Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

4 years ago Β· 2 min. reading time Β· visibility ~10 Β·

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Breaking off for a Reason

Breaking off for a Reason

We break off relationship and drop off our social contacts. I noticed that I have no more contacts with virtual friends with home I exchanged many comments and ended in losing contacts completely with them.

We drop off social platforms. I contributed more than two hundred posts to LinkedIn (LI); however since joining beBee as of February 2016 I didn’t contribute a single post to LI.

We drop off memories of people we were so closed to and only to end up breaking off with them and their memories.

Is there a purpose for dropping off memories with people as if they never existed? The idea of animals dropping off parts of their bodies or trees dropping off their leaves popped up. Do animals do it for a reason? This question started my journey towards exploring and finding the hidden facts of drooping off whatever we drop off.

The hairy frog breaks its toe bones when threatened by a predator. This breakage punctures the skin of the frog allowing for a set of cat-like claws to appear. The video below explains this process with great illustrations.


Recently, squids first attack their predators and then retreat leaving behind the tip of its own arm that the squid breaks off intentionally. This is to confuse the predator and make the false feeling that the retreating squid is still nearby.

We humans do it sometimes to give the fake feelings that we are still around. For example, we leave a social platform, but make short visits occasionally and tick one or two likes to give the feeling that we are still around when in fact we have retreated.

Lizards play a game with us. If you hold a lizard in your hand and open it shortly afterwards you might only find the tail of the lizard in your hand. The lizard breaks off its tail to escape and it is able to regenerate the tail afterwards.

We humans do it as we hold memories and when we open our minds we only find the β€œtailings” of those memories. They escape and only we think the memories have gone. It is amazing how capable we are humans in regenerating sad memories and the way these memories are capable to regenerate themselves even though we hold their tails in our hands. We think we dropped the past without realizing we keep regenerating them. Our histories are full of old memories that we keep reminding ourselves with. What is gone is gone. Apparently, the echo of the past is stronger than us. Forgive, but don’t forget. This sounds truer because we tend not to forget what we pretend to forgive.

Eagles break off their beaks to live longer and regenerate new bodies. It is pain that extends their lives. It is painful to break off some of our human habits, but this could be the way to extend a meaning to our lives and rejuvenate them.

This is in accordance with the great comment that @Lisa Vanderburg made on my previous buzz β€œShells of Wisdom”. In her comment Lisa wrote β€œBut is that not like life itself? The best comes from hardship, mistakes, pain (think childbirth) - this is how we fashion our own scars, our own build-up of resilience and fortification that hones us to become more durable and often, more 'human.

When your break off with a memory then what purpose does it serves?


"
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Comments

#125
siraj shaik- it doesn't matter if my name doesn't highlight for your comment does with brilliance. I am very busy now, but later today I shall respond to your penetrating and probing comment.

#123
divion and separation or red\ctioni are growing trends indeed Pamela \ud83d\udc1d Williams. See how countries are splitting. Natureworks differently except for a reason.

#121
Your observations are spot on . Don't forget also other "motives" such as those connections who claimed people-before-profit to tun out profit-before people. They suck blood and run away. I agree with all your points. What I think? I expressed this in a post on "Twitter selfishness index" https://www.slideshare.net/hudali15/twitter-selfishness-index Same applies for any social media platforms. One behavior to reflect more on this is having a contact who tags me to every post he writes and he has never even liked any of my posts. Opportunism exists, however; I am happy they are less damaging than those thieves who connect like a dove and ending eating up their connections.

Louise Smith

4 years ago #102

#36
" But what we leave behind in each meaningful relationship dear Ali, is a little piece of our heart. " What a great way to think Thank you Praveen Raj Gullepalli

#118
Thank you my friend Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic and I guess you are right on the embarrassment factor. However; correcting for it needs courage. I still hope that waters would reverse their direction with him.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

4 years ago #100

#114
Yes, I've heard of that scandal with Brad on LI. Although I have a very positive approach to life and people (even negative ones), I'm not naive and never ever paid someone for something on social media. I'm sorry for your friend. And the brightest minds get cheated by such fraudsters. I think he felt embarrassed that he did not believe you. Also, it takes time to heal a bruised ego. Maybe he'll try to reach you again one day. Thank you for considering me your friend. :-)

Seeds of drifting..🐍 that would make a great pshycho movie..lol

@Ali "Drifters" , people with no real drives, usually they don't think straight, no rules of ethics because they cultivate for a long by the time we speak a complete lack of care for others.Despotic and narcissistic they develop sometime with a pseudo style a rethoric they think bright but doesn't fool who studied semantics. Too many Savvy words an hype sentences to appear cool betray in fact a deep wound of the psyche. Never healed or taken care of. After decades of drifting they take that to the grave. They are not the issue in fact, much as terrorism, who did they infected with drifter philosophy meanwhile.

#112
My friend Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic- I agree and find your comment very practical. Though we should always be aware of people who have brilliance in making people trust them and then turn out to be thieves. You know of the scandal of the so called Brad on LI who announced a great conference on people before profit and what eventually ended in a sad case. I was aware soon enough of the thief's intentions and shied away from making any payments. I warned few of my friends of my suspicion and only to cut off connection with me. In one case the response from a great thinker with whom I built many bridges replied to me "I booked my flight to the conference on day .). Since then I have had no contacts with him. Till this moment I feel sad for the loss of a great mind. We all have our experiences that shape our lives.

I agree and find your comment very practical. Though we should always be aware of people who have brilliance in making people trust them and then turn out to be thieves. You know of the scandal of the so called Brad on LI who announced a great conference on people before profit and what eventually ended in a sad case. I was aware soon enough of the thief's intentions and shied away from making any payments. I warned few of my friends of my suspicion and only to cit off connection with me. In one case the response from a great thinker with whom I built many bridges replied to me "I booked my flight to the conference on day .). Since then I have had no contacts with him. Till this moment I feel sad for the loss of a great mind. We all have our experiences that shape our lives.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

4 years ago #94

Dear Ali, I came late to this thread and managed to read only a part of the comments. I always try to remember the good times in my life and keep the tail of good memories, although it's not so easy to get rid of sad, ugly and painful memories we have had in our life. I think it largely depends on our nature. If we have a positive approach to life and tend to seek positive in humans, we'll more likely be able to forgive but also to forget. And I speak from my point of view and my experiences. As for dropping off our social contacts, I've also had some virtual friends with whom I've lost touch as if they never existed. On the other hand, there are many others with whom I socialize regularly, and for a long time on different platforms through sharing and commenting, but never have had any other contacts like emails or phone calls, and we never developed deeper connectivity. Such relationship, no matter how long-lasting, isn't the same as friendship. I have friends I know all my life, and even though we don't see each other often lately our friendship still endures because we know we can rely on each other if needed. So far, I never managed to bridge the gap between SM and the real world where online friends (people I've met only on social media) became the friends in real life. I'm on the road to make this happen on beBee. My husband has had a different and positive experience. He uses only specific oriented Facebook groups dealing with Malacology where he met many people from all around the world. Some of them have become his real life friends, and they even visited us with their families.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

4 years ago #93

Dear Ali, I came late to this thread and managed to read only a part of the comments. I always try to remember the good times in my life and keep the tail of good memories, although it's not so easy to get rid of sad, ugly and painful memories we have had in our life. I think it largely depends on our nature. If we have a positive approach to life and tend to seek positive in humans, we'll more likely be able to forgive but also to forget. And I speak from my point of view and my experiences. As for dropping off our social contacts, I've also had some virtual friends with whom I've lost touch as if they never existed. On the other hand, there are many others with whom I socialize regularly, and for a long time on different platforms through sharing and commenting, but never have had any other contacts like emails or phone calls, and we never developed deeper connectivity. Such relationship, no matter how long-lasting, isn't the same as friendship. I have friends I know all my life, and even though we don't see each other often lately our friendship still endures because we know we can rely on each other if needed. So far So far, I never managed to bridge the gap between SM and the real world where online friends (people I've met only on social media) became the friends in real life. I'm on the road to make this happen on beBee. My husband has had a different and positive experience. He uses only specific oriented Facebook groups dealing with Malacology where he met many people from all around the world. Some of them have become his real life friends, and they even visited us with their families.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

4 years ago #92

Dear Ali, I came late to this thread and managed to read only a part of the comments. I always try to remember only the good times in my life and keep the tail of good memories, although it's not so easy to get rid of the sad, ugly and painful memories we had in our life. I think it largely depends on our nature. If we have a positive approach to life and tend to seek positive in humans, we'll more likely be able to forgive but also to forget. And I speak from my point of view and my experiences. As for dropping off our social contacts, I've also had some virtual friends with whom I've lost touch as if they never existed. On the other hand, there are many others with whom I socialize regularly, and for a long time on different platforms through sharing and commenting, but never have had any other type of contacts like emails or phone calls, and we never developed deeper connectivity. Such relationship isn't the same as friendship. I have friends I know all my life, and even though we don't see each other often lately our friendship still endures because we know we can rely on each other if needed. So far I never managed to bridge the gap in which social media friends (people I've met only on SM) became the real life friends. My husband has had a different and positive experience. He uses only specific Facebook groups dealing with Malacology where he met many people from all around the world. Some of them have become his real life friends, and they visited us with their families.

#107
you are so kind dear Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher. Yes as beBee in particular helped us make living and meaningful bonds between us

#104
thank you stephan metral \ud83d\udc1d Innovative Brand Ambassador and Iyour use of the word drifterd is sound and metamorphical

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #89

#88
I think if we had high expectations, it could backfire. I like to really get to know someone and then if/when we meet, go into it feeling like it's just another layer to the relationship. I'm so glad you enjoyed my family video and I welcome you as part of my family! There are so many wonderful ways many of us have bonded on here and I would not trade my time for anything because it's all been worth while and continues to be. Thanks for being a friend, dear Ali.

Technically add a space bar kick after links to b sure! Because click through matters when quality content is at stake😎😎😎😎😎🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

#93
your link didn't t glue.jajajjaja here is the shortcut to the Post https://is.gd/mK39BI

#102
What you say is very true Ali, how many times per week do we witness some hypocrisy here and then by the same "drifters". It is not about the connections or social media...it is in people in depth nature... And we cannot do anything ...except zapping...

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #85

#101
Thank you, Sara, for the clarification and for the opportunity to clarify what I am saying. Which is not, as Ali implies, that people are different on social media and off. What I am saying is that the structure and ethos of social media encourages people to be, if you like, a-typically naive when making connections. My experience is that many people who are discerning and careful in the "real" world about developing relationships become "babes in the woods" on social media, where, if anything, an even higher level of discernment is needed. My original comment to Ali was, in effect, a suggestion that he is perhaps expecting too much of some of the "relationships" formed on social media. My best to both of you.

#101
Sara Jacobovici- m;y last word iis that the quantity of people we contact with. on social platform increases and hence the risk you mentioned in your comment. As for the quality I can safely say that I am the same person on and off social platforms. If a person is dishonest off them then he is the same in reality. Trust doesn't have two faces changing with place and time and so I am in agreement with you.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #83

#100
I really want you to have the last word Phil Friedman, but I can't leave the readers with the impression that we agree. I do not agree with your comment. That is not what I said. I said that we make choices. I did not go on to make the judgment you just made. Regardless of whether we make those choices on social media or "off line", how we choose and the outcomes, are never formula based. The only rule of thumb about relationships is, be aware; it is always a risk, make sure you enter that relationship with your eyes open and be prepared to make changes along the way. Surprise can always occur, no matter how "knowledgeable" we are. Now...I am prepared to offer you the last word.

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #82

#98
Yes, Sara, on that last we agree. For it is prcisely my point. If you "connect" with selfers or on a superficial level, do not be surprised when you "connections" drift away. For such connections are never durable. Cheers!

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #81

#95
Agreed . And beautifully communicated...straight from the heart of a music lover. Appreciate the tag.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #80

#92
As always, I appreciate our exchanges Phil Friedman. We respectfully disagree. It is interesting to acknowledge that, just like any other community, here on social media, we choose where to be, how to be and who to connect with.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #79

#92
As always, I appreciate our exchanges Phil Friedman. We respectfully disagree. It is interesting to acknowledge that, just like any other community, heree on social media, we choose where to be, how to be and who to connect with.

#95
I love your comment and the luggage metaphor. You are right as we tend to carry a heavy luggage of the past. I used to travel with a big suitcase, but not anymore. I found that I take clothes that I don't use for many reasons including buying new ones. Upon return, I used to find my suitcase heavier than I wanted to. We make our suitcases heavier and so with our lives.

#93
As much I am eager to meet and interview you Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee. The quality of comments on this buzz reflects the value of beBee as a virtual platform that is turning real

Javier 🐝 CR

4 years ago #76

We’re all about quality rather than quantity; we’re about people having manageable networks which mean they hopefully meet up in real life. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@javierbebee/business-networking-is-getting-more-casual

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #75

#82
I disagree, Sara Jacobovici. The very nature of social media both encourages and facilitates shallow and facile relationships. Which is not to say it prevents genuine relationships from forming. Part of the problem on social media is also the population mix, which includes such a high percentage of "selfies" (not the photo or video type, but the people, IMO

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #74

#90
And you my dear, are a great Teacher Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee - thank you!

#89
My dear friend Lisa Vanderburg- I read your wonderful buzz and commented on it without fear. You are such a great soul.

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #72

https://www.bebee.com/producer/@lisa-vanderburg/re-making-season This is for you and all your followers of which I'm the runt :) Thank you always my friend Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#84
Lovely comment and I felt a news reel running in front of my eyes. Like you said, I feel there are people I want to meet in person having had long chats with them. I wonder if this could fireback sometimes as we build high expectations before meeting. I liked the line of your comment that if we don't move on we stagnate. This is very true. Confining ourselves to certain groups may limit us. I have commented on your family video, which you have shared presumably today. Watching the video of your family photos reminded me of the many buzzes that you wrote about your mother. I felt I am a part of your family. This is an amazing feeling because we haven't met in person and yet I got the feeling of belonging. Sometimes, social media may create real bonds as Sara Jacobovici mentioned in her last comment. May be it is how we communicate and the tone of our communication that weigh heavily regardless on what media we communicate.

#83
I hope that dear @Sara Jacobovici would respond to the paradox I mentioned in my comment#81. I am glad that these discussions inspired you with an idea for a buzz and I look forward to reading it my dear Tricia Mitchell

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #69

#85
I understand Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee to what you may be referring to. From my experience, how I connect, the quality of the relationships, the length or how they come and go, is the same now on social media as it has been "off line". There are people on social media that I am connected with more than my next door neighbour. I think that what social media has done is expand the quantity and territory of our social pool, but not the potential for "authentic" relationships...or not.

#82
In reviewing my relationships here on beBee dear Sara Jacobovici. I lost all contacts with him as he is no more present on beBee. It took time to develop this friendship, but losing it for whatever reason seems easy. Hence, I refer to the volatility of new relations whether on social media or not. May be you have different experience than i.

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #67

Hi Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, there is a lot of truth contained within this buzz. If we weren't able to move on, we would stagnate. Death is the toughest mental pain we can experience. Pain is necessary to remind us (possibly) of how important love is- continue to love those who surround us with their love deeply. I had no idea an Eagle does that with it's beak. I've met so many wonderful people on beBee. I have to say Linkedin played a large role because had I not met John White, I may not have met Javier and all of you on beBee. Like you mentioned below Ali, you wish you could read everyone's buzzes... me too. There isn't enough time in the day and since I spend most of my time on beBee after 11 or 12 midnight, I think I miss many who posted much earlier. I'm a Scorpio and we don't forget easily at all if we've been treated in a wicked manner. I can forgive but that's for my own well being because holding a grudge just hurts the person themselves. There are many things I can forgive and forget and there are other things I will never forget. I have many good virtual friends and we can go long periods of time without talking and pick up where we left off. I've also been fortunate to speak to quite a few on the phone that I met on beBee and I will be meeting Pamela \ud83d\udc1d Williams in Oct for a week long Oceanfront vacation. It will be the first time we meet. We've been talking for months. I feel like I've known her my entire life. She's in the process of moving and has been putting in 12 hr days in case people have been missing her!

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #66

#80
I know I am cutting into this discussion late gentlemen, Phil Friedman but I'm going to cut in anyway ;-) Social media does not take credit for "shallow and facile exchanges" between or among people. These type of exchanges have taken place since the beginning of dialogue, face to face or page to page. All criteria for what constitutes "real or fake" friendships, relationships or connections have not changed with the appearance of social media networks. The old rules still apply.

#80
I shall be unconventional in my response, Phil, and say I beg to differ. With this illumination I totally agree with you. In this age of distraction genuine friendship of the past are becoming even less possible. I agree that genuine friendship stay and pass the test of time. We see this in marriages where love turn to friendship, but also more in an increasing trend to divorce. I noticed that the number of divorces exceeded the number of marriages in two Arab countries and may be more.

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #64

#74
the problem, Ali, as I see it, is that we tend to mistake for friendship the generally shallow and facile exchanges on social media. And when we do, it is easy to conclude that friendship is transient and fleeting. But those who have known genuine connection and friendship, which are hard-won and rare to begin with, know the truth. A sand castle built at the water's edge is often washed away, but a rock remains steadfastly where it is planted. If we choose to build only sand castles, then we will end up standing alone on a barren shore. Cheers!

#78
I am amazed by your sharp mind and the consequential steps of your analysis. All I can say here is extracted from your comment "what we resist persists". Is this a good reason for me to resist your friendship so that it may persist? What a paradox and you make me think and think. Right now, I am going to breathe in your comment.

#68
What a link to a lovely article you alerted us in your comment dear Tricia Mitchell! Of relevance to your comment and other comments here is the ending paragraph of the article: "A sea anemone simply lives in the moment. People, however have thoughts, memories and consciousness that they want to retain. Keeping these bright and present in our regenerating bodies may not be something the anemone can help with. "That," says Rokhsar, "is a much taller order"". Do we need to live in the moment? If so, we need to keep many memories to stay fresh and not age? Are memories a stress? You and the article open new dimension for the discussion

#73
I go by the saying, "Change is Constant." If people do not change with the ebb and flow, friendships can be lost. People often rely merely on their histories. History can be pleasant, but the Now is more important.

#72
I don't disagree, but on general how many of our old friends do we still keep Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee?

#69
Thank you Phil Friedman and I agree that some friendship hold a strong and nostalgic memories that are deeply rooted. The question is two pronged- are trends moving towards weaker or stronger bonds and if loyalty of friendship is decreasing or not. There are friendship bonds that shall survive the test of time, but what percentage? If friendship is an ordered state then thermodynamics play in favor of chaotic bonds. I mean solid friendships that tend to melt and then evaporate.

I wish if we make a graph on the strength of human bonds and how they change over time. I agree with you Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee but the question do we now make friendships with strong roots to stand the test of time? Loyalty is decreasing in general and I tend to believe the same holds true for human relations.

I must agree with Phil. There was recently a 7-month absence between a friend of 35 years and I. We took up like we didn't miss a beat. It's as if time stood still.

Phil Friedman

4 years ago #56

With all due respect, Ali, I suggest to you that those who have truly "connected" do not require constant contact to sustain that connection. I have genuine and deeply connected friends with whom I may fail to have contact for months even years. But when we again "touch" each other, it is as if time had not passed at all. And that, I suggest is a sign of true friendship, not what masquerades on social media for such. Cheers!

It is known that people who experience severe trauma sometimes drop people like hot potatoes. My new neurologist knew this and mentioned it. It is true I sometimes do this in the name of survival. But I cleave to memories that were created. It is a determined task. Is this something we all do to varying degrees? Probably.

#60
We are on the same wavelength as you picked the segment of the comment of Harvey Lloyd. You ended your comment with a great call to foster actions that leave behind great memories. I go all the way with you. I also agree with you that the quality of comments on this buzz are superior and we are all strengthening our memories that are great to keep. I do appreciate the way you express yourself.

#59
One of my most read presentations is a call to clean our minds cache. So, your comment resonates so strongly with me Kevin Baker. You are spot on and we need to ponder on your comment and learn our lessons.

#58
If a buzz invites for high quality comments such as yours dear then writing the buzz becomes worthy. Your comment moved my emotions and I support your call to be moderate in action. The nobility of your comment is as pure as gold.

#57
In fact I don't like friends to call me Dr. Ali and I prefer ALli for I fel titles acts as barriers and I want the free flow between us my dear Lisa Vanderburg and all commenters,. However; I don't try to conceal my love to you for you have given me the honor of connecting with your great understanding and appreciation. Without your support I would feel alone.

#56
Again, your comment is so wonderful that it speaks for itself reflecting what we all experience on this platform dear Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich. Your writing "The superpower of humans is the way we can break through the imperceptible shells we carry around of separateness and learn to know, trust, and respect an entirely different person, simply through the medium of 2-D comment boxes". This is what beBee is helping us to do and I can't find a better way to express it than what you did. I shall soon capitalize on this in a buzz.

#55
Your words are so beautiful and truthful dear Praveen Raj Gullepalli. Yes, we are all fortunate to have beBee platform to engage in such rich discussions. Your comment reflects what I feel exactly and I am most grateful to you.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #48

Dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee the comments in the buzz are outstanding. Nuggets of wisdom I proudly say. I love what Harvey says as its the same thing my mind tells me. "I have crossed many rivers with different people with varying outcomes. The question becomes did we share a journey of learning and understanding? Today it seems many take a journey for its conquest rather than its shared growth and understanding" So much wisdom, understanding and learning. The biggest and most honest question is to ask ourselves "What purpose does the memory serve?" You say "Our histories are full of old memories that we keep reminding ourselves with. What is gone is gone. Apparently, the echo of the past is stronger than us" The echo gets stronger as we build new memories that enable us to take the best learning/understanding of old experiences that gives birth to the new experiences/memories with validation of what purpose it would achieve for self and others.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

4 years ago #47

Ah, what an excellent post that both inspires me and reminds me something peculiar about our brains. With all goodness in thoughts and actions, our brains retain partial information and dislodge the remaining information. In certain circumstances, moments, places or encountering people, our brains click and we remember well. That's the merit of human life with all stability. But, when human beings become more digital beings, then there's information overload and we flip ways and turn everything messy. Life's so short but goes hectic with so many things and being unmindful we forget so many things. Let's be moderate in actions, vivid by thoughts and cheery with hopes!

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #46

#56
Darlin' Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich! Such a weave of precious weave lies just underneath his prowess. You are a LOVE, and as always , your comments are pure treasure! You're bang on about this wonderful man, Dr. Ali (even though he doesn't seem to care for titles), in saying 'Your gift of initiating discussions is absolutely unparalleled.' Wow, girlfriend...wow!

#50
I am on the same boat as you are my friend Praveen Raj Gullepalli and I wish I could comment on all buzzes that are of interest to me. This is the reason why I tag sparingly because I know readers have the same issue. Thank you again my friend for being a great help with a broad understanding.

#48
"While perusing them, he would feel something, a pain, an empathy. Then he started the healing on himself, taking full responsibility for what was going on with a given patient". This is my catch for the day my dear Tricia Mitchell. How thorough and eloquent this approach is is beyond description. I love it and we need to extend the same concept into other facets of our lives.

#47
Pain is a means of life extension- what beauty lies in this phrase Cyndi wilkins. I may add a meaningful extension as pain matures us.Forward-looking comment and I enjoyed it immensely.

#46
My lose friend Tricia Mitchell- I hope you had no doubt that I was honest and I find your writing deliciously tasting. Yes, it is meant as a deserved compliment. You always have the courage to share your own story and therefore we believe them. Sometimes I feel friend in life are like the plant bomb that is filled with seeds. As soon the bomb explodes the seeds scatter in all directions. So are friend on social media. If a seed is lucky enough it shall fall n a fertile soil as I have ended in your soil. Natures abhors vacuum and I say also may be it abhors long periods of stillness We need stillness, but then we need that shark to get us moving. Yes, your comment moved me.

As I have to attend a meeting now i shall respond later to all comments later today

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #40

It is interesting to consider pain as a means of ;life extension' ...as in the pain involved when breaking free of relationships, memories or old habits that no longer serve our growth...Growth itself is painful...but one must consider the agony of a life lived in complacency...We become so comfortable with our 'conditions' that it takes a trauma to wake us from our slumber...and when we have left the past unchecked, meaning we have buried the old bones of trauma in the back yard...Life has a way of digging them up and making us pay attention;-)

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #39

#35
Edward Lewellen you are a great reminder of trials and tribulations. Once one is aware of a health struggle I would like to think our mirror neurons kick in and that provides us social allowance why someone is unable to participate in a particular community. When we base our existence on image rather than on being human there is the danger of people becoming objects. We can bond face-to-face, breaking bread and that is where I find great affinity in what Harvey Lloyd has also mentioned) we have create artificial cultures of relationships with fabricated constructs like political correctness and personal brand - and I reject this as superficial rather than value this as relationship. Your struggles with health are an example of something that one finds with face-to-face relationships, and that is who is left standing with us in our darkest hours. When a person loses a job, the face-to-face world can be as cold as the networked world, where the person is no longer a part of that business network finds themselves alone. This is the way of our world where meaningful relationship has been co-opted by temporal social networks. Yet we read about Sawabona and it trends. It trends???

#42
There are pearly people at all times and you are one of them dear CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. Yes, our relations are becoming mobile too and move where we move. I only hope that what stays behind is the gained wisdom which makes memories worthy. The dynamism of social platform and the almost endless ties they create among people means that the Law of Large Numbers shall operate more accurately. Few percentage of people will affect our lives to change them profoundly and these are the people we remember. The possibilities of substituting a friend with a friend is highly likely because of the nature of social media. Out of the complexity comes out some order. We group as I group with you because no matter for how long we stay in contact the learned wisdom shall stay. We don't remember everything, but we remember the things that affected us deeply. Hopefully, these shall be the sweet ones as people tend to remember the bitter ones more forcefully.

#41
I like your solid stand with yourself dear Tausif Mundrawala. I learnt my lesson long times ago. People will be attracted more to people with self-integrity. One day your lost friend shall try to reach you.

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #36

#7
What makes the virtual existence so different to the physical existence is that the virtual one scales. In the next few years billions of new people will have access to the Internet. Think about the ramifications in the possibility of associations that then arise with the arrival of the new and yet despite the massive numbers evolved (chaotic beyond belief) we still end up in a particular pattern and order. Of the names of people I remember sharing the journey with when I first entered onto the internet, only a few have re-entered the orbit of connections at LinkedIn and none of them at beBee - because they have become weak ties, connected only by a momentary association in the past. That weakening of ties presents no trauma for me. Where there may have been no so pleasant people on that journey, time (especially virtual time) heals all wounds, if not adds to our wisdom more than memory. The question isn't whether individuals relate but what happens when platforms that support that network die. That is what happened with Heath Row's Company of Friends from 1998 and Tony Perkins AlwaysOn Network from 2003 or various other networks that became obsolete or were taken over by other organizations. Then there are networks such Fred Wilson's AVC where I operated as "Emeri Gent", I knew that this community was far too specialized as a personal relationship with but it was specialized to be full of variety to learn from. If I go back to that community on odd occasions, it will still be through the "Emeri Gent" door. At the AlwaysOn community I had a small group of people I still have a connection with and the group remained small. It proliferated when I chose the "Mark Zorro" pseudonym - why certain people would find greater sense of relationship with me as Mark Zorro than my real name is not something I can readily explain other than I saw it happen. Virtually it is the nature of the network that creates its own vector.

#37
Thank you my dear Tricia Mitchell for enriching the discussions. You have your own flavor and your comments do have a distinctive taste. You remind me of a trick that the Japanese did to keep fish alive with movement. When they carried the fish in tanks they tempted to stay still because of the lack of a swimming space. To keep them moving one man suggested adding two small sharks to the tank. This way being afraid of the sharks the fish kept swimming. We swim sometimes in restricted spaces and pollute the waters of the tank. We pollute them with old habits, beliefs, assumptions, bad memories and the like. I need myself to get used to the "practice of ho'oponopono"- may be then I can respond wisely to your fulfilling comment.

#36
AMazing is that you commented dear Praveen Raj Gullepalli because I tagged you, but then decided not because I didn't want to "enforce" my self. I am truly glad that you did. I am a believer that we should give first and in due time we shall take even without expecting it. I have experienced it in my life many times. I recall my late father donating blood to many patients. He was operated and there was no enough O- blood. The person who donated the blood was somebody that my father helped few years back. With grace and gratitude I thank you.

#35
I am so happy to read a comment by you my dear friend Edward Lewellen. In fact, I never meant you because you and I had so many fruitful and memorable comments and exchanges of views. That culminating in your honoring me to write the introduction of your great book on "The 90-Seconds Manager". I forget you only if one of a twin forgets the other. You read my mind my friend . In my next buzz initially titles "Sensing Differences" I shall provide proofs of the strength of your comment. yes, and the memory needs certain weight to be effective. How do other creatures do it and what can we learn from them? I shall elaborate in my buzz for the space here is not enough to express my views.

#33
Thank you dear Harvey Lloyd. My comment is a reflection on yours and you are the one who deserves your comment. Thank you

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #31

#26
what a beautiful response. Grace is upon you dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#29
Yes, and you are correct Geoff Hudson-Searle. This why text-mining is of importance to me because it allows me to find the consistency of a person. Word clouds help because they show where a person's true interests are. It is not easy, but as much as technology deprived us from watching body language or hearing the voice tones; to some extent it gave us the tools to verify. I appreciate your feedback.

#30
You provoke my mind Sara Jacobovici to study in more depth the memory-behavior relationships. I am constrained by the comment box, but shall address in your worthy comment in a dedicated buzz. Memories are charged with emotions and emotions stir behaviors. At this moment, please allow me sometime to pause and absorb your deep comment. You raise hugely important questions "First of all, what are we supposed to remember, did we experience it, were we told about it, where is that memory? Second, it evokes the process of transcendence; achieving a level beyond the physical, we are moving into the spiritual. So behavior differs from memory". I already have a metaphor pooping up. Will address your comment with due attention very soon.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #28

#19
It's at times like these Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee that I feel confined to the comment box. At the risk of digressing for a moment, I can't imagine the generation whose experience of exchange in communication is deprived of the dimension which exists outside the comment box. Now to return to your comment Dr. Ali. My gut says that the memory you evoke in terms of war, revenge, old battles and losses, are related more to another word you use, "tolerance", rather than individual life forms dependent on bonding and attachment to thrive. The memory that we carry over is often as a response to those who want to negate, wipe out, or rewrite, our histories. We bond to individuals who have like memories in order to share the responsibilities of sustaining the "original narrative". Even if we see the 10 commandments as man written or metaphorical, it is still interesting to note that 9 out of the 10 commandments are either statements or instructions; do or do not. These relate to man's relationship with man and how to "behave" towards each other. There is only one commandment that tells us "to remember" in its first version and "to guard" in its second version; the Sabbath. We're told to remember to keep it holy. First of all, what are we supposed to remember, did we experience it, were we told about it, where is that memory? Second, it evokes the process of transcendence; achieving a level beyond the physical, we are moving into the spiritual. So behavior differs from memory. This distinction is important when we are looking at how to sift through our memories.

Geoff Hudson-Searle

4 years ago #27

As human beings, our only real method of connection is through authentic communication. Studies show that only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language. Indeed, it’s only when we can hear a tone of voice or look into someone’s eyes that we’re able to know when β€œI’m fine” doesn’t mean they’re fine at all. Engrossed with technology, anyone can hide behind the text, the e-mail, the Facebook post, or the tweet, projecting any image they want and creating an illusion of their choosing. They can be whoever they want to be. And without the ability to receive nonverbal cues, their audiences are none the wiser. This presents an unprecedented paradox. With all the powerful social technologies at our fingertips, we are more connected – and potentially more disconnected – than ever before. Every relevant metric shows that we are interacting at fast speed and frequency through social media. But are we really communicating? With 93% of our communication context stripped away, we are now attempting to forge relationships and make decisions based on phrases. Abbreviations. Snippets. Emoticons. Which may or may not be accurate representations of the truth.

#17
Thank you dear Sara Jacobovici for your very thoughtful sharing of the buzz. Special thanks are due to all bees who shared the buzz as well.

#25
The discussions on this buzz are exemplary of the solid foundation of a friendly platform that glues us to it because of the way Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee and all the beBee are striving to make it so.

#23
Thank you for taking me on a "fractal journey" Harvey Lloyd. In strange attractors never two points intersect each others' trajectory. They are bound to the boundaries of the strange attractor, but never cross paths. "Today it seems many take a journey for its conquest rather than its shared growth and understanding". You said it all in this great segment of your comment. The issue is more learning and understanding. That is the noble goal. I attend to this very attentively. We need to build on what we know to create a strange attractor. It doesn't matter if we don't meet; what matters most is that we are within a bounded space and that our paths together form the attractor. If not, chaos initiates.

Javier 🐝 CR

4 years ago #23

#12
Lisa Vanderburg I love beBee because I find genuine people. I meet them as soon as I can (an example: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@javierbebee/business-networking-is-getting-more-casual ). I can say I really have a lot of friends here. On beBee, respect is a MUST. We remove those disrepectful accounts ( the opposite of other social platforms ). I do love genuine people, humans.

#16
I did the job for you dear Lisa Vanderburg to the discussions.

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #21

"A man can never cross the same river twice." Although this qoute can be applied to us as individuals, it can also help us understand that we all are crossing rivers at different times. I have crossed many rivers with different people with varying outcomes. The question becomes did we share a journey of learning and understanding? Today it seems many take a journey for its conquest rather than its shared growth and understanding. I dont believe we can travel with one another forever. Each journey takes each to a different places. The only journey that is forever is family. Our memories are great and sometimes sad. The amazing part is when we can see the seed that was planted by another and its growth in us when we cross the river for the second time, with someone else.. We are made of the journeys we take and the people we encounter along the way. We are not abandoning old realationships but forging new ones with the wisdom of previous encounters.

#18
I agree fully with you dear Sara Jacobovici in my comment.

#15
I am sure Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee. Your comments are so deep, honest and reflect on what goes on social platforms. I have so much to say; for this moment I pause in what you wrote in your first comment (#12 ) and I quote you "Wow,that smarts...because it's TRUE. Those that threaten us (particularly our reputation) on social platforms are are not readily forgiven, and we don't forget: ever. I'm fairly sure it has to do with the transient nature of interactions and our rather 'short-lived' existence there". I beg dear Sara Jacobovici to reflect on this as she is the one who first mentioned bonding for survival. You Lisa highlight the controversy of seeking survival and yet act in ways that jeopardize our survival. Will very soon talk again

#15
I shall start first by highlighting the names that you tagged in your comment dear Lisa Vanderburg because they aren't highlighted in your comment. I shall not repeat names that I have already tagged. Joanne Gardocki

#14
Thank you dear @Sara jacobovici for every comment or buzz you write invokes new ideas in my mind. Surely I recall your mentioned buzzes as they prompted me afterwards to nickname you deservedly "The Queen of Paradoxes". Yes, your analysis is profound and we need to bond emotionally as well as physically to survive the day we were in the fetuses of our mothers. I tagged you for this comment for a reason. You know that sometimes we invoke memories that eventually lead to peace or war. Post World i and 2 wars the Europeans had horrible memories which keep them very cautious of warring again. On the other hand, some nations invoke memories that renew old enmities. I don't want to give examples, but the history of the Middle East region is rich with examples. We read history books and how often they remind us of revenge for old battles and losses. This is the paradox here: we bond to survive and we bond emotionally to fuel old memories leading to wars that jeopardize our lives. yes, each memory can be traced to a root. The question is what type of roots as these vary in shape, depth, strength, above or under soil (aerial roots" and in what they take in from the soil they are spreading into. My only hope is that they shall find tolerances in their soils. In your case, I know one thing. My roots are absorbing the nutrients that make me more tolerable and understanding.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #16

#11
No competition Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, we're all connected "in" synchronicity. It's just that we seem to be more open to the experience.

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #15

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee writes: "We think we dropped the past without realizing we keep regenerating them. Our histories are full of old memories that we keep reminding ourselves with. What is gone is gone. Apparently, the echo of the past is stronger than us."

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #14

#13
Ya know....THIS platform would not post my 'part two'...had a devil of a time, so now I don't know if those Bees have been buzzed or not.....

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #13

Part 2: I got bit right here, quite early on. Now I just ignore the person. But you raise a vital issue; what is our behavioural responsibility on social platforms? Do we get to shave a little off our ethics or morals? One things most evident; we are more careful when we exchange on these platforms, so the question is: are we being true? What a bodacious gem of a buzz my friend - I look forward to others' views and comments, so we can chew this cud thoroughly! Thanks Ali! Deb 🐝 Helfrich Deb🐝 Lange, Brand Ambassador @beBee Joanne Gardocki Sara Jacobovici Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee Cyndi wilkins Lisa 🐝 Gallagher Javier 🐝 beBee CityVP 🐝 Manjit David B. Grinberg Milos Djukic Geoff Hudson-Searle Jordan Sands and anyone else I forget...

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #12

I just read your buzz and the discussion below in one flowing sweep Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. You literally move us from one depth to another Dr. Ali. You are brave to discuss the topic of memory in general, and more so by asking these important questions. My immediate response needs to begin, as I always do, at the beginning of life. I am exhausted from the swirl of energy that has been taking place in our engagement. My comment to this powerful buzz Dr. Ali is found in a LinkedIn article I wrote which is titled with a quote from you about paradoxes, https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/paradox-fast-wins-ali-anani-phd?trk=prof-post, which we have been discussing on other buzzes today. In, "Born under the wings of other paradoxes." https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/born-under-wings-other-paradoxes-sara-jacobovici, I write: Imprinting, psychological: "A remarkable phenomenon that occurs in animals, and theoretically in humans, in the first hours of life. The newborn creature bonds to the type of animals it meets at birth and begins to pattern its behavior after them. In humans, this is often called bonding, and it usually refers to the relationship between the newborn and its parents." This can be considered the root of the dilemma which your buzz discusses. Each memory can be traced to a root, grounded in formed memories, related to the need to bond, virtually survive. In humans, not just physically but more importantly emotionally.

#12
Will respond in a greater detail when you are finished with your comment my dear friend (I dare say it) Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #10

I am floored Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee and totally busted:) What an intuitive, honest and riveting commentary of social platforms interactions and patterns we follow! You have so deftly identified the unique behaviour that we exert almost exclusively in this ilk of interaction; like you, I 'visit' every now and then, but no longer post on LI unless it's for a very specific topic. For me, I like the idea of keeping the 'me' here and the 'professional' there....it's freeing. But there also is a much darker side that you allude to: predators. 'Apparently, the echo of the past is stronger than us. Forgive, but don’t forget. This sounds truer because we tend not to forget what we pretend to forgive.' Wow,that smarts...because it's TRUE. Those that threaten us (particularly our reputation) on social platforms are are not readily forgiven, and we don't forget: ever. I'm fairly sure it has to do with the transient nature of interactions and our rather 'short-lived' existence there. That said, I could probably count very few (you'd be one) that I'd like to physically hang out and shoot the breeze with! END Part 1:

#10
Now, I have a "synchronicity competitor" with you dear Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #8

Hi Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt's most recent buzz. My eyes were drawn to the "Beatle's lyrics". The synchronicity is that I just sent the youtube with the lyrics on it to a friend!

#8
I appreciate your stand Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt and I try to do the same. Those people who have bitter tongues have nothing sweet to taste. The question is if the majority of people do or try to do what you do. Just imagine how frequently you hear people "do you recall? And recall what? Mostly bed memories.

I am also sure that CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit will have too a word to say.

Sara Jacobovici@[Tausif Mundrawala](0VXjLc)

#4
Very moving comment and the Beatles song is quite relevant and touchy. What memories do we tend to keep with friends and relatives who died? I wish if we remember the good things. It is unfortunate Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt that we keep the tail of memories in our hands, which mostly regenerates bad memories. Is this our tendency as we also tend to magnify bad experiences? Just see how one unsatisfied customer can harm a company and in manifolds that a satisfied customer does. We need to clean our chests. We see the trend of bad memories among nations and how they harm their present relationships. History leaves the bad tails in our hands.

#2
I hope the time of Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #2

Very often a question of divergence on values, experience and expectations, since you are mentioning LI contrary to most I think they probably did what they needed to do business wise similar to the eagles stuff you are referring to, not great for writing nerds like me and others but probably the right thing to do sustain profit..

Lisa Vanderburg- you are mentioned in the buzz

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