Coming out Stronger

Coming out Stronger

The accelerating rate of change in our lives brings risks of uncertainties, disorder and disruption to our norm of life. It is becoming increasingly difficult to predict the future. There are many voices urging us to live the present and be immersed in it because it is futile to try forecasting the future. Why plan if most likely these plans will deviate? The trend is to have shortened stepwise objectives to make these objectives more realistic.

The chances are that we shall encounter many failures even with shortened time spans of our interim objectives towards the big dream- the grand goal topping our efforts.

With repeated failures comes despair, agony, lost self-esteem except for the few who see failures as an opportunity to find out what doesn’t work and learn from it. If we learn from the lives of big achievers that they failed many times before success emerged. Many sharks will be watching determined people to bite them. This happened to Bethany Hamilton who had her left arm bitten off by a shark when she was a child while surfing. She didn’t quit surfing and became a stronger woman. Antifragile people don’t yield to their ill fates; instead they extract power from them to move on. No wonder two years following the bitten off her arm Bethany won the first place in the Explorer Women’s Division of the NSSA National Championships.

When life turns unkind antifragile people show unique behaviors. They don’t cry over their misfortune. To the opposite they build on the challenges and obstacles and keep chasing their big dream. Stephen Hawking spent most of his life on a wheelchair and depended on a computerized voice system for communication and yet he became one of the most prominent scientist over the ages. No wonder he said, β€œI have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road”.

How come such very unfortunate events make few people stronger and more determined? How did these people manage to turn their pains into delights of success? Is it their ability to regenerate their determination? Is it their openness to failure and hardships and accepting them as the price before they succeeded? Is it their firm belief in their big dreams that make them stronger even though of their disruptive experiences? Is it because they suffered the extreme events that helped them to face the subsequent less harmful events?

Submitting to failures will only make us weaker and less able to handle next harmful events. We need to be like the German scientist Staudinger who was first to discover polymers. When he presented his findings in a conference a native renowned scientist addressed him by saying β€œIf it wasn’t for your discoveries of war chemicals I would say you are mad”. This mocking filled Staudinger with determination that he was right. This led him to win the Noble Prize in chemistry few years later. This is antifragility that made him stronger than the criticism from a noble man. This reminds me of authors who had their draft of a new book rejected by many publishing houses only to finally find a publisher and their books to emerge as bestselling.

One thing I assume they all antifragile people have. This is what I call they have Antihatred character. Nassim Taleb coined the term antifragility as the opposite of fragility because he found no proper opposite. I recall my buzz on love and what is the opposite of love. The buzz drew more than two hundred comments and they differed greatly on what is the opposite of love. Many commenters rejected that hatred is the opposite of love. So, the opposite of love isn’t hatred. I find it appropriate to suggest that the opposite of hatred is antihatred. Antifragile people have antihatred attitude for criticism, rejection, down-playing them. To be antifragile is to have antihatred character. This is needed for love alone might not make a person antifragile.

What is your opinion?

I dedicate this buzz for Bill King for his latest buzz prompted me to write this buzz. Bill is a source of inspiration for all of us.


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🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

3 years ago #41

#45
#"The understanding and comprehending how to make decisions when we do not know what to do is the evolution within us." says @CityVP 🐝 Manjit Thank you dear Mr. Manjit, hence as you said, one can become antifragile from all the experiences and the understanding of those experiences. I guess these are moments when we evolve, in those that particular situations or phase in life!

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

3 years ago #40

#45
#"The understanding and comprehending how to make decisions when we do not know what to do is the evolution within us." says CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit Thank you dear Mr. Manjit

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #39

#44
Courage is not anti-fragile, courage is the opposite of anti-fragile - and this is very important to understand Fatima because otherwise we cannot evolve with uncertainty. To control the uncontrollable is a maturation and evolution of being. The awareness is different, the acceptance is different and ultimately when you even try to parse what Nicholas Taleb is saying - the very struggle to understand even a paragraph of his work informs us that we are are far removed from being anti-fragile. The understanding and comprehending how to make decisions when we do not know what to do is the evolution within us.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

3 years ago #38

I've seen it takes a great deal of courage for one to become Anti-fragile CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit Wishing you a fabulous day!

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #37

#28
Anti-fragile is to come out stronger from an experience that we would otherwise expect to be negative, debilitating or capable of destroying us and thus become a victim called past or a fear called future - rather than a value that is present here and now - fully alive in the moment - richer for all that life does.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#41
Thank you my friend Edward Lewellen. Yes, and you provide a great example of people who come out stronger after illness. I recall the people who had cancer and yet came out stronger. I recall Helen Keller who showed us the way even though she was blind and deaf herself. These are the people who turn the downs ups.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

3 years ago #35

#39
😊 Sometimes emoticons speak louder than words.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#38
The more you write, the more I understand you and the more I want to know you more. Imaginary love is the opposite of negative love. Many people would rush to say it is positive love, but you dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic sublime over the conventional answers. Numbers and love are abstract concept. You are truly amazing my friend.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

3 years ago #33

#25
Me too, dear Ali. I would really like to meet the person whose mind gears work in such an unexpected and complex way that makes me think of finding the square root of a feeling. :) My engineering mind concluded that square root of negative love is an imaginary love. I ask myself what relevance have imaginary things to the real world? But also, the numbers are just like love abstract concepts. And the world without numbers and love would be unimaginable.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#36
Fail to Sail by learning- great James O'Connell. What a synchronicity as I was reading a book online hours ago on medical diagnosis errors that led to fatality. I am not an MD, but I enjoyed the flow of discussion and how we may learn from our mistakes. Even small errors may pile up like slow first steps to reach high levels. https://www.nap.edu/read/21794/chapter/8 Thank you for expanding the discussions

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#34
This is exactly why I wished you would respond first Pascal Derrien. You wrote "the notion on getting on with things is far more tangible I think more in terms of life of peaks and valleys but success not really...". You remind me of the movie "Zorba the Greek".

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

3 years ago #30

#31
what is failure ? somebody else assessment, an arbitrary grid, a bunch of made up KPI or the perception from so called experts maybe it is maybe its not.... On your question about unfortunate events etc I can only speak for myself but as a survivor I really have zero interest in the concept of success, it is completely irrelevant to my life , the notion on getting on with things is far more tangible I think more in terms of life of peaks and valleys but success not really..... my two cents :-)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#32
Great and relevant quote . It does indirectly tell us how to grow to be antifragile. This quote shall stay in my memory.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#30
May be I should wait first if Pascal Derrien would comment first.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

3 years ago #27

#29
Thank you dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee's happiness formula :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#28
I know how busy you are and I consider myself luck whenever you comment on any of my buzzes dear . However; I genuinely wished that you would comment on this buzz in particular. Thank you for your comments raises the bar. I lobe the reminder of the thirsty crow story and the line towards the end. In it you said "Because these are people that look at the silver lining in every obstacle and absorb the light from the same through which they shine :)". This is a great thinking and a great reminder on how we must develop anti-failure vaccine within ourselves. To come stronger from experiencing a weakness requires the right mindset and surely you have it.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

3 years ago #25

Dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee What doesn't kill us makes us stronger is a well-known song! And I take that as the motto for dealing with failures and rejections. I love the terms anti-fragile and anti-hatred. I've met so many people like that and most of the entrepreneurs I've interviewed have faced many struggles to get to where they are. I am not sure if I count myself in as I haven't found the straw yet :) As dear CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit says antifragile is the transformation of both experience and the meanings we each have internalized. I reminded of the new thirsty crow story. I recently saw a video on the same that shows the new antifragile crow put a straw in to draw the water out easily. The moral of the story is the β€˜ways’ have changed. We must learn the new ways to stay relevant. I guess anti-fragile people finds new ways to overcome the challenges life throws at them and hence they sustain and succeed. Those bitter failures and rejections draw out the anti-hatred characteristic in the person and hence they don't particularly love suffering but don't hate them either. Because these are people that look at the silver lining in every obstacle and absorb the light from the same through which they shine :) As usual, an intriguing and remarkable buzz Thank you, dear Dr. Anani :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

So glad to read your comment Mimi Leinwand. More glad that you enjoyed the buzz. Still; more glad that your comment prompted me to read one of your buzzes and comment on it. I believe @Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Brand Ambassador and @Debasish Majumder will greatly enjoy your buzzes. Thank you for making me aware of your beautiful writing.

Mili (SELAH) Leinwand

Mili (SELAH) Leinwand

3 years ago #23

it does directly speaks to my life journey, Thank you! Great boost to my morning!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#24
My dear Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic- I do hope to meet with you in person. I worked most of my life with engineers because I was heavily involved in material science. Not a single engineer attracted my mind to your level. I love the concept of negative love. This opens my mind to new possibilities. Your comment reminds me of the complex number and what is the square root of negative numbers such as -1. You stretch my mind beyond expectations. Now, I ask myself what is the square root of negative love. Complexity science benefited a lot from imaginary numbers and I am pondering on same to find a way that negative love makes life problems easier to solve. May be you could help me to crack this issue. Your mention of interview is spot on.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

3 years ago #21

Great article, dear Ali. To answer your question about love I'm going to compare it with numbers.:-) The opposite of number 1 is -1. So the opposite of love could be negative love. Actually, there is a condition named negative-love syndrome, which manifests in negativity, low self-esteem and inability to love. I think that negative love is a very appropriate term for the opposite of the word Love. I've read some excerpts from the Professor Taleb's book Antifragile that made me want to read the whole book. I like this explanation, "Antifragility is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better." This reminded me of the latest buzz of and her interview with Katja Matoőević. Katja is one of these antifragile people that get stronger regardless of failures and obstacles- they just keep going, failing again, but keep going.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
We are on the same wavelength as I view failure as new challenge. Great quote and I shall be writing about it.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

#21
Yes, I agree it is the attitude, not only toward failure but to other challenging issues, as well. The attitude of mind is what keeps us moving forward. β€œThe problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.” Captain Jack Sparrow

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#19
Thank You Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. A great example of antifragile people is Edison. There are disagreements on how many times he failed to invent the electric bulb, but surely they were in thousands. His perception and attitude to failures as learning opportunities propelled him to accept the challenges to steer ahead. So, it is the attitude to failure that keep the fire inside us to move on. Do you agree?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
Thank You Jerry Fletcher. A rubber band if stretched return to its initial state. This is resilience. However' stressing people to become stronger upon the release of stress is antifrafility. This is the reason Nassim Taleb coined this term. His scale goes from fragile to resilient to antifragile. So, we have two schools that of Siebert and of Taleb. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to clarify this point.

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Those that are antifragile gain from disorder thus build character and an immunity to failure. Having the quality of antihatred is an asset since hatred takes a toll on one's energy. We all face challenges during our journey through life and it is how we face them that matters. Learning from challenges, not failures, help us become stronger physically and mentally.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

3 years ago #15

Ali, My friend Al Siebert, who coordinated the nationwide efforts to provide mental comfort and assistance to the victims and families made fragile by 911popularized the word Resilience through his books ans speaking appearances. For him, Resilience was the opposite of fragility.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
Turning bitterness into sweetness is the new definition for antifragility as your comment inspires me. I like your comment because it tells a real life story and reinforces the meanings behind publishing this buzz. Thank you so much Zacharias \ud83d\udc1d Voulgaris for sharing your personal experience, which talk louder than stories of others. I also greatly appreciate your kind words. I wish you many more similar successes.

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

It's articles like this one that keep me checking beBee daily. Thank you Ali for the insights & inspiration! At one point I had literaly nothing going on apart from this book I was writing, when the unthinkable happened: the publisher I was with cancelled the project. Yet, I carried on writing it untill I got a new contract for that book with another publisher. This book was the turn of the tide for me, as it spawned a series of articles, videos, and other opportunities, all because I didn't let that situation stop me. Besides it's quite satisfying watching frustration towards the cancelling publisher turn into pity for him, since he missed a golden opportunity back then...

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#14
Yes, antfragility is on a higher level than resilience for it helps turn setbacks, criticism and failures into a stronger person following these sufferings. I am not surprised that there are few people of this quality. I am sure your engagements and challenges shall reveal your antifragility character CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. You are spot on to say that the road to antifragility is a transformation of self benefiting from both experience and meaning. Greta way to redefine antifragility.

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #11

Relating back to my efforts with the college right now whether it is expanding the club, taking up the slack on social media or beginning to forge a new governance proposal for the student club, I wish had antifragile pixie-dust that I could sprinkle on our student club members. I guess this is why the expression "The School of Hard Knocks" exists, because it is not until we are tested do we know our actual capacity. Yet when we are not aware of what antifragile is, we remain somewhere between resilient and fragile. I wonder if at our more experienced age, we see the truth of these things fully, in a way a 20 year old may not even conceive as possible. The good thing is that this mindset is about opportunities rather than challenges - for the road to antifragile is the transformation of both experience and the meanings we each have internalized.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
The antifragile writer is the one who builds on criticism because critics fan his fire. Yes, you give a splendid definition for antifragility my dear Tausif Mundrawala. I now you now better than ever before.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#10
Thank you so much for your timely elaboration on Sir Hawking. I would say Haw-king for he is a king of determination and being a great antifragile person that prolonged his life. Yes, I am equally amazed by his work, determination as you are dear Debasish Majumder. I lived a similar experience. My father was expected to live for two years following a major stomach operation> He lived for more than forty years. It is a rare quality and that was finding antifragile leaders is rare like finding a black swan.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #8

Sir Hawking was detected with auto-neuron disease at the of 21 and predicted by the doctors that his life expectancy was for hardly two years. but, it is wonder how he eventually survived for 55 years more! from where did he get his energy to live! it is like black hole it self having the potentials to send sound signals, which may perhaps entirely theoretical and could be understood by few. black hole as well his life being equated with wonder, a sheer enigma! another thing, what we observe, that is, the synthesis of organic and inorganic assimilation! technology, being inorganic, an entirely a new version where organic contributions are of supreme in nature made the prediction more difficult, sometimes appears as utterly unpredictable and confusing too! and i guess, there lies the lacuna! anti fragile and anti-hatred are amazing proposition and i wonder their composition and configuration! are they deflected from the human society? i wonder, how human society and available ambiance helped them to construe with such grand rendition! however, great buzz sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz sir.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Yes, Bill King as I am aware of the two books that Professor Nassim Taleb wrote. His earlier book "The Black Swan" discusses rare events and as rare as finding a black swan that affect our lives and are beyond predictability. His following book "Antifragile" was his real hit and to which I referred in my buzz. It is worthy to be familiar with his great insights.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#6
Great thinking Bill King. It was Nassim Taleb who coined antfragility because the opposite of antifragility isn't robust. It refers to systems or bodies that get stronger when stressed by recovering not to their original state, but to a higher state. I need to think more about your suggestion. Antifragility may help in enhancing the flow from where we are to where we want (our big dream). If this is agreeably to you then it is antifragility because we emerged from the resistance of flow to a higher level of flow. Do you agree?

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Global Brand Ambassador

#4
thank you, it took me some to be aware of that truth (what I understood so far from life), but that is fine Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#2
Exactly as you have done a great job with your super comment . You understand life well my friend

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Global Brand Ambassador

do not fail to read this! it is a Ali gem, once more

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Global Brand Ambassador

so @bill king that is a nice tribute to you, well done Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee I begin to understand that this life is meant to learn and grow, so whatever we undertake, it belongs to our path of completion. As long as we see the progress through change, we have done a good job.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Bill King- you are mentioned in this buzz

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