Because I loved you so much I stopped loving you

Because I loved you so much I stopped loving you

We experience the fast passing of time and we need to pause to think and make choices. However; there are few quotes that make us pause frequently because they cut deep in our emotions. One quote is that of my daughter Sara shown below:

"Dad, because I loved you so much I stopped loving you"
Sara Ali Anani

1f93a5d5.jpgΒ  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  Β  My beloved daughter Sara Ali Anani

Too much love generates caring and too much caring becomes an emotional load. Sara experienced the emotional load and the more she loved me, the more this emotional load increased.

I am writing this because of Louise Smith. Louise shared two buzzes on emotions. I thank Louise not only for sharing the first a chart on emotion, but also dedicating it to me.

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The other chart on equations of emotions stirred my mind. Inspecting the emotions reveal great thinking and trigger many ideas, which I wish to share with you here.

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Joy = Love - Fear

This equation reminded me of one of my most popular buzzes on beBee on I Love You- What Does it Mean? So many great ideas resulted on the meaning of love. Here, I find explanation of what my daughter Sara meant. Love is accompanied with fear of losing that you love. So, if we rearrange the equation above on love it shall read:

Love = Joy + Fear

Sara explained the meaning of love in her innocence as she was only few years old when she expressed her love as both love and fear.

The meaning of love could be further verified by the first equation in the chart.

Despair = Suffering - Meaning,

Despair + Meaning = Suffering

Do we suffer by realizing the meaning of love? Or, should love remain an obscure feeling and chasing its meaning is like a dog chasing its tail in despair?

One other equation that attracted my eye is the following equation:

Calling = Pleasure/ Pain

We need to maximize the pleasure and minimize the pain in our offers for customers to gain their hearts. Can we maximize the pleasure without any pain? It is the same like can we maximize our love without being also whelmed by the fear of losing who we love? When we make customers fall in love with our products because we pleased them greatly should be also fear that we made them worried of losing what they loved?

These equations make me think if we need to always consider that emotions don't exist in isolation. They interact and their produce is a complex one. Do we need to review all our offers so that we become more balanced in our communications and offers.


Nobody seems shall get anything for nothing.


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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Te Iceberg of Love is beautifully expressed by you dear Savvy Raj "Love surfaces from the depth of emotions". I am feeling the depth of your emotional words. Thank you

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#37
A diamond appreciating a diamond. Thank you dear \ud83d\udc1d Fatima Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #28

#36
Wow she is beautiful, kind and intelligent like the father. God bless her always πŸ‘ŒπŸ€— Give her my regards and wishes to continue shining like a diamond always.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#35
Thank you my dear friend \ud83d\udc1d Fatima Williams and I shall share an old photo of mine soon. Sara is beautiful physically, but her real beauty is her humanity. She is very emotional to the poor. She is so determined. You know that she can speak fluent TUrkish even though she had never attended a TUrkish class. She s supposed to take a course on Turkish language while on her scholarship. However; she passed the Turkish Level exam and the university waived off this course for her. I am so happy that you referred to CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit comment because he moved my heart with it.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #26

#28
Sara is gifted to have a wonderful dad like you and you to have a her likewise. Stay blessed both of you :) I remember saying this before She is so beautiful. I wonder how you looked when you were younger Ali Anani. It's time we saw some younger pictures of you although we love the present you :) :) I'm inquisitive to know how Sara turned out to be so lovely and beautiful. I'm smelling a buzz inspired by an old photograph :) I also hear so much heart in Mr Manjt's words "We don't need words to describe love - it is already encoded in our DNA and in the flow of meaning into and out of heart."

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #25

#32
I am grateful to Ali Anani to my attention. In all of your work and comments, I have heard the wisdom and passion, commitment and dedication, intensity and determination and protectiveness! I hear a different tone of voice here Manjit. And a different pace. I hear your heart. This is truly a touching piece of core communication. You are very generous to share it. Thank you.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#32
Every word in your comment filled my heart with joy dear friend CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit. Absolutely, I meant t that this buzz be "imprinted with the face of my daughter". You captured my emotions with this great observation. I tried to run some water to make the equations alive. I refer to your writing "leaving just bare bones of mathematical equations - whereas the mathematics of beauty are in our children". I live what you say here. Yes, we need to make mathematics more of beauty than just dried and lifeless equations. This is one reason many people are fearful of math. I tag dear Sara Jacobovici to bring her attention to your mention of her.

CityVP Manjit

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #23

This is quite a sensational buzz dear Ali Anani that is absolutely special for the simple reason that you share within it the most precious aspect of your life. I can say that without need of a single equation to describe emotional states, because this buzz is imprinted with the face of your daughter. Yes, you have mentioned Sara before and these were memorable associations also because it reinforced just one more aspect of why Sara Jacobovici is an important spirit that has touched your soul outside your immediate family. I have shared pictures with me and my grandson online but that I did because 2 year old's grow up fast and they physically change and this change of facial recognition preserves the idea of privacy - and I say idea - because in this world where technology can parse even the semantic constructs of each of our paragraphs, the only real privacy in this world is silence. In reality this privacy battle is being lost. I do think Chip Conley has done a nice job with the Emotional Equations but it is only as nice as what our educational system has done to Mathematics. What our education system has done is rip away the beauty in mathematics leaving just bare bones of mathematical equations - whereas the mathematics of beauty are in our children - in the very moment cell division begins to occur and the mathematical fractals start producing life. The mathematics of beauty are far cry from the mathematics of answers. We have been taught in our educational system to look for answers and not to appreciate. So it is I appreciate the picture of your daughter because the respect is life itself and that is when we don't need words to describe love - it is already encoded in our DNA and in the flow of meaning into and out of heart.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#29
The exchange of comments with you dear and on your wonderful buzz of today inspired me with the idea of my next buzz. I am grateful to you. I take this opportunity to invite readers of this buzz to read your buzz because it is profound. PEACEFUL MEDITATION to TAME ANXIETY https://www.bebee.com/producer/@emilia-ludovino/peaceful-meditation-to-tame-anxiety

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#29
Thank you dear and your compassionate comment is music in my heart. Sara is currently on a semester-long scholarship to the MIddle East Technical University in Ankara. I haven't yet informed her about this buzz, but once I do she too shall love your comment.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Yes, yess and Yes- I say to your comment. Sara didn't stop loving me. In fact, she loved me more. However; her hate of me traveling abroad, her love to find me near to her and her fear of me getting hurt while away caused her fear. Like you wrote " IMO once we love someone unconditionally there's no turning back of that love. It's like a toothpaste squeezed out of its tube". May be Sara's worries at the time (as she was less than five years old when she expressed her innocent passion) was the tube would soon deplete of its toothpaste. I admire your mind and wisdom dear Fatima.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #19

Dear Ali Anani You've touched base on a very important topic Love. A emotion that is so easy to kindle and develop but so difficult to stop using. Do you really think that your daughter can stop loving you. I don't think so. IMO once we love someone unconditionally there's no turning back of that love. It's like a toothpaste squuezed out of it's tube. Love is pure and eternal and forever. We may stop talking or meeting or even disliking a person we love due to their actions. But deep down the heart that loved will always love them even after death. This is my experience with love. And this is such a wonderful buzz. I think when one starts to feel a like the way Sara did in the case of any relationship. I believe or feel a little distance between the two people will do the trick. I call it giving space to each other. Creating the distance will actually bring us closer than before. And that fear finally disappears. After all Fear is NOT EQUAL to Love As the weightage of love has the power to drown the other. I love Louis Chart on Love - Beautiful.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Sara Jacobovici extended some of the ideas expressed in this buzz by writing a truly worthy buss on "Feeling Numb" https://www.bebee.com/producer/@sara-jacobovici/feeling-numb It is a great read. Thank you Sara for building a castle out of few building ideas.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I added a new photo to the buzz

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#19
WOW! Jazak Alla kul khair too @Jed Wisniewski. Yes, I agree with you and my previous response to Jeet is in accordance with your comment.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
Jeet Sarkar- yes, the reactions are complex and they are not as simple as they appear on paper. Not only they might go through a complex transition, but also we might not know the reactants. Which emotion reaction with another emotions. II said that the equations main value is their helping us to think deeper. .Thank you Jeet for your deep thoughts and sharing them here

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #14

#20
expanded and written.. but a lot more to write. These are notes...too long for a buzz for now.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#17
The thing is that all takes seconds and less than ten seconds to complete the job Brian McKenzie

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
You have deep perspectives dear Devesh Bhatt. GO and expand on this great idea of yours "Problem is that simulation is for prolonged periods of time and hence we return to bad habits despite having achieved success".

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #11

#10
while my response is beig awaited i highly dislike the idea of giving oversimplistic responses to wonderful buzzes and comments filled with deep understanding and experience. Still, what comes to mind is this, We are actually being prepared for crisis and thr wrong emotions are part of the training and motivation. We simply fail in the simulation and pass the tests. Problem is that simulation is for prolonged periods of time and hence we return to bad habits despite having achieved success. For now , here i stop. On the other hand, no disrespect to dogs, i had written something about feelings a while back called "i do not follow". Pardon me for not posting the link as the format has changed and im operating on a touchphone.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#10
Yes, dear Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich to respond first. This is a comment that merits pausing at.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#9
You are the best to give practical examples of a theory or hypothesis dear Sara Jacobovici. I loved your writing " Why else do we find parents going to their newborns to make sure they're still breathing'. i may now dare say the greater love is, the greater fear is. Regarding your question "...asking the question, can we feel X without feeling fear"?- I say this was a prime factor in writing this buzz. My answer is most likely yes.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
Checked the link and it is quite interesting Yogesh Sukal

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#7
May be you wish to elaborate more on your interesting finding Brian McKenzie

Sara Jacobovici

Sara Jacobovici

4 years ago #6

How can I comment on a buzz related to a father missing his daughter? Dear Ali Anani, you incorporate all life events into your understanding of all aspects of your life. This is proof that emotions can not take place in isolation. It is only with someone as aware as you who can make use of this awareness. Marketing exploits our basic emotions to draw us in to their products. If I start with how I feel about my product or services, that is the emotion that will be used to draw my clients or customers in. I think they call it being "authentic". As far as the equations go, I agree with yours, "Love = Joy + Fear". Why else do we find parents going to their newborns to make sure they're still breathing. I am sure that we do the same from time to time with our loved ones. You have inspired me Dr. Ali to look at whether some emotions, like fear, are always present, asking the question, can we feel X without feeling fear?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#5
This is an amazing comment dear debasish majumder. Surprisingly, only this morning I commented on a buzz by saying time has same supply, but increasing demands and so time is getting more precious. Your comment filled me with joy. I appreciate your sharing the buzz as other bees did. This is of very special value to me and touches my heart for Sara is away from home.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#3
"...and somehow we are trained to choose even when their is no compulsion". This is a great saying dear Devesh Bhatt. Is a there a choice is another question? Can we have one without the other. It is the realization and acceptance of reality. You make me think and I thank you.

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #3

Emotions don't exist in isolation. Having them together isn't a bad thing as it is natural. Choosing to deny or supress one for the other is what creates the problem and somehow we are trained to chose even when their is no compulsion. Why cant we save our choices for the compelling moments and why can't we avoid equating allowance or acceptance with a grab it all?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

These are not equations to be memorized dear . They are only like a torch to guide us and empower our perspectives.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

4 years ago #1

Ah, life, with all rationale human equations, is an ordeal. Let's live the right way!

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