complexity of our lives in increasing because of the increased duality or ambivalence that we suffer constantly from. I am sure we have all experienced one of the following scenarios in which you found your feelings and thoughts are in disharmony.

Β· A married woman who has a crippled husband. She is torn between taking care of him and her right to live her life. The woman meets by chance with a man who would make her life enjoyable. Every day the conflict inside the woman intensifies. The pendulum of her disharmony keeps jumping from one extreme to the other chaotically. She lives an erratic life that may lead her eventually to make the wrong decision.

Β· A nearby plant emits carbon dioxide and is polluting the atmosphere. The plant employs many needy workers. The people are polarized into two major groups: one for closing the plant and the other group calling for keeping the plant as jobs are scarce. Feelings and thoughts are in disharmony.

Β· A son wants to study a subject of his interest. The father is threatening his son if he insists on his desire he shall not pay for his fees. The student loves his father and doesn’t wish to disobey him. His desire is in one side and his thoughts are on the other end of the pendulum. The conflict intensifies every day and the son feels crippled and unable to make a decision.

Β· You heard quite often the phrase on one hand and on the other hand. This is again a sign of ambivalence. I want to buy this car for my wife because she loves it, but it is expensive. The husband is having a conflict between making his wife happy and the fear of having debt problems if he decides to purchase the car.

Β· A female student gets raped in the university campus. She is torn apart between revenging from the man who raped her and being shy to reveal what she experienced. She lives in isolation, but her mind is only focused on how to revenge from the man. She is fearful to make her story a common known secret, but revenge is kindling in her mind and that would make her secret public.

Β· There are so many attitudes that are in conflict within us. For example, should we live the now, or be fearful and save money for the future and not fully live the now.

Having a conflict between our feelings and thoughts will only aggravate with time. The feelings escalate very rapidly at one point and all of a sudden we can no more handle their impact. We submit so as to get out of this very uncomfortable situation. Our lives becomes chaotic like the chaotic pendulum in the following video.


I would say here that ambivalence will trouble our lives is truly reflected in this video.. This situation in which we have a prolonged disharmony between our hearts and brains will give our lives a disharmonious rhythm. The mind and brain talk to each other. In fact our hearts communicate more with our brains than the other way round. It is this lack of cohesion between the two that give our lives its chaotic pendulum movement as well as a chaotic cohesion spectrum. This is evidenced in the research in which the cohesion of the spectra of our breathing, our blood pressure rhythm and our heart rate beat variability are not in harmony with all the ill-effects that follow. I strongly advise you to read this reference for further details and visuals.

So what is the solution?

I love creative solutions. One example of such creativity in which we should focus our attention in finding new alternatives to minimize the pain and maximize the gain. One example is the brilliant idea of turning the polluting carbon dioxide into stone. Scientists think they have found a smart way to constrainΒ carbon dioxideΒ emissions – just turnΒ them toΒ stone. They use a smart technology to direct this gas under basalt rocks which have components that react with the emissions of carbon dioxide and convert it to a stone. This way the conflict between keeping a plant open to employ workers and closing it to protect the environment is resolved.

So is the case of the raped girl. In one incident a raped girl started a new brand of sports shoes in which she donated a certain percentage of her profits to help girls who suffered from rape. Solving the problem of others puts our feelings and thoughts in harmony.

If we have the will we shall find a creative solution to alleviate our conflicts or convert them into rewarding solutions.


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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#88
Are you going to write a book on paradoxes Sara Jacobovici? You have simply an amazing mind. I love this quote from you "In music, when tones are not in harmony, not consonant but dissonant, the listener experiences a tension". Would I ask for a better example? Certainly not. This paradox creativity often produces the tension is worthy to investigate in a greater detail.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

3 years ago #81

#87
Thank you for your kind words Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Your comments are often a nice closing of the gap from my comment. Yet, at other times, your comments open me up to another thought. As it did now, Dr. Ali. I appreciate you writing, "When we are in tension is the time for creativity. Tension and creativity are not in harmony. " In music, when tones are not in harmony, not consonant but dissonant, the listener experiences a tension. We can tolerate that tension as long as we anticipate and experience the resolution to that dissonance. The composer created both the harmony and dissonance within the creative process. In this way, I suggest that creativity provides for the release of tension. The paradox is that creativity often produces the tension.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#86
If I had only one reader by the name of Sara Jacobovici I shall be always happy to write. You capture the essence of the buzz beautifully Yes it is not easy to eliminate all the conflict, but alleviating it is possible. When we are in tension is the time for creativity. Tension and creativity are not in harmony. So, we even have a paradox here that we need to resolve.

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

3 years ago #79

Wonderful piece Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, thank you. You provide an important perspective to ambivalence. I hear you telling me not to get stuck on one side or the other. By not reacting and investing in the reaction, we can move out of the state of ambivalence, where the movement is non-directive and simply in response to the circumstance, and instead, regain some of that control lost to us because of the circumstance and, as you say, create a new option. Never easy, but certainly worth the effort. Again my apologies to you and your readers for not being able to read the comments preceding mine. Thanks again Dr. Ali.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #78

#84
The effects, my dear friend CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit, are visceral and forever...The emotional impact on the body devastating...Two painful surgeries forty years later has just been the tip of the iceberg...It is as you say..."a spiritual death' in the system...

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #77

#11
Hi Cyndi wilkins a long time ago, I read a journal of psychology that asserted that while there are many forms of trauma that people can recover from, their research concluded that rape was one of the few trauma's that left a permanent psychological mark on its victim. In essence they asserted that rape is psychologically disturbing that this trauma embeds itself much deeper as a violation of the body. At the same time the legal system is not fair at all to rape victims. Nor do many understand that rape as a violation usually has more to do with subjecting the victim to control and power and that the sexual act is actually secondary for the rapist, for many rapist indulge the perversion of dehumanizing the victim. In short the horror of rape is still not understood by our society at the level it actually violates a human being. This is not like a robbery where one can move to a new home, in rape the body is the home and what has been violated is the deepest level of being - a destruction of the spirit and not just a physical revulsion of a gross act of inhumanity. When it comes to turning trauma into triumph, here I agree wholeheartedly with the magnificent contribution of people to help others so they can either achieve some form of legal recognition or to track down predators and thereby cut down the possibility of future attacks, or at least save one soul from this trauma than would have been the case otherwise. Even with these people transforming their grief or story into positive social cause, in the case of rape, we as a society still need to develop our sensibility to a far greater degree about why the violation of the human spirit is a supreme act of evil on any person.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#81
I agree in full.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#80
I feel that your comment is based on personal experience because it is a living comment Bernard Poulin.. I love the poetic style of your comment as well. I enjoyed this part of it in particular immensely. "Reaching beyond our personal spaces, our own navels, puts us in sync with life rather than sucking the air out of it". Yes, it is challenging to go beyond ourselves, but this what makes life worthy.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#78
Very true Yolanda \u00c1vila M\u00e1rquez. However; antifragility is more than resilience. It is coming out of a stressful situation stronger than before. Like carbon under stress yields diamonds so we are expected to be antifragile. This is a subject of huge interest and I hope to cover it soon.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#76
great and do give this idea a try. It shall be nice to see how both of us Cyndi wilkins tackles the same topic differently

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #72

#67
Within difficulty lies opportunity;-) I will keep an eye out for your next buzz sir...I could use the added inspiration myself as these last several months have been very challenging...

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Dears Joanne Gardocki I would love to hear your voices on these discussions

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#73
absolutely I agree with you Yolanda \u00c1vila M\u00e1rquez. Yes, we agree. Being positive and acting in a positive way is far better than paralyzing self with ugly memories of cowardly acts. It requires solid determination, but it can be done.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#68
brilliant comment dear Tausif Mundrawala. You wrote "I have learnt that whatever we desire it comes with a price and requires us to work on it diligently". In thermodynamics we know you don't get anything for nothing. You derived this reality by yourself. You are smsrt my friend.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#69
Dear Yolanda \u00c1vila M\u00e1rquez- I read the story of the girl. She didn't remove her problem, but lesssned its intensity by helping others. She vented out part of frustration this way. The positive side is that she designed the sports shoe. She re-challened her frustration and this was a way of dealing of a problem rather than allowing the problem to ruin her. She was self-motivated to do that.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#66
Your comment dear Cyndi wilkins has just inspired me with the idea for my next buzz. The theme of it is as we face hardships in life it is our best times to find creative and simple solutions. Welcome to challenges because they make us thrive, Thank you Cyndi.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #66

#65
Salt of the Earth he was...and showering you with his love from above...The greatest gift that one can give while in the flesh is to leave this world having made it a better place...I would say your father did that...Tenfold;-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#64
You really increased my awareness of the role my father> Thank you and I am truly moved by your comment. When my father passed away in 2005 we only found out that he was sponsoring more than ten orphaned students by paying their university fees. He didn't only scarified for his family, but also for the needy and deprived people. My father was a renowned writer. He co-authored one book in English. The early history of the Gulf Arabs / Ahmad Anani and Ken Whittingham.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #64

"The pain was great, but still his beliefs helped him contain the pain." That my friend Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee is the will to survive...and that is why your father lived another forty years after the fact...His concern for his families well-being should he not survive himself was the driving force behind his choice to soldier through excruciating pain to secure their future...even if he sacrificed his...That is the highest expression of love...and the measure of an amazing man...You are blessed to have had such a wonderful role model;-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#62
I agree fully with your splendid comment Zacharias \ud83d\udc1d Voulgaris. Either we find a creative solutions, or we find a way to lessen the conflict. It is not always easy to find a total solution. I mentioned same idea in my previous comment. But it all starts from congruence with oneself. Beautifully expressed Zacharias.

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

I love the complex system example (double pendulum case) as an analogy. At the end of the day, it's all about congruence with oneself. Not easy to find creative solutions always, but definitely possible. Thanks for the great post...

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#60
Do you know dear Lisa Vanderburg that my father memorized The Learners' Dictionary in full. At his time very few people spoke English in my country. This helped my father do thirteen jobs simultaneously. He worked as translator, Part-time English teacher and preparing pitches documents to big construction companies, among other jobs. If I claim that he didn't influence my life I would be lying. There is a catchy phrase in your comment. "Suffering can take a good person and either make them exceptional or destroy them". Absolutely spot on. It is a thin line that can bifurcate us into two different paths. This is a buzz on its own. Your comment reminds me to invite my friend Dr. Vincenzo De Florio to the discussions here. Antifragility is to become stronger when experiencing a hard going in life. Not only suffering can take us in two different paths, but it can even make us stronger than we were before the suffering. This is a huge idea for the workshop that Vincenzo is organizing. Pain and Antifragility. It is more than resilience because resilience takes us to the same condition and position we were at before we suffered. Antifragility makes us better and stronger.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #60

#59
Your father's journey leaves me reeling; that determination takes such great passion to overcome, especially as the odds were so stacked against him. I can see where you get your steel from Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! Suffering can take a good person and either make them exceptional or destroy them. Such is the fine line we tread....at some point, our choice will define us. Thank you for sharing your father's story, my friend!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#55
Your comment Cyndi wilkins reminded me of my late father's dilemma when I was about nine years old. My father has ulcer and the doctors told him that he had such a severe ulcer that 50% of his stomach had to be cut off. The MD then followed by telling my father that he had to make a choice between living for a maximum of two years or to have an operation that his chance of survival was 2%. If you were in my fathers's position what would have been your choice? My father came a compromising one. To have the operation in a year' time. The reason he opted for that was his willingness to secure his family financially to the maximum. He worked every day during that year from five in the morning till almost 11 PM. His stomach was bleeding; yet his willingness to sacrifice exceeded his suffering. He survived till while still at the hospital he coughed and the stitches opened up. He had to undergo the operation for more than four hours again without anesthetic. The pain was great, but still his beliefs helped him contain the pain. He lived more than forty years after that. We can't remove the pain completely, but we can alleviate it with our internal beliefs.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I invite Edward Lewellen to share his wisdom

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Ambivalence is a rich source of conflicts for writers and storytellers. Marketing and salespeople alike need to be storytellers. I share thisbuzz there for this reason.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#55
zCyndi wilkins in order to take a different trajectory one has to at least change slightly ;is/her initial position. I agree it is our responsibility to change our feelings/thoughts from within so that we may be thrown into a different path. Sometimes little changes make big differences.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #55

#52
The choice to heal is entirely our own...it does not erase the memory of trauma...nor does it stop the pain we feel for innocence lost...It does, however shift the trajectory of our thoughts so as to see things from a different perspective...We can dwell on pain and live in it forever...or we can be in pain and chose not to dwell in it...releasing it from our forever;-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#52
this is a beautifully striking comment Lisa Vanderburg

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #53

#52
Very wise insight πŸ€”

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #52

#44
There's the key word Harvey Lloyd! You said it: Heal. How, when or even if we heal, it's because we've made some sort of decision to do so within ourselves. No amount of 'justice' can plaster over that wound. It may take the perpetrator out of society's way, but I'm pretty sure it won't feel like victory for the victim. That's still a journey they have to make themselves and that's what others have to understand. I love your sensitivities, my friend.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

3 years ago #51

If only we could apply a zip tie to more of life's' problems.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #50

#47
My heart goes out to you lovely Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. Thanks for your ever-faithful openness; dilemmas are a constant where the bottom of the piggy-bank is near empty, and relationships are stretched. Not something the wealthy should worry about, yet do - how dare they, I think...?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

We all miss dear Sara Jacobovici. We need her mind and experience. Don't you agree?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#47
Great sharing and I truly appreciate the invitation of Lisa Vanderburg. Let us see what creative ideas readers shall offer. This is a genuine example of conflict between two diverging situations.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Aaaah yes. I am dealing with those sorts of conflicts now. My heart wants to help put a roof over my son's head, but I risk my own roof doing so. He's soon to be 41 and contributes to expenses secondarily. I know he is having financial difficulty, but so am I. My head says sell, but my heart does not want to abandon my son. He lives differently than I, and I want to lead my own life in my own way. He demands concessions that I do not appreciate. My head is dueling with my heart.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #46

I keep watching that pendulum....Tausif Mundrawala

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #45

#41
Nice doghouse dude!! :)

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #44

#28
What is justice to the individual? I may see justice from the outside as very clear, but the victim will ultimately decide the fate of justice. Rape is a personal crime that only the victim can decide the course of action. I want the perpetrator held accountable as i know with one there is probably more that we don't know about. Personal justice is how we decide to leverage the law in case of personal offenses. Some choose the max others ignore the injustice. Who are we to choose something so personal. In somewhat indicates your thoughts of social injustice as we exact on others our way of doing things. The victim will live with their choice forever. It will be but a footnote on own lives. For me i support the victims choices so that they can heal according to their faith and time. I am quite sure we have all, many times, been quiet when we should be saying something publicly, that would be detrimental to ourselves. This choice should be afforded to the victim. #39 offers the greatest view of moving forward, with or without justice as seen from the bleachers.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#41
You know how to create your calmness Harvey Lloyd

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #42

Where's Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich especially; warriors both!

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #41

#33
Hey i want want to throw me against the wall. Conviction is tough. #36 I may be on the field of battle for many reasons, we need not judge those reasons, we are there. Sometimes it ain't pretty but we are counted within the legions. As to the rubber room Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee i am already there with sleep sofa and big screen tv. Also known as the dog house.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #40

#38
Of course! Both you and Harvey Lloyd are both subject to my #30 'Cute Aggression'....might need a little help :) Cyndi wilkins #29 - that is a conversation to look forward to! Preferably in this life, as I sure as shite ain't coming back :)

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #39

#28
You bring a strong and necessary flavor to the table Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt. I do not presume to answer to the particulars of crime and punishment, if there is any at all. But I do want to say something about rape, butchery and depravity, seeing as others have also mentioned their views. Justice is elusive and slippery. Unreasonable, if not impossible as it sounds, forgiveness is the only chance for healing of the victims and families. Not saying I could or would, but if one has to keep living.....

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#36
We are all humans and the biggest virtue is to admit making mistakes. That you do Lisa Vanderburg is a sign of your top-grade maturity and even if you throw me as well against the wall. I am sure you shall do with tenderness.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#35
You are wise dear Proma \ud83d\udc1d Nautiyal. Yes, if we endure our problems and accept them calmly we may relax and think of creative solutions. I say this because at this age I have experienced this many times. We may allow the conflict and tension go spiral unless we have the "strength of will".

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #36

#21
I acknowledge with gratitude your statement Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee , and the gravity of Harvey's "In the setting of discontent cycles, what is your zip tie''? In truth (and I'm not shy or proud about it), I do what I do because it is the only choice available to me. I've said it before: love is a choice. But I could also add many translucent layers atop that like, 'who else would do it, what would I do instead, how could I live with myself'? These are 'me' questions and that's just selfish. But I'm so far from saintly; I often resent this usurper and that will occasionally overflow on the man imprisoned. I admit that freely and with regret, but it'll happen again.

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

Proma 🐝 Nautiyal

3 years ago #35

I agree Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...whatever curve ball life throws at us, we always have another option. It is difficult to adopt the less obvious and creative choices as the heart is less inclined to change as compared to the mind, like you rightly pointed out, but it is not impossible. Strength of will is something that helps come out of these extreme and trying situations.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#33
It depends of what material the wall is made of Lisa Vanderburg. I hope it is made of rubber.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #33

#20
Cable-ties (or zip-ties) are da bomb - best invention since clothes-pegs Harvey Lloyd - I LOVE them!! It takes me so long to respond that I haven't even acknowledged your: 'This situational cycle of discontent seems to always have a closet component that we never quite see but lean on very heavily. Looking for greener pastures or in the meme The grass is always greener on the other side.' This is so very true, we seem perpetually surprised when shit happens. I think trying to outsmart and anticipate makes us (me anyhoo) more jaded. More to the point, does knowing or unknowing make any difference at all? Ultimately, as you said in #18, we have a choice. Seems to me if the choice we make is without sacrifice, then we never really chose at all. Wise man! I could listen to you all day AND want to throw you against a wall :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#28
I don't believe we have disagreement Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt #11. This doesn't mean ignoring the problem my friend. It only means that should it happen then how to deal with it is the begging question. If we can turn our pain to lessen the pain of others would not this be fulfilling?

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #31

#27
Nope. Mercifully we are all hormonally-challenged to love our offspring. Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee my friend, have you seen babies that are so beautiful they could make you weep? Then you'll have also seen babies that are....not so cute. Mercifully, their parents will not agree!! :)

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #30

Still prattling Cyndi wilkins, not at you, but WITH you :) Furthermore....my eldest child (the one that asked about what the world was like when it was black and white) is a sweet, funny and adorable fella. He asked me around age 6, ashamed and with great worry, 'when I see a baby chick I want to throw it against a wall....why...am I bad?' Of course, he never did do that, but it was curious; I knew what he meant. Have you heard of Cute Aggression? The phenomenon documented by two Yale graduates, Rebecca Dyer and Oriana Aragon, in 2012. Turns out that it's both metaphysical and a universal psychological phenomenon. That cute chick causes a surge of the feel-good hormone, dopamine. Because we can't do anything, adrenaline (famous for fight or flight) follows, leading to this odd, but normal response. Complicated, ain't we ?

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #29

#26
I would not say that we are inherently 'bad' Lisa Vanderburg, but I do believe we come into being with all of our 'inherent flaws'...otherwise there would have been no need to incarnate in the first place...but that leads us to a whole different discussion so I will leave you with this...We are here to make peace within ourselves first, and everything we see playing out before us is an opportunity to do just that;-)

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #28

Such ambivalence is a compounded outcome of countless factors preconditioned into our society and it has more to do with behaviour. As human beings we develop the resolve to move on , but then it gets quashed by negligence, shaming, injustice etc. Justice and Access to healthcare, law and order etc are imperative. People who are suffering something are tormented on all fronts by society. Very few people give them relief. What you present are facts of life but this is the first buzz where i shall strongly disagree with you regarding the example of creative solutions. Rape is a serious criminal offence, i think you ought to clarify the solution as a recovery for the victim but not an alternative which maybe used by an already deformed society to suppress justice. I say so because this was the very story of an acid victim glorified in india for having started such an initiative and contributong to other acid victims. But she hasnt recieved justice and such acts still prevail in her area. The perpetrators are scot free.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#26
Is it not this partly because you were born a nice baby Lisa Vanderburg?

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #26

Well I have to say Cyndi wilkins, darlin' love, I can't agree that we will ever become civilized enough to quell our barbarous nature. Take a perfectly ordinary baby. By the age of ONE, they know conceptually the difference between right and wrong. We know this; we've seen it....we're MOTHERS :) We set up boundaries: no going up the stairs, no hands on the fire hearth, no this & that. The child KNOWS this very quickly. How?...we're not demonstrating ourselves in an angry or forceful manner. We've just said (a number of times) 'no' in an assertive and calm manner. He looks at us as he is inevitably drawn to the lines-he-may-not-cross, and that is conscious acknowledgement of 'good v bad'. The child will continually try and push that barrier, not to irritate, but to reinforce and, of course, feed a natural curiosity. I mean, have you even been a passenger in a car and wondered how it would feel to just open the door and step out at high speed? I have - not a compulsion....mere curiosity. Fundamentally, at the most base level, we are flawed. That means we are more animal than we care to admit. We are inherently 'bad'; it's our parenting that teaches us 'good'.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I invite Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher to these discussions because I believe they are of relevance to her.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #24

#21
Lisa Vanderburg is a courageous player in the life we live. There are two stations in life, on the field of battle attempting to find peace, or on the sidelines wondering whats wrong with the world. Lisa is on the field, challenging her existence through each skirmish. Anyone who is on the field is where they are to be. For those who sit within the stands because they see greener pastures or wish to avoid life's confrontations, well.......... i believe we all have our thoughts as we battle. Lisa your battle is worthy and admired.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#20
You fill my heart with delight Harvey Lloyd. This is the reason I urged the readers to watch the video to understand better the buzz. I screened many video before opting to use this one. I doubt it very much if you would not expand on this idea ","In the setting of discontent cycles, what is your zip tie"?. This is a deep question. So deep that it needs a great diver to dive into.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#19
Your sharing has a special sweet taste dear Harvey Lloyd

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
An incredible comment once again Harvey Lloyd. I am not leaking a secret because Lisa wrote about it. It is her looking after her husband and the many health problems he is having. Lisa surely wants to live her life, but she stood by her husband. She didn't runaway from her responsibilities. She finds value in serving her husband's needs. This is why she is at peace with herself. I don't wish to dwell more on this issue unless Lisa feels she wants to. The irony in your last line Harvey is truly disturbing. Abandonment is on the daily menu in our lives. We aren't only throw-away societies; like wise we are progressively becoming abandonment societies. How bitter and sour facts prevail in our lives is truly disturbing.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #20

#17
My mind was sent whirring when i watched the pendulum video. But what i found interesting was the zip tie used to control the pendulums different potentials. Pivot points, weight, gravity and the hinge point, and potential energy created by the person, all played a factor in the pendulum's swing. But the creative force was actaully where and how the placement of the zip tie controlled the swing within the parameters. It begs the very cliche question,"In the setting of discontent cycles, what is your zip tie"?

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #19

The cycle of discontent and the minds trap of cycles. Great piece By Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #18

We learned this past weekend that our neighbor's father is deteriorating in health and requires 24 hour attention. The daughter is angry. The cycle of discontent has now started. The father is robbing her of time with her own family, the brother is not being proactive and no one seems to understand her cycle. All that she said is most likely true. But the cycle is hers and no one else's. This is a choice we all make to engage with the cycle by entertaining the grass is greener someplace else. There is peace and joy in staying with our commitments. Sometimes we need to dig deeper to try and gather our perseverance and courage. Life through people both loved ones and social act upon us, sometimes emotionally sometimes physically. This proverbial "valley of death" is our journey and we can find light within. The valley is a long walk when we blame and become bitter. Its also lonely. It gets even lonelier when we abandon the valley for the greener pasture. The first leap is really the tough one to the greener pasture. Subsequent leaps though become easier and more frequent. The first leap is held back by the fact abandoning our principles or loved ones is such a horrid thing to even think about. But once we make it, the future of more abandonment will leave us at the altar of lonely in a permanent fashion. It is always best to go on the quest before us as it will lead to wisdom and life satisfaction. No one else will understand this choice these days as the abandoning of one's life for another, it seems, is the menu of the day.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#14
I don't mind if I am the bare-footed person if that means meeting with you Harvey Lloyd. In your distinguished comment there is a great line "This situational cycle of discontent seems to always have a closet component that we never quite see but lean on very heavily". This is a buzz on its own. When we are situated at the extremes we feel very uncomfortable. We try to get out of this situation by several ways such as making quick decisions, making false assumptions, twisting facts, taking one side of the extreme position and other deceiving solutions. Therefore, I am extremely happy that you noticed the importance of creativity in finding solutions to these thorny situations. I really enjoy reading the juice of your mind Harvey.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#15
Believe me it is a real story dear Lisa Vanderburg. Sometimes being too defensive (going to the extreme of the pendulum) throws us out of balance and drags our beloved ones into the same fate. Yes, the mother not only ruined her life, but also the life of her daughter.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #15

#9
See? That's the mother being manipulative of the daughter; learned behaviour, and it's wrong. It is so horribly easy to ruin a perfectly good child. Favoritism, inappropriate secretiveness, age-inappropriate 'teaching' - all these are not the worst, but can leave a festering wound that may turn innocence into cruelty later in life.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #14

The cycle of discontent or as @Ian Weinberg discusses the "helpless hopeless cycle". But would imagine that this cycle you discuss is situational. Life brings us new experiences both good and bad. Our engagement with life almost predicates this cycle will visit within us at some point and often. This situational cycle of discontent seems to always have a closet component that we never quite see but lean on very heavily. Looking for greener pastures or in the meme The grass is always greener on the other side. For a time the grass will be greener if we neglect the right thing to do within the discontent. But eventually the grass will require fertilizing, watering and general maintenance just like the cycle we left required. You have stitched together some very eclectic situations under a single roof most effectively. You mention the word creative in your final sentence and i believe this is the key to discontent cycles that are situational. We need to get creative before they occur. We know they are coming, because we exist, think and act upon our environment. I thought my life was bad as i had no shoes and my feet ached all the time, until i met a man with no feet.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#11
This is a delightful and very thoughtful comment Cyndi wilkins to comment on your comment. Manjit referred to the pioneering activists who may change society. I think he shall find your comment, as I did, of great relevance to the buzz and discussions here.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#10
Self-helping may be the only answer to your thorough question Debesh Choudhury

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #11

"So is the case of the raped girl. In one incident a raped girl started a new brand of sports shoes in which she donated a certain percentage of her profits to help girls who suffered from rape. Solving the problem of others puts our feelings and thoughts in harmony." Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee This is exactly the kind of shift in perception necessary to change the trajectory of our collision course with self-destruction...It reminds me of the story of John Walsh and the work he has done on "America's Most Wanted"...This man and his family suffered the tremendous and brutal loss of their young son to a vicious child predator...a trauma that would destroy the very fabric of the strongest among us...and yet he has turned trauma into triumph by focusing his pain on the capture of brutal criminals and putting them where they belong...Behind bars. If more of us are able to do this...turn trauma into triumph...eventually trauma loses it's power over us and disappears...eventually there will come a day when humanity no longer requires being traumatized to create change...they way we continue to be today...

Debesh Choudhury

Debesh Choudhury

3 years ago #10

Helping others give wonderful feelings .. but who will help to fight the emotional mind growing violent inside?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
Great comment dear Lisa Vanderburg and a great quote as well. Yes, we have love and hatred in our hearts. The other day I met an old friend who complained about his adult daughter. " I love her because she is my daughter, but I hate her for she reports to her mom all my activities". Honestly, this is what he said. The daughter in order to protect her mother reports all "activities" of her father to her mother. That she is creating trouble between her parents is beyond her realization.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #8

Fascinating...on so many levels, and I feel quite exposed by it Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Chaos is the natural order of things; the heart rate variability, for example. Why then, would we expect our hearts and wonts to be subject to harmony? But we do find order - at a price. I must think on this some more...... β€œBeauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and the devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man.” β€” Fyodor Dostoevsky

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#5
I am truly honored stephan metral \ud83d\udc1d Innovative Brand Ambassador. COuld you please share the link? You are so kind and appreciative.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#4
CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit- what to say when I feel my heart is bleeding? You are spot on. Those activists that you refer to are the pioneers and they are rarity. They are willing to stand up for their beliefs because the society sees them as noise. But it is in the noise that we ignore that we may disrupt the society to move forward. Some activists declined they role because they were in struggle of what they believe in and the opposition of a large sector of the society. The hypocrites view them as odd people and launch campaigns against them. In democracy we fuel wars so as to sell arms. In dictatorship we have people who lost their feelings completely and decided for using force to keep their power. These people don't have the ambivalence because they dropped feelings to humanity and opted for radical solutions. We need activists who can stand swimming against the tide and are brave enough to find their delight in turning peoples' lives around.

stephan metral 🐝 Innovative Brand Ambassador

A mix format by Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee shared in MybeBeeTV!

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #4

This is why there is a term called "count your blessings". The horrible reality that lurks on the underbelly of many lives is a toxin that would shatter the well controlled fabric of society. In societies like Syria this ugliness surfaces and the cruelties human beings are capable of are revealed and then for many years the good people are the victims of that, and in the West we largely tune out these atrocities. The compromises that are made for the name of success and an orderly society are far greater than we collectively realize, but our blessings often stem from millions of people recognizing the greater good in their compromise. At a certain point a particular crime against humanity becomes too visible for us to ignore, and then a few good people spoke out are joined by a chorus of society who now acknowledge that situation. This is why the role of activists should be honoured because it is the few that stand against the compromises that we collectively engage in, but there is always a tipping point and it is in these tipping points or changing of the guard when society moves an inch closer towards humanity and an inch further removed from compromises that are a hidden part of existence. Activists deal with these compromises on a daily basis, speaking out and making their views known as they try to organize for change even when change does not come, but there are fat cats who speak about compromises but as the privileged, for they can afford to look humanitarian, when their true face is actually one of hypocrisy often fueled and fed by investing in spiritual ego. How people put this spiritual ego on a pedestal, while fearing the activist - speaks volumes to collective compromise.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #3

i do believe sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee surprisingly unity of thought exist.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#1
Thank you dear Debasish Majumder. Since both of us addressed the rape issue in our buzzes I am surprised at this synchronicity. What stimuli would five or more people have that drive them to rape a young girl in her young age, as reported in your buzz: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@debasish-majumder/empowerment-of-women-a-confusing-statement That I don't know.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #1

i am in quandary whether rape victim is approving the atrocities being performed by men by resorting to her own design of solving problem? equally woman having a cripple husband only being driven by mundane physical pleasure? i wonder, how external stimuli large being emanated from the respective classes they belong plays a pivotal role, driving them to compromise with the available situations they are confronting! however, Great buzz sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the share sir.

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