Management of Tension

Management of Tension

I believe one definition of great managers is their ability to manage tension. Tension isn’t restricted to employees but extends to customers as placing them in tension is a sure way of successful tension marketing. We have choices and the tension of making a choice is shared among all of us.

Let me start with an example and show how tensions interact to create threats and opportunities. Let me take on a horizontal axis the two opposites of We and Me. I work with a team I want the team to be successful with my conflicting desire to be successful myself. Would I prefer the We more than the Me? There is a tension between the extremes.

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This is the Dimension of Relations between We and Me.

There exists another tension between sticking to my differences or join the similarities between the members of a group. If I wish to be authentic I need to stick to my differences at the expense of conflicting with the group and may be expelled for my deviant behavior.

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This is the Dimension of Content. The tension exists between keeping the Me authenticity and following the similarities that glue the group members together.

Now it is time to join the two Dimensions of Relations and Content together. For more elaboration please visit this linkΒ 

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The vital space is the space within the circumference. We may be within the boundary falling inside or outside the circumference. Inside the conference we have the following patterns.

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Between Me and Similarities- seeking balance between being Me and keep Similarities. It is the exchange zone. It is the challenge to get inspiration from similarities while being Me.

Between Me and Differences- the tension to keep the balance between being Me and coping with Differences. It is recognizing the differences and still being Me.

Between We and Differences- the tension of keeping the balance between sticking together while respecting our differences. It is the need to feel safe in a stormy zone.

Between We and Similarities- the opportunity for group members to learn from each other. It is the realization of the need for a shakeup to avoid similar thinking and adhering blindly to the group.

In every zone there is the tension of being in balance. If not, we shall be thrown outside the Circumference of Confidence. This what shall happen. It is the dreadful 4Fs

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Instead of getting inspiration from being Me while justifying similarities we get thrown out of the Circumference to end up in the first F- that is Flee. Many talents get bored and flee the organization because of being bored.

The challenge may turn into fight. This is the second F (Fight). The challenge offers the opportunity to learn and advance; instead it could turn the challenge into severe fight.

We need the structure to help the group members to advance together and be conducive to their interests and differences with others. If not, the third F will be the result and that is Freeze.

Similar birds flock together (the fourth F is flocking). That what shall happen if we all end up in having similar ideas. As much as we want differences, so we need similarities. It is the balance between the two.

The manager should assume the role of a ruler if people start to flee to put things in order. Or, if similarities overwhelm he can be an inspirator.

Likewise; the manager or leader needs to act as strategist or negotiator depending if in the challenge zone people are more towards Me or Differences.

In the Structure zone, the manager or leader needs to act like a warrior if people are drifted towards Me and a mediator if they are adrift towards differences,

In the dialogue zone the leader or manager needs to act as a joker if people are drawn to similarities than being the We and as a prophet if people are more of We than finding gluing similarities between them.

One last point is the need of virtual groups to have a supporting structure and to encourage dialogue. beBee as a platform communication does this job brilliantly. I tested my beBee webpage and got the following results.

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Bravo beBee- you are doing a great job as proven by measurement.


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Comments
Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#26
I am the one who thanks you dear . While reading your comment I could relate it perfectly well with the Circumference of Confidence. I enjoyed very much your writing "tease out" the tension because this way people will breathe out their opinions and feel they have a role. This doesn't mean accepting every opinion and thought; more it means giving the individual the right to feel important and part of the discussion. If not, exactly what you said "...these opinions can explode to the surface, sometimes creating incredible tension which could take days or weeks to dispel or, on the other hand, turn into an excellent learning experience". You are both a leader and manager in one.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
this is splendid comment Harvey Lloyd. Establishing a tipping point is surely a creative way to upgrade group's thinking. This idea is worthy of a buzz on its own.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

This is a great Comment. I agree a discussion we see eye to eye.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #23

#20
My previous comment really does walk through your slide share by watching the video. You can see that the individual overcame embarrassment to lead. He performed long enough to get another to join. The third individual began the thought that those who were not participating were missing something. Momentum within change is the holy grail of success. Getting that core energy to bring others on board with leaderships direction. I had forgotten about this technique in leadership. Thanks for the reminder.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8amMCVAJQ After watching your slideshare this video came to mind. Notice how the one began and then another joined. When the third person joined the dancing it became a tipping point for others to join at a larger pace. In developing energy within a group it is better to bring folks on individually to find that tipping point that where a core can attract the rest.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#19
Great call and sharing of the buzz Harvey Lloyd

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
I tackled the issue of Group Think and the process to improve it in my presentation: https://www.slideshare.net/hudali15/unequal-opposites I wonder what Harvey Lloyd think of it. I must say It addresses this line in Harvey's comment "Only you can generalize the processes and adapt them for your organization".

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #19

Corporate culture, systemic change or other leadership needs are discussed from a graphic that may help you get focused on the tasks ahead. Stop by and leave a comment about your next adventure in leadership.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #18

#14
I agree with CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit at the macro level. Within small business though there appears to be two traps that one can fall in as a leader. Specifically those leaders looking for innovative ways to take their companies into the ever changing world. 1.Group think. A successful person posts, prints or distributes the 12 step program to success. Their success was uniquely theirs and within variables that you may share very little. Your skills, world view and processes that have lead you to where you are today. 2. Believing group think is bad. The goal of a leader is to obtain objective thinking along a series of goals, healthy group think. Stated another way, aligning people within the part of success that they can see their contribution and reap benefit. They have to think that of the best objectivity available will not be applied. Another old buzz word was Buy-in. I am beginning to recognize that the internet has allowed us to see at a pace the ever changing landscape of current "thinking". Now that we can see it, a new paradigm has emerged. If i am to come up with the latest and greatest leadership, success or management theory, i have to disprove the others. Each small business is made of people, systems and choices. This signature is not easily changed. We cant rip out the old and replace it with the latest 12 step program, verbatim. But we can begin the journey of change and produce a hybrid, generalized system that resembles the steps while retaining or uniqueness. Caution should be used, information is just that, information. Only you can generalize the processes and adapt them for your organization.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

The last image shows that my beBee profile page scores wonderfully Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee. Thanks for you and the beBee Team.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #16

#15
you are truly an excellent mentor by all means sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! thank you for your enriching comment.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#13
Birds indeed don't flock together as it is an emerging property. They follow simple steps. We tend to rule by command and so few things emerge naturally dear Debasish Majumder. It is interesting that it is called the Circumference of Confidence. Like a drop of water it would this way have the least surface tension. Assuming it stays circular. Thank you also for sharing the buzz and for your good words.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
- CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit- thank you for your great comment and sharing of the buzz. The Circumference of Confidence was first proposed by Eelke Wielinga (www.linkconsult.nl) and then elaborated upon by http://www.mspguide.org/sites/default/files/tool/42msp_tools_circle_of_coherence_42.pdf. As you did in your comment, I used the step by step approach to explain it and added some new thoughts on its applicability to real life issues. Your understanding of it is sound and the experimentation you suggest by suggesting the Group Think, Polarization, Conflict and Disruption. You do open our minds towards new perspectives. This is in agreement with what you wrote "In other words great thinkers create great frameworks for others to think about these things but it opens the door people who turn these models into formula or gospel. The satisfaction here is having someone else do the thinking for us but not push our own selves on to engage our own difficult thinking". You walk the talk my friend. With all honesty I find this model great to expand on even more. For example, how personality types fall within the framework of this model? I am sure our friend Harvey Lloyd will have his word on this particular topic.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #13

lovely insight sir Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! firstly, i guess, birds never thought of collective approach while they are flying. they never focused about their desired goal, i guess, neither they possess any ambition unlike human being precisely in the domain of business, where profit is the only concern. secondly, in the wire we notice the droplets of water after rain, how they circularly stay by releasing least energy, which is the perfect example of surface tension. equally, managers remain comfortable in the groups till they are comfortable to sail in the same board and they are thrown off, moment their potentialities are exhausted. however, great buzz sir. enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

3 years ago #12

Very well thought out model, where step by step you showed us how you constructed this thinking. So a model for thinking it is very good. It does rely on an approach which is akin to consultants and when quadrants are defined by a deep thinker, they become a useful artifact. Unfortunately quadrants and 2x2 boxes also foster lazy thinking, because it invites everyone in. It is important to recognize that this is how what should be a useful construct often devolves down into "consultese" a weird business language associated with consultants. It is good therefore to remind ourselves that 2x2 thinking can be useful so long as we recognize what the ultimate purpose of that thinking is, and this link to design thinking sets the context for this way of interpretation https://dschool-old.stanford.edu/groups/k12/wiki/29e5a/2X2_Matrix.html At its worst it is a recipe often for creating more business buzzwords http://projects.wsj.com/buzzwords2014/#p=17%7C36%7C%7C26%7C%7C0%7C0 and corporate speak than it is does as serving as a model for thinking. In other words great thinkers create great frameworks for others to think about these things but it opens the door people who turn these models into formula or gospel. The satisfaction here is having someone else do the thinking for us but not push our own selves on to engage our own difficult thinking. I see the value in the model above, but I also like to extrapolate or play with these quadrants to experiment with other formulations e.g WE and Similarities Quadrant - GROUP THINK Similarities and ME – POLARIZATION ME and Difference – CONFLICT Differences and WE - DISRUPTION

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

3 years ago #11

#8
I have translated it mΓ­ster Anani.The infographics is the only thing that can not be translated

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#7
Thinking again about your comment and the previous two comments I re-posted from you I find this example useful. In a soccer team a player is in a good position to score, but his teammate is in a better position to do so. It is Me who should score thinking that will prompt the player to shoot at goal. If it is we then he shall pass the ball to his teammate. Now, if it was an equal chance or the player is hardly in a less favorable position than his teammate the Me thinking is understood if it prevails. On the other end the player is in a poor position to shoot and still he tries his luck then he is captivated by his thinking. Equally bad is if the player is in a better shooting position and still he passes the ball to his teammate. This could be attributed to low self-confidence and is therefore isn't in a position to act wisely. Yes, we may swing between Me and We and if done for a good reason it should give the best results. I hope this example is relevant Harvey Lloyd

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#7
Very interesting comment Harvey Lloyd. Familiarity almost leads to "Me". I believe, I trust, I am used to, In my opinion, I think, are examples of familiarityand assumptions that lead us to use Me. Interesting comment because of familiarity we often don't notice that we use Me. Will ponder on this more.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#6
I shall try to find a translator to translate the buzz soonet Irene Gonzalez Rodriguez

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #7

The info graphic is really telling on that if we can get above Self. We could see the graphic clearly. Unfortunately many we lead are within the tall aspects of the graphic and seek familiarity. Familiarity almost always will lead to β€œMe”. This introduces the concept of communication as the only way to engage this paradigm to help them see the wholeness of the graphic

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

Irene 🐝 Rodriesco

3 years ago #6

The comments jump from one article to another, even from Spanish to English. It is reported to the support team. It is a very interesting article, (maybe find the infographics in Spanish, to know in more detail). Thanks for your time posting it again.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I know there were other comments, but unfortunately they were posted to another buzz, including my responses.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

The second comment of Harvey Lloyd reads: Let’s pose a setting where a team member has now heard your proposal or ideas. You feel understood and that your presentation was inclusive. The team member is now preparing to question from their "Me". If the team member is captive by their own thoughts then their reply might be something like, "I'm Sorry I can’t really see how that would work." A team member that is captivating their thoughts would state, "Help "Me" understand how you sense the new proposal would operate within my department, area or position." This offers us two positions to take within the paradigm of differences. Is it a narrative based automatic response, thoughts captivating the speaker or is the question by the team member attempting to captivate their own thoughts? Equally from the presenter side we have the same choices of view. Given the choice of moving towards "We" leaders understand that there are several team members battling this journey. Some do it well others seem to to struggle. The ones that struggle may be helped by introducing the captivating thought process. Helping a good team member release captivating thought so that they can "executive brain" place their thoughts is a wise skill to pass on.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Harvey Lloyd wrote two superb comments. His first comment reads" The diagram is telling as we look at the surface of reflection from the outside. Given the parameters the diagram offers we can see ourselves inside the paradigm or outside. If we are outside then we now have a call to lead, depending on circumstances. If we are on the inside then we now must navigate the unknown, without the leader perspective view. Recently we have been challenged by management concerns that we are trying to dial in for better customer/client engagement. Your diagram is telling as we probe the various concerns. There is however an emerging thought. The diagram is reflective what is going on and renders the new question "Why". Our initial thoughts in addressing the team issues dealt with understanding. Is each team member understanding the vital roles of each member and the separate issues they are engaged. This seemed to be understood quite well. We have narrowed the issues down to thoughts, on the me side of the diagram. We have stated that either thoughts captivate the person or the person captivates their thoughts. We are recognizing more and more that the personal narrative tends to develop thoughts that captivate the action of an individual. This would imply we are victims of our environment. I would submit though that between similarities and differences we can captivate our thoughts with just self awareness.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Savvy Raj wrote: Fantastic buzz with great insights as usual @Ali Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I deleted this buzz three days ago.to upgrade and to stop comments going to another buzz. The buzz received lovely comment and I am re-sharing them here.

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