Divorcing a Wife Who Isn’t

Divorcing a Wife Who Isn’t

This is a story of a young man walking in a mall that was crowded. He saw a lady and he just fell for her. He followed her till she was annoyed and reached her tipping point of anger. She erupted shouting at him and even boxed him. She started screaming and the crowed gathered around them. The man suddenly burst crying and saying,” I have no more money to spend. Look how many items you bought. You drained me. There is no enough is enough for you. You are divorced. I don’t need a wife like you” and then walked away. The lady was baffled and didn’t react immediately. The crowd started blaming her. β€œWhy do you behave this way, lady”? β€œYou bought so many items and you should be appreciative rather than demanding”.

This is a real story and it shows the fragility of public opinion. The man was in a predicament, but knew how to gather support of the ill-informed public. He found a creative way to reverse the public opinion by moving the crowd emotionally. He knew how to make the crowd feel the issue isn’t distant from them and that his cause is theirs as well. The crowds’ behavior reminded me of the Theory of Symbolic Interactionism.Β The theory studies the society focusing on the subjective meanings that people give to events. People’s interpretations of a situation will govern their following course of action.

"You as well, Brutus?" is being repeated. Public opinion forms because of the interactions of individuals. Emotions gather support. The young man knew how to draw the emotions of individuals. Soon, the sympathetic individuals interacted to build a belief that the man divorced the lady rightly so without processing information or finding the real story. The group effect became dominant and resulted in making the predator the prey and the prey as the predator. Once the opinion shapes up people don’t like to be proven wrong and mayn’t be willing to reverse their minds and accept reality.

It amazes me how people collect information and form opinions based on this information. Maybe being first with a burst of giving others that they come from a hurt man/woman plays a decisive role. What if the lady started screaming by saying that the man was chasing her for hours? Would have that changed the outcome? Sometimes being first can be helpful. The fragility of public opinion is evident and may be formed on very ill-based facts.

The story of the lady and young man reminds me of the Receive-Accept-Sample (RAS) Model. When people receive many conflicting messages, they tend to go by those messages that are consistent with their current beliefs/opinions. The young man created belief in the crowd that he was the prey and by his creative ideas gave no room for conflicting messages to be heard by the gathering crowds, His creativity helped him out.

It is amazing how creativity plays a dominant role in our lives.


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Comments
Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

What a doozy character you have my good friend Lisa Vanderburg. Great to see you back commenting and participating. Yes my friend- sometimes reverse the tide may be easy with creativity.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #26

Wow...what a doozy Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! In this particular situation, there's an immediacy that leads the impetus in the crowd. Your link to the RAS model broke my head, so I looked at CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit 'doxed' one instead. Much to catch up on.... A very brilliant buzz my friend!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#27
And I love you my drear friend Clau Valerio

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Dear Clau Valerio- maybe you know of a wife who divorced a husband who isn't!!!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#24
Your comment is a buzz on its own. Just by giving real examples of recent public opinion manipulation

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

#23
Yes, it doesn't take much to rile people these days. And sadly, it can be an intentional ploy to lead people in the wrong direction which we've experienced some horrific examples through the years.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
Spot on Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador and the trigger could be a small event

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Whoa! This situation would be a good scene in a movie. This is how people start riots.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#20
It is mass deception my friend.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee Just out of curiosity... What are your views on "controlled opposition?"

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee- you read buzzes well before commenting on them. You extracted the main points of the buzz in your comment. Yes, mass hysteria means the prevalence of chaos and the chaotic decision-making as a result. Your baseball bats are swinging in the right direction.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

"The crows’ behavior reminded me of the Theory of Symbolic Interactionism. The theory studies the society focusing on the subjective meanings that people give to events. People’s interpretations of a situation will govern their following course of action. "You as well, Brutus?" is being repeated. Public opinion forms because of the interactions of individuals. Emotions gather support. The young man knew how to draw the emotions of individuals. Soon, the sympathetic individuals interacted to build a belief that the man divorced the lady rightly so without processing information or finding the real story. The group effect became dominant and resulted in making the predator the prey and the prey as the predator. Once the opinion shapes up people don’t like to be proven wrong and mayn’t be willing to reverse their minds and accept reality." "The story of the lady and young man reminds me of the Receive-Accept-Sample (RAS) Model. " Wow. Thank you for the insight. I've been exploring a few topics in the past year which manifest the same directions. Mass hysteria is converted into public safey--when things are not safe at all. I reduced a particular issue down to a keyword, and I would walk up to people I barely knew and say the word. Of course--I then had to duck because the virtual baseball bats started swinging--just on the strength of a single word. It was astounding.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
Dear Jerry, In response to your comment and that of CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit#12 I am writing a buzz to publish next week on these prominent issues that you bring in your comment. I shall elaborate on the global village and what you say here "takes us part of the way to that possibility but the flashpoints of fascism are arriving at an ever increasing pace". Thank you for elaborating on the role of emotions in decision-making.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

2 years ago #14

Dr. Ali, This story as Senor Lopez points out has at its heart the common problem of mankind: We are not rational or logical creatures. Emotions dictate our decisions. And to make matters worse those emotional controls have split second hair-triggers. unfortunately, the further our opinions drift towards polarity the more difficult it becomes to reverse them. I have lately been thinking that perhaps some of the unique properties of quantum physics are beginning to apply to human perceptions. The Global village concept takes us part of the way to that possibility but the flashpoints of fascism are arriving at an ever increasing pace. Is it possible that collective emotion has the ability to slant the reality of Schroedinger's cat? it is a strange question I know but it tip[-toed into my mind on little cat's paws. And so it goes.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#14
Dear David Navarro L\u00f3pez- it is amazing how your mind works. You are right and many people do what some governments do. They change the problem to deviate the public opinion from the core issues. Corporations tend to blame customers rather than their inferior products and/or poor customer service. What happens is a growing polarization with the majority in one side and the minority on another. We see it today when people revolt and the politicians blame certain sector of people for the cause of the national problem and not the governments' poor handling of economy. There is a spill-over effects and the issue extends to other sectors. For example, public revolt results in declining tourism and many sectors suffer accordingly such as hotels, restaurants and transportation. The roots of the problem branch out.

David Navarro LΓ³pez

David Navarro LΓ³pez

2 years ago #12

To your words "When people receive many conflicting messages, they tend to go by those messages that are consistent with their current beliefs/opinions. " I would add: Manipulative people know by instinct this simple fact. Our brain needs to find a plausible explanation even for the most unexplainable fact. As an example, if one day you go and buy a lottery winning ticket, and arriving home, you notice you have put on a brown sock on your right foot and a blue sock on your left foot, believe me, from then on, you will always buy lottery dressed that way. A lady screaming in a mall needs an explanation. Using her hysterical reaction (negative reaction) by putting it aside to another plausible negative background (demanding) it simply makes sense. Other experiences lived by the audience completes the scenario. This is the way fascism had and will have always a "playground" They give a plausible explanation about the difficulties lived by the people and turn their hate accordingly. At the sight of Germany's bankruptcy in the '40s, Hitler blamed the jews. People forgot they had recently lost a European war, they didn't have the best leadership to get out of it, and it was much easier to find another target of hate. The result, we all know. In my country nowadays, corruption and defective politics have drowned the country into debts. It has been easier to blame the Catalan people to trying to "break Spain" to cover their failures and corruption, so now it seems to the public opinion that Catalans are guilty of being anti-system, whilst the real anti-system are the politicians who are robbing Spain and hiding their stolen money in fiscal paradises like Switzerland of Cayman islands. Your post is spot on day to day realities. Bravo.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
Your comments for a higher meaning of the buzz dear CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. Variety is the spice of life and homogenization is decreasing diversity. Are we losing the spice of life continually? Your comment tolls many bells in my head and your use of the word homogenization shall be my next buzz. I have some thoughts to share with you. The video link is great. It is inspirational as well. In my e-book and my buss on "Fish Pond- the complexity of management: https://www.slideshare.net/hudali15/fish-pond-metaphor-complexity-of-management I discussed the issue of coalescing the fish that live in an ocean and move them to a small space such as a fish pond. There are considerable complexities, but conformity becomes more pressurizing. You are right and I welcome your comment my friend.

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

2 years ago #10

The comparative equivalent in the online world of this story is called "Doxing" https://www.wired.com/story/what-do-to-if-you-are-being-doxed/ It is a really unfortunate effect of the "global village". If anything this is what Marshall McLuhan was actually warning us about before his term "global village" was co-opted as the inspiring meaning that most people associate that term. At the time, McLuhan meant that the world is homogenizing and losing its diversity, that as we fly from city to city, the world is becoming just one extended global village. This is further added to by the romantic notion of tribes. There is nothing romantic about the tough side of tribal existence. As for a village people tend not to think about the downside of a village where everyone (the locals) knows your business. At least in a city environment, even if it breeds terrible loneliness, there is not this nasty aspect of village idiot existence. The romanticizing of the word social or tribal or village makes us blind to the toxic underbelly and side effects of "villagers'. The irony of trying to escape the notion of city existence is that we open the door the bad as well as the good in that space. Fake news and other forms of confirmation bias are not new phenomena, we are simply more exposed to this reality because the world is becoming more and more "always on". This 24/7 form of existence has these draw backs, but the choices we individually make still matter. We can still focus on higher meaning.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#10
Great and look forward to reading your buzz my friend Randall Burns.

Randall Burns

Randall Burns

2 years ago #8

#9
Indeed Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee soon my friend

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
Thank you Randall Burns. I have read a buzz from you for quite sometime. I hope to read one soonest.

Randall Burns

Randall Burns

2 years ago #6

Great story Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee it's a great analogy for the forum of politics

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#5
I love the way you explained the reaction of spectators and why they reacted the way they did. You are a great man of reasoning my dear Edward Lewellen. The past is ingrained in us and even though we say live the present, the past has the control on the steering.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#3
I appreciate your very comprehensive comment my dear Debasish Majumder and for your generous sharing of the buzz. It is a sad fact that creativity may be ill-used. Yes, creativity is turning the unfamiliar to familiar and vice versa. Whether the intended use is for good or bad is different from creativity. Reading history shows a huge number of creative ideas that were put to evil purposes. It is sad, but as our friend Jerry Fletcher keeps saying "And this is how it goes". In wars, in business and all aspects of life we find that as we make better traps, the he mice keep creating better ways to avoid trapping.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

2 years ago #3

i wonder, what actually define creativity? if predator crafted a ploy to benefit himself by deceiving others and even win the confidence of people by doing treachery with their emotion and trust, will it be considered as creative? hoodwinking and perplexing may yield dividends to few for certain time, but in long run it will perpetually destroy the very essence of trust and confidence. it is true that greed and lust can make one frenzy and whatever ploy they may resort to, eventually it will surely bring their downfall. the word 'innovation' has now become a tool for gaining immediate success precisely in terms of gaining mundane profit and wealth and even people becoming blind with a vision only to equate everything out of wealth. the person in your story equally considered that the woman could be affordable out of wealth and even to get rid of his predicament he brazenly resort to wealth, which majority too perhaps forced to buy. however, absolutely stunning post sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the post sir.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#1
On spot comment Pascal Derrien. I also thank you for sharing the buzz

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

2 years ago #1

It reminds of a quote I positively hate '' Perception is reality''

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