Pairing Minds

Pairing Minds

It is easy to write comments that criticize new thinking. People tend to stay with the familiar. Imagine a training company delivering courses on strategic planning and its reaction to a new idea that strategic thinking is no more valid because of the rapid changes in our world on all fronts. Would the training company accept the challenging idea or fight it?

The maturity in responding widely to new ideas plays a great part in how we react to new ideas.
Aurorasa SimaΒ is in a wrote a great post on LinkedIn titled β€œThe surprising danger of being a blogger”.Β  The suggestion that attracted my attention is β€œTry to find the hidden gems in the cloud of dismiss-worthy feedback”. This is pertinent to posts that suggest new ideas.

I experienced this β€œdanger” myself on my buzz titled β€œPairing Repellent Comments” In line with Aurorasa wrote, Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMA made the following comment, which I believe is mature, to the point and is moral. Jean wrote β€œPersonally, I've found something which resonates with me in almost every article or post I've chosen to read. In short, disagreeing or holding another point of view doesn't give any of us the freedom to personally attack the individual who wrote it. While the beliefs, ideas and interests of those whose posts/articles we read aren't necessarily our own, I believe we should all follow these basic rules - 1) Maintain your professionalism; 2) be respectful and agree to disagree. 3) Speak only for yourself (we have no right to speak for others unless asked to); 4) Speak of the facts (absolutely essential) or use the phrase 'I believe'.

As simple as these four rules may be; yet their effect is profound. I believe that pairing of minds by having opposite thinking is a great way for all of us to learn. However; the reverse is true also. I find Rule 4 of particular interest β€œ4) Speak of the facts (absolutely essential) or use the phrase 'I believe'. This is what I experienced last week. I gave examples of reverse thinking and what it could do. A commenter made me sound as if I am ignorant in spite of all the examples I cited from literature. This gives me the opportunity to provide more examples here. The commenter is not violating the rules, but is also denying the efforts of all people who work hard to publicize their experiences. The question that remains is β€œwhat motivates those people to behave this way”?

The Importance Of Thinking Backwards, And 5 Inverted Questions ...

Charlie Munger on the Value of Thinking Backward and Forward

GET AHEAD BY THINKING BACKWARDS β€” Manifesto

Moving Forward with Backward Thinking | blog

Reverse chronology - Wikipedia

Reverse Chronology: how & why to write backwards | GreatStorybook ...

How to spot a liar: get them to tell their story backwards | Daily Mail ...

Story Reverse - Changing Minds

Reverse Planning - Portland Community College


These are few examples from literature. Again, I believe reverse thinking is a great way to solve problems and generate new ideas. I shall given real practical and business examples of the ways reverse thinking led to commercial products in a dedicated buzz.

As much as the authors have responsibility to write useful materials, equally the commenter have the responsibility of being responsible for what they comment. In fact, the risks for the commenter might be greater than those for the author.

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Β I added the graph above in an attempt to focus our discussion. The value of a comment and its relevancy to the post versus its β€œtone” of wording (hostile, belligerent, personal, etc.) is shown in the quadrants below.Β 

The cycle starts by rejecting new ideas, proceeding to resisting them, to accepting them and then demanding what we rejected. The cycle shall freeze on comments that just have no value for they shall never be accepted or demanded.


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Comments
Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#166
Thank you Jennifer Leach-Trask for reminding me of this post. I am glad it resonates with you and I am sure you have experienced the same with comments that are not balanced and irrelevant.

Javier 🐝 CR

Javier 🐝 CR

3 years ago #154

#163
Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee we are working on thesw kind of features. Anyway Respect is a must on beBee !

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#163
I drew the attention of Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

I avoid people who are aggressive in their comments. It would be nice to have a block feature on beBee like they have on LinkedIn. I welcome opposing points of view when they are expressed cordially without some subtrofugal intent.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

3 years ago #151

#161
Thanks, Phil. It makes me sad that some comments here have a negative tone. I think we all need to keep energy for battles worth fighting. I don't want beBee to become a battle field. :-)

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #150

#160
Thank you, Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic, for helping to keep the record straight. And my thanks to Aurorasa Sima for her continued friendship and willingness to speak openly and fairly. My best to both of you.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

3 years ago #149

There have been some interesting comments on Aurorasa's post β€œThe surprising danger of being a blogger” on LinkedIn. I found her reply to Phil Friedman's comment relevant to this thread. Different people, different platform, different point views. As one commenter said, and I agree, "Thank God we are not all the same!"πŸ‘πŸ˜Š PHIL FRIEDMAN: ".....That said, I am pleased to see you emphasize that narcissism often stands in the way of intellectual exchange. A very ugly phenomenon is emerging on social media these days. It seems we've moved on from bad-mouthing the trolls (people who rudely attack authors ad hominem) to criticizing even those who politely question or disagree an author's ideas or statements. This appears due to the author's feeling any such disagreement reflects bads on the author. Which seems to me a paradigm case of narcissism." AURORASA SIMA: "Wow, Phil, thank you! As you said, we spoke a lot and I am not sure if I ever told you: You're one of the best I know at handling difficult feedback. You listen, you reflect and if you decide someone has a point you make changes. That takes a lot of self-confidence, respect for other's opinions and an open mind. I've seen that phenomenon too that you are talking about. Even when feedback is neither personal nor condescending, people can be quick to dismiss it. Some even resort to name-calling. We often call people "bully", "stalker", "troll" these days. And we call ourselves "ninja", "entrepreneur" and "leader" and are really flabbergasted when someone finds a factual error in one of our revelations. I think the most common reason for people to reject all critical comments is that they feel insecure and perceive the feedback more personal or more discrediting than it's meant. And that might leave us baffled, especially when we were trying to help someone and had no intention to hurt them." https://www.linkedin.com/in/aurorasacoaching/detail/recent-activity/

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #148

#156
Dang...ain't using them then. Rather fancy Promessa but decided to donate me body to science. Good thing the resplendent Dr. Herr Spreademout (can't recall his name, but he did these magnificent poised-body plasticity-types things with real cadavers)...anyhoo, he's a bouncy-ball now; has passed. Just as well - my kids would hate the idea of me poised in the buff! :)

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #147

#157
Dunno Harvey Lloyd...I did the freebie; 'openness to experience' and 'agreeableness' were my highest scores. That said, our lives have been overtaken by the dastardly usurper, Parkinson's, so my life is no longer my own. Not a quantitative factor, care-giving :)

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #146

#155
so. What were your two high letters?

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #145

#155
the word is dirived from the Greek goddess of Digitas. A land between hades and the surface. Known as middle earth

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #144

Did my test Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee: the word 'Dignitas' was mentioned....... :)

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #143

#145
Some timely sowing there, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee's buzzin'!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#149
Thank you Milos and when I do I shall acknowledge your initiative. I have already some thoughts

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

@144- I repeat my comment for it has many typos (I shouldn't use the mobile for commenting) This is another idea blossoming dear @Milos Djukic. I shall be happy to invest time on it. It resonates with me strongly

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#144
this is anotheer idea blossoming dear Milos Djukic. I shall be happyy toinvedt time on it. It resonates with me strongly

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#148
do you write poetry dear Milos?

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #138

#143
I leave that DISC only for you Ali, with much pleasure.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #137

#138
"Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you." - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #136

#145
Very true Ali. ("Π’hΠ΅ intellectual challenges make us closer, always.")

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #135

#138
Yes please Ali my friend.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Summing up the last thirty comments of so shall reveal many new ideas for all of us to ponder on. I can remember two for now- introducing the DISC profile and the modified one thanks to Harvey Lloyd. Glad to see new flowers blossoming.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #133

#141
Maybe we should work together on this. This is an ongoing project. And it is happening right now. It is a life challenge for me. Thank you.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#137
Honestly and with all seriousness your modified DISC Profile is a great one dear Milos Djukic. You may claim a copyright for it. It is because you are this profile that you see me in your mirror this way. I bow my head in respect for you

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#139
What I wrote to dear Milos Djukic.. I am taking a second breathe and a long one too.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#135
Isn't this a title for a great buzz from you?

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #129

#136
:)

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #128

There are many wonderful, intelligent, gentle, passionate alpha males here that understand what's at stake if Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee leaves Bebee. I am so grateful to those that have already made their voice heard. Us women delight in his exquisite manners and grace. Speak up!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#134
Dear Milos Djukic - reading your comment and your faith in me are like walking in a garden of flowers. That is great feelings. All of a sudden I feel stopped by a pungent smell Unfortunately, not only empty drums make the highest sounds, so are pungent smells. This is the reason I stepped back a little before making my final decision. I know if I dd, I would leave as I experienced the same on LI, I would depart. So, I stopped to smell the flowers of your fragrant comment and your voice of persuasion. I have deep respect for you and actually I tagged one of your comments today on another buzz because of my deep respect for you. I learnt a lot from you. The other day I watched the video on your presentation of hydrogen embrittlement and I know that I am talking to a genuine material engineer and scientist. My respect for you will make me pause again for if I say no to you to whom I would say yes?

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #126

#128
One DISC for my friend Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, with a lot of respect :) D for Determination I for Interweaving of internal maturity S for Self-similarity C for C-butterfly "This goal can and must be attained in this life. But even if this does not happen, remember that he who has found the way once, always returns to this world with an internal maturity that enables him to continue his work. Man is firmly convinced that he is awake; in reality he is caught in a net of sleep and dreams which he has unconsciously woven himself." - Gustav Meyrink Kindly, M

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #125

#133
#134 Another outstanding gentleman of impeccable character, my dear Milos Djukic...how can you resist! Can I borrow a bit of brain to do my test then? I'd use my own but can't find it :)

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #124

Pairing fractals :)

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #123

#102
Have a great day Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, my dear friend. Unpleasant experiences in contact with other people on social media, should not cause disappointment and loss of faith in humanity, kindness and the importance of helpfulness. When I was criticized then I was the strongest man in my village. People with outstanding qualities were never adored by the majority. However, there are exceptions and that's what is worth my friend. You are that exception. Those who raise the standards are also blessed, even more, despite occasional misunderstandings. I will continue to read you, with great pleasure. Thank you for being you. Fractals forever.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#132
I doubt because there are so many interacting responses that cheating will be discovered as lack of consistency. I know you are joking Prince Lisa Vanderburg, but this is a clarification note only.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #121

#131
I will....just wondering if I can cheat? :) Just as soon as I'm back from schlepping my hubby off to his appointment. Back later Prince Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#130
Yes, please do. I tell you that I shall be surprised if you don't score high on I (Influence). You know this for fact dear Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #119

#128
whoa....must check that out! You look perfectly aligned dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#127
As long as it is not a "DISC on my Back" Lisa Vanderburg

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#126
I think it was British company that started profiling behavior in four areas: D for Dominance I for Influence S for Steadiness C for Compliance. You can have your test and profile for free (summary report only) at this site: https://www.123test.com/disc-personality-test/id=fYXVFE2HVIY4KCZ02013 I hope you and Lisa Vanderburg find this info useful

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #116

#126
haha...discs all 'round please....Harvey Lloyd??? :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#124
I received a very touching message and I shall share my response to it with you Lisa Vanderburg. I know you shall understand me more upon reading it.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #114

#123
I wouldn't know what a DISC is if I didn't slip one, but I sure as H-E-double-toothpick wanna know yours my friend! Keep on keeping on - we all want you HERE my friend Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#122
Thank you again and again my friend Harvey Lloyd. As I said before, I am being careful not to rush into a decision and pausing because of my deep respect for you and all friends who "handicapped" my hands with the chains of their support. In fact, I have just shared with Lisa Vanderburg my DISC profile. May be he sees things in it that I don't see. I am not only listening, but also making you an integral part of my decision-taking process. Now, would wonder what my DISC profile looks like. I promise to share it in due course.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#113
I fully understand your comment and your positive energy. I am listening to your wisdom Harvey Lloyd

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#117
I have a wealth of great memory of our fruitful exchange of comments Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt. I appreciate your call and I promise to give it all due consideration. Thank you.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #110

Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee It did highlight, but when I posted it, the highlight left :) I try again!

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #109

#111
I'd love to hear from Javier 🐝 beBee right around now, because I think there's a lot more here than meets the eye! Being in high-stake sales must teach you amazing intuition Harvey Lloyd, as you've displayed here - thank you!

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #108

#115
I wait with endless patience....

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#111
Like I said to Lisa Vanderburg. Thank you

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#112
Lisa Vanderburg comment. I said "it is pointing to the exit gate", meaning that I am pausing for if I decide I will. I shall digest your comment along with that of Harvey's. You are the people to make me pause because of my deep respect to you.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #105

#110
Without a formal education i had to learn quickly to communicate in many different environments. I had to learn the negotiating processes to better understand the processes. Each of these areas centered around people. I too have enjoyed our many conversations and journeys of exploration. I hope my comment may offer some insight into the bazaar world of American personalities. Whats being implied and what is being said is two different things.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #104

#107
You leave with your dignity intact, my dear man Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. You're right; if there are no boundaries that we may as well be on facebook. Would you be a love and take Phil with you? :) I hope you absorb Harvey Lloyd's comment before you go.......

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #103

#108
Not sure of a salute as it may imply intelligence beyond my capabilities but my hope is that the comot necessarily agreement. In my days of sales and construction on major industrial projects i would often meet this personality type. Two very high D's in a room usually will end in an argument. I had to come to understand not only my own style but theirs also, if any sale was to happen. Several of the relationships developed, became friendships. But getting past communications styles was always a barrier. Intent is easier to deal with, walk away if the intent is not win-win. But if it is merely a communications style barrier, it takes time understand. Thanks

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#106
if only all people have your understanding and maturity Harvey Lloyd. People gather much more around a car accident than say a wedding. I don't like to be part of an accident/clash and I would rather avoid it. You have been a treasure along the way with your guiding comments. I do appreciate every minute of our discussions. Thank you

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#106
Harvey Lloyd- ifonly all peole have your understanding and maturity. People gather much more around a car accident than say a wedding. I don't like to be part of an accident/clash and I would rather avoid it. You have been a treasure along the way with your guiding comments. I do appreciate every minute of our discussions. Thank you

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #100

#106
I salute you Harvey Lloyd!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#105
I would rather be missed than stay with being cursed dear Lisa Vanderburg. I reached my saturation point in responding to very personal-targeted comments in a buzz explaining my point of view only to receive more of the distracting comments. I don't wish to be involved in these dialogues and if escaping is the answer then it is actually courageous in cases like this. Avoidance is better than getting a traffic accident, which is bound to come.

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

3 years ago #98

Communication Style (Excerpt from website) "The High-DC is both systematic and demanding, and his communication style will reflect these attributes. His interaction with other people can typically be characterised as serious and forceful. He also brings a sense of competition to his communication; he will, for example, rarely avoid an argument for the sake of keeping the peace. The High-DC's rather brusque style often leads others to assume a certain level of insensitivity. In fact, this perception is inaccurate - he has a strongly sensitive personality, in the sense that he is capable of focusing on the details of a situation, but his practical turn of mind means that this facet is rarely obvious to those around him." (end quote) http://www.9types.com/movieboard/messages/12604.html Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee i have watched this discourse with some interest. I too have had some "conflicting" discussions concerning the writing style of @Phil Friedman. I had to resort back to my old Myers-Briggs days and now DiSC profile to better understand the communications style. I believe, here, we are seeing the clashing of styles rather than intent, based on the latest series of comments. I offer this up for your digestion and understanding with no defense for the arguments presented within the comments. Each has merit from the perspective (Personality type) that they are given. I am only offering a new perspective of understanding that we might see the comments in a different light. The judgement of such comments is certainly within the eyes of the individual.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #97

#104
This is just too sad for words Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. That a platform such as this will delete the comments from the author of a buzz to 'avoid trouble' from a third party is just too much. You'll be missed my friend!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

One main reason for me to have left LI was arrogant and argumentative comments that propelled me out to leave. In spite of my departures seventeen months ago I still have people there who urge me to go back and they share my buzzes on beBee. This is the paradox- I have compliments and acknowledgements from the place I deserted and very few writers here on beBee who write nonsense comments that are pointing me to decide to go to the exit gate. Here is one share of my buzz on LI to see the difference. I am not at all seeking even appreciation;; equally I am not here to enter into discussions that are fruitless, tasteless and arrogant. Ned McDonnell III, CFA PMP Free-lance Consulting Work; Start-ups and Editing 16h People know I am a fan of this cultural blogger, James #Olcott. This intro sums up why this narrative remains so gripping for so long. https://lnkd.in/eAg_-JC Like those of Dr Ali #Anani, another cultural blogger from an entirely different milieu, these essays make the real world real again. Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee- I voiced out my concern. This platform is like a brides' dress so clean till we spoil it with one drop of coffee. I don't wish to be this drop. I want beBee to be as clean as ever. I am sure you understand me perfectly well.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Conflict is rarely constructive and is mostly negation or process of forgetting bad conduct. Like a car accident, nobody benefits, but everyone loses. I thank all commenters for making this platform a place for calm discussions. We need storms to brainstorm, but we don't need Harvey-like behavior. When conflict starts to develop to grudge things can deteriorate fast. A small fire might burn a forest. Thank you to Louise Smith, but I truly see any hope of avoiding a scenario that happened with others as well. I thank all my fellow bees here who shared their feelings. The issue is greater than professional conduct. It is more on a personal level and the only way is to leave contact with people who have this feeling towards me.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#99
We need your wisdom Milos Djukic

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Thank you Louise Smith. This is a free platform. You may at your wish.

Louise Smith

Louise Smith

3 years ago #92

#79
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee I used to coach Debating if that's any help. My team always got into the Finals !

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #91

Speech and writing are not the same. The latter is a shortcut to the unconscious. We should strive to become philanthropists trough application of some principle. The Internet is an idiot, but we are not. We learned something and it is not a shame to share knowledge further in a digital world. Yes of course, why not. Knowledge has no boundaries, just as ignorance. β€œIt is the narrow, hidden tracks that lead back to our lost homeland, what contains the solution to the last mysteries is not the ugly scar that life's rasp leaves on us, but the fine, almost invisible writing that is engraved on our body.” - Gustav Meyrink, The Golem

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #90

#86
Milos Djukic, thank you for speaking out in defense of diversity of ideas and opinion. I've personally valued to a very high degree your and my sometimes intense discussions and even disagreements over the many years we've been interacting on a wide variety of topics. I do, however, have to take exception to your statement that, "The beauty of social media is primarily reflected through diversity and willingness to accept other people's views or motivations." I would say instead that it is our duty on Social Media to deal forthrightly and honestly with other peoples' ideas and opinions, and not retreat into indignation because someone tenaciously takes issue with our views. Cheers, my friend.

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #89

Ali Anani> "If you would read comment #75 in which Phil wrote "Ali says he uses "negative" in a value-neutral way. Which may be true, although I don't really believe he does" Ali, I regret that I may have inadvertently given you the wrong impression when I said what I said. My intent was NOT to say or imply that you were being duplicitous. But rather in an informal way argue that your own honest use of the term 'negative' belied what your conscious intellect was moving you to assert. For the record, and as Milos Djukic can attest, I often speak that way, indeed have to him several times during the course of our several years' dialogue about all manner of things social, philosophical, and scientific. Like the time I told him I didn't believe him when he said he writes and publishes without any regard for being read. (Wow, you should have seen the sparks fly in that discussion!) I believe that you and I suffer a linguistic and cultural disconnect that stands in the way of your convincing me of your position and me you. But please, do not fret... for it is not your job persuade me of the truth of your assertions, nor mine to persuade you about mine. Indeed, I never saw that as my job even back when I was teaching logic and philosophy at university. Continued... Pt. II

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #88

Ali Anani - Pt. II... I personally considered all of my students then, and all of my readers and commenters now, to be my peers with whom to interact, not acolytes to be led or persuaded And I saw and see my sole responsibility to be to offer them intellectual stimulation and an honest exchange of ideas and opinions. On the other side of the coin, when I publish something, I genuinely value all comments, including dissenting ones, provided only that they are substantive in nature and on point. Actually, I don't even care if those comments are polite or not, as long as they are germane to the discussion and not purely ad hominem. That is the framework in which I make comments on posts written by others -- which I grant is hard for some to understand. Consequently, I shall not comment on any of your posts again, as that is clearly your preference. I will, however, continue to refuse to believe that the ferocious and foundationless comments about me, penned by Lisa V. nominally in your defense, actually represent your thoughts. My best to you. And cheers!

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #87

#88
Lisa, just to keep the record clear, Dr. Anani himself says that "What prompted me to write this buzz is to respond to @Phil Friedman on my previous buzz without mentioning his name." I guess in your opinion, it is out of line to respond, notwithstanding that it was Ali himself who sought to continue the exchange. As to the rest of your tirade, you are free to think what you will... as am I. And I shall not comment further except to point out that your reaction and statements stand as a near perfect example of what I talked about in https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/the-rising-tide-of-aggressive-passivity My best to you for a long and healthy life. Cheers!

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #86

#89
'There are senior bees who differed with me, but they expressed their differences in a way that makes our differences bridges for learning. No hard feelings happened. Sometimes I convinced them. Other times they convinced me.' That's it in a nutshell Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Debate, debate, debate! But with integrity and respect, as you always do my friend!

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #85

#86
Thank you for your wisdom and courage, and the perfect timing Milos Djukic. Un-heated heads have better perspective :) And I apologize to all if my comments offends; it's quite possible than my desire to try and understand this feud has added some fuel to the fire. I also agree that for concept to grow, critique is needed, but what I don't see is 'tactful critiques' in the mentioned baiting. But your advise is well received and I am grateful!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#82
+I am sorry, but your comment is devoid of any value. You succeeded again in diverting the main theme of the buzz with your foundles comments. I don't want to try give explanations for doing what you are doing. But from now on I shall not respond to any of your comments because I have other things to do.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#86
AGain, thank you dear Milos Djukic. I appreciate your wisdom and integrity. If you would read comment #75 in which Phil wrote "Ali says he uses "negative" in a value-neutral way. Which may be true, although I don't really believe he does" What would you say if this comment was addressed to you? I leave this to you. Thank you

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#87
Thank you my dear friend Milos Djukic on my previous buzz without mentioning his name. He insists on writing comments on my buzzes whenever he thinks he finds a distortion in my thinking. I challenge him if he has ever written one positive comment on any of my buzzes. I kept my professionalism to the extent that I shared his latest buzz when we was heavily engaged in writing irrelevant comments on my buzz. Just reading his earlier comments here will reveal to you what I mean. There are senior bees who differed with me, but they expressed their differences in a way that makes our differences bridges for learning. No hard feelings happened. Sometimes I convinced them. Other times they convinced me. But with Phil, the more he comments, the more I feel the distance between us. What amazes me is that my fellow bees got more angry with Phils' comments than I did. I avoided any personal attack and I shall adhere to my code of conduct. This doesn't mean yielding to comments that make no sense to me. This is my professionalism.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#88
Dear Lisa Vanderburg. I shall be very frank and say the last thing I would consider is leaving beBee because of him. His comments didn't move even one hair of mine. He isn't hurting me; far more he is hurting himself. I was fully honest telling him that the differences between us are ocean wide. There is no way I could accept his logic or reasoning. When we have a stream of discussions flowing he interrupts it with issues that have nothing to do with the main topic. I told him this frequently and he realizes that I did. I do appreciate your open and clear position. I assure you that I have many messages from outstanding bees who expressed their concern of the repellency of the comments Phil is insisting on writing. I don't wish to say more now in respect to my fellow bee Milos Djukic and his comment which I am responding to now.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #80

#85
You know Phil, I've had it really. I think you mix up our 'genteel' way of talking we all do with Ali as some sort of ass-kissing - it's not. His way of speaking affects most of us in a positive and relaxing boundary where we can talk freely. I looked back at maybe the last 15 or so of Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee other buzzes and despite him sharing a couple of your buzzes, when you do comment to his, it is always negative or contentious. Your comments on this, the one prior and this particularly this: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/emergent-thinking Those are only three that I'll quote. You don't like the man, you think we're all sycophants and you're just hell-bent on making it all about you. I may not be your intellectual equal, but I'm not as mean-spirited as you seem to be towards one individual that you've singled out.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #79

Actually, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee are really good friends :) That's just not clear yet to everyone. Π’hΠ΅ intellectual challenges make us closer, always.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #78

Maybe I am too boring and often repetitive, but I will repeat again some of my views on this occasion. Sorry for the repetition. My experience suggests that the effects of tactful critiques are often highly undervalued. I think that criticism is useful for everyone, but social media criticism modeling, that will have fruitful effects (stretch and grow), is a special kind of art. There are some wonderful people here, who are not prepared to "survive" battles without serious consequences. We must be careful. What is important is the way in which we manifest our disagreement. People tend to feel threatened when they are attacked. A heated discussion can be very fruitful, but also unproductive. A good foundation is certainly unquestionable respect of diversity and a very careful interpretation of other people's attitudes. Communication is always a two way process. "Nice words and iron door opens!" A nice word does not need to be only agreement or approval. Well, all becomes much clearer once you understand the power of constructive discussions. Everyone has the right to make an error in judgment, but also to correct its position, if it is not too vain. For that reason, I emphasized the importance of personal preparedness and "Willingness to answer boldly and to be corrected". If someone has an aspirations to make tough decisions and to be a leader, then this is the absolutely necessary skill. The beauty of social media is primarily reflected through diversity and willingness to accept other people's views or motivations.

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #77

#80
Lisa, my point is not only about a word, as you say, but about the structure and ethics and value of intellectual exchange. And the observation that, on social media, which is mostly about vanity and preening, many who publish are unprepared to engage in any intellectually meaningful way. For the record, I do ignore those posts and comment which I find to be pure drivel. Cheers!

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #76

#75
"dialectic of ideas is often additive and mutually supportive" This is how it ought to be.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#82
There is obvious an ocean of difference between us. Bridging it requires talents that I lack.

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #74

#78
First of all, Ali, there is no doubt that your comment about my comment being stupid is negative. Because it does not address the substance of my comment in any meaningful way. You can insist that 'negative' requires a "pair" for meaning, but that is only your a priori assumption, as the requirement for a pair is completely contextual. I guess, however, that if pressed, I would pair useless negative with useless positive, the latter being on the order of "Oh Dr. Anani, how brilliant you are in stimulating our thoughts about all those nagative commenters out there." :-) I do not deny the existence of wholly negative comments, nor do I defend them. I only remind everyone that too often the allegation is False and used as a club to quell even healthy and polite disagreement. Cheers!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#80
I don't get it too and I wonder how many other bees feel the same!!!

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #72

#75
I just don't get it Phil Friedman.....why are you insisting on being so very negative (pun intended)? If you don't like the content of a buzz, why comment on it at all? This is like β€œPairing Repellent Comments” all over again. You clearly have an issue with Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, but your comments on both buzzes boils down to mere semantics over a word. Can you explain to ME so I can understand?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#68
I am having this experience right now Louise Smith.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#75
There are comments of no use and I call them repellent and I mean comments that only do harm. Can you tell me Phil Friedman if i respond to you like this (which I never do)- your comment is the most stupid comment I have come across. What benefit do you get? What do you learn from it? So, I disagree with you completely when you write " although I don't really believe he does". You are the proof and I am responding to your comment with civility. Please refer to the diagram which I added below to the buzz. The problem is that I look at negative and positive as a pair and both need each other. But you are talking about comments that make no sense and therefore I can't pair them with anything.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #69

#76
trouble...my middle name :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#74
Spontaneous reactor- with you being the catalyst Lisa Vanderburg

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #67

#35
Lada, in my view, the opposite of an agreeing or supporting comment is a disagreeing comment. And not all disagreeing comments are negative. Ali says he uses "negative" in a value-neutral way. Which may be true, although I don't really believe he does because he talks about the infamous comment as negative. The problem, as I see it, is too many people think of all disagreement as negative. When in fact the dialectic of ideas is often additive and mutually supportive. The mind is like a muscle. If you feed it sweets all the time, and do not exercise it, it grows weak and soft. So those who challenge us actually do us a favor. And it is only our own insecurities and vanities which keep us from seeing that. Cheers!

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #66

#70
#71 & #72 lol, Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt is in danger of spontaneous combustion because he thinks, like...ALL THE TIME!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#72
Love your sense

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #64

#71
you are too kind. I disagree :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#70
No, I disagree as both of you are "dangerously smart"

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #62

#66
first i thought youre too smart for me. Now i think youre dangerous too.

Louise Smith

Louise Smith

3 years ago #61

#33
Life experience and a great Mother !

Louise Smith

Louise Smith

3 years ago #60

#23
I have had this experience on LI and similarly when confronted the person disappears. Sometimes I google them and send an email to them through their website or work email - that ensures I never hear from them again.

Louise Smith

Louise Smith

3 years ago #59

#12
Great way to deal with detractors Cyndi wilkins !

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #58

#65
haha...busted Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt - a bit of both! :) I bet I know one helluva lot less than you do though! AND I have the memory of a...oh, forgot. You are too sweet about my use of language - I do love messing about with it - drove my nuns mad at boarding school...yay! But that's because I was a 'savage'. An American child in an English school miles from anywhere. They were deliciously batty and hovered along the corridors. Yup, I've had a fair number of fisticuffs here and on LI, but that was before they knew I could melt brains with my eye-balls :) You're a blossom, Devesh!

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #57

#59
even if i was offended , it never did me any good on social media (grrr..) but i must say this... nothing in any of your comments was offensive in any way. To have good practice with offensive comments i suggest.. on linkedin... Jim Devine.. Bleddyn Davies and Sundaram (blissfully unemployed) for a start.. strangely their offensive had logical merit... what makes them special is consistency. What makes bebee special is the absence of such comments, helps ideas bloom here. Now i enjoy what they write, some of the most amazing feedback. Simply because the idea blooms elsewhere and can freely take a jab or two on Linkedin. I don't know many languages. By indian standards , i am poor in most of them and i do not know Computers or Maths ( although i differ here) or the intellect to learn anything certifiable. Your feedback is an amazing use of language ( i remember what you wrote on everybody's struggling) and i remember the expressions of staring off a rat. And i believe you are either being humble or trying to sweet talk me. Eitherway, i'm glad to have this conversation. Thanks

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #56

#55
Aw...thanks for the bandaid ! I may have to look for a helmet next....lol. You're a puddin'! :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#56
I used it the link before. Goodness me that is a buzz on its own, especially the translation from Arabic to English.Google Translate is better with some languages. But to use it blindly it can lead to some funny translations.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#57
If your dirty laundry has such fragrance dear Lisa Vanderburg then I imagine the sweet smell of your laundry afterwards

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #53

#46
LMAO at your buzz Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee! You're priceless! :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#58
Your language is meaningful.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #51

#47
I am humbled Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt, that I didn't offend you too, for that was not my intent. Instead, you are gracious in your response: that's a gentleman! How you manage all your languages is unimaginable to me...I can't even get bleedin' English right :) Many thanks!

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

#52
without all my gobblygook of course. But you get the idea.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #49

#40
Phew...I'm relieved that my comment (so far) has been received in the spirit it was offered Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! Thank you for allowing me to bring out the dirty laundry, my friend....it's the mother in me :)

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

#52
Try this: https://translate.google.com/#en/es/Great%20comparison.%20%20I%20have%20been%20an%20introvert%20for%20years.%20%20I%20do%20slingshot%20into%20the%20outside%20world%20from%20time%20to%20time.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#53
With topping of your kindness and appreciation the piece of cake shall be more delicious.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#50
Asesh Datta- thank you so much for your to-the-point comment. I like your sense and your writing " It also creates all those reverse thinking processes". I believe you said it very well here. It is reverse effect and this way we learn.

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #45

#44
Too many languages in India. Although i would say Pure "Hindi" is a rarity today. Computers do not have "Hindostani = Hindi + Urdu" and many cannot read Urdu. Maybe you get people to revisit Pure Hindi. I think Sweta Parmar would be amazed too.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#47
I was responding to the comment of Lisa Vanderburg #38 in which she mentioned you in the last two lines of the comment.

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #43

#38
i get it. Food for thought. Ideas and expressions take time. Whether in the head or out there. I saw the buzz as "creative" and certain comments as "caution". I believe, They are complimentary and not competition. But i was impatient with conclusions. Darn too many c letter words. It might seem obsessive. Patience is permissible here, so i wait.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

#45
You'll probably enjoy this: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@joyce-bowen/a-writer-died-un-escritor-murio. Not my writing, but I chuckled myself to death over it.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#44
Please tag me when you publish in English next time. My daughter has just passed her Spanish Language exam with very good evaluation. May be now she can help me do the same.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

#43
I publish in English and translate into Spanish since beBee is based in Spain. I like to recognize our Spanish folks. I have followers in India, so I am experimenting in publishing in Hindi. Alas--translators can be so inaccurate, but I try.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#42
Thank you Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. Did you stop publishing in English? I have seen recently one or two posts in a language that I don't understand.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#38
PART 2 As for Devesh 🐝 Bhatt I wish you would elaborate more so that people would read him correctly. SOmetimes he tends to write very briefly. This is great, but not at all times. Iam tagging him to make his comment clearer and also to respond to your question. I appreciate greatly your contributions to the discussions Lisa Vanderburg and the clarity with which you voice out your views.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#38
I love the you you comment Lisa Vanderburg. You mix your comments and even if they were somewhat "bitter" for some authors you make them sweet by adding humor. I remember writing to a commenter recently "we have one agreement point- not to agree". It happens and sometimes I turn a blind eye to a comment or take a "small nip" of it and respond to it while leaving the rest of the comment out. I try my best to avoid embarrassment to the commenter. But I like your way- you say it with humor. As for Phil Friedman- it was clear that I couldn't convince him and he couldn't convince me either. Till this minute I have my disagreements ouzz with all his comments. I accept this because no harmful words were used. If I were to write the buzz again I would still use negative and positive the way I did. It is not categorizing comments as negative with reference to the views by the author. I still also disagree that the electricalt; my belief is still very relevant.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #35

Re: comment below....oops; said it was more than 2000 what-sits, so I checked on Word. Wasn't. Re-posted so now hyperlinks! Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee and Phil Friedman!

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

3 years ago #34

Read the buzz and comments, and the excellent Aurorasa SimaI post! Thanks for the heads-up Chris 🐝 Guest Cert.Prof.Acc.SA...you make some great points #10 that add perfectly to Jean's in the buzz! As I am the 'smallest' person of all the people here, I'm going to go ahead and address the elephant in the room. Hope this will be of help and not hindrance Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...everyone else; please feel free to respond as your heart leads - I've a thick skin :) IMHO (took me ages to work that out!) the elephant is #24 - Phil Friedman v Ali - in his 'Pairing Repellent Comments', which has reached a staggering 174 comments, and that's in great part thanks to Phil! I am a mere amoeba to these intellectuals, but that doesn't stop me from having an opinion even if it's wrong; the trick is 'rules of engagement'. I 'think' Phil's opinion was originally valid, but he felt he was being negated or misunderstood. Ali understood and did not agree. I 'read' Phil's comment and didn't agree and it snowballed from there. Ultimately, there is no wrong opinion, but manners are essential to engagement and things got a bit too heated there! One thing I can always count on with Ali is the fantabulous (sorry Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess :) ) discussions that evolve from his buzzes! What say you #30 Devesh 🐝 Bhatt? Do this help?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I edited the buzz and added a graph in an attempt to focus the discussions on the quadrant we are discussing.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#35
Thank you Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic you shall find many mutual points between us. What initially started this discussion is a comment that I received on LI from a commenter who had not read a single post of mine. He made a comment stating that all my posts are vacuous and empty of meaning and he wouldn't care to read buzzes by me. Great, but to say this in public raised the issue of authors' dignity. Is the social platform an easy way to write any comment? Is the social platform the scaffolding for stupid comments? By stupid I means comments that represent lose:lose cases? I refrained fro using harsh words, but I did publicize his comment because we shouldn't allow free speech that has no benefit, but harm.

Lada 🏑 Prkic

Lada 🏑 Prkic

3 years ago #31

I just had a conversation with Aurorasa based on her post you've mentioned, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Many people perceive negative feedback as hurtful. Feedback, whether it is positive or negative, is important for our personal and professional growth. Even negative feedback when given to us in a non-judgemental and helpful way, should not be perceived as a hurtful criticism what is often the case. I wrote in one of my posts that it took me time to learn how to accept negative feedback and see a value in it for me. I even learned something new from the interaction with people who gave them. Sadly, not everyone knows how to give the negative feedback. Some commenters haven't the bad intention but they simply lack tact. It is a skill that many of us haven't (yet) developed. For that reason, as Aurorasa said, people who take the time to give us honest feedback in a non-judgemental way and without hidden agenda are like gold.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#33
From interactions with bright people like you Paul Walters. I appreciate your kind words.

Paul Walters

Paul Walters

3 years ago #29

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee Where DO you get this wisdom dear Ali ? is available on line or at my local supermarket...do tell. Great post, thank you

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #28

#31
patience indeed :)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#30
Thank you dear Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt evolve? It is the interactionsns of simple rules that would make this happen, but not a single rule on its own. The second side is can we evolve from these interactions? Time is needed for evolvement. We need some patience.

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

3 years ago #26

I think, Last buzz was : Fresh content meant fresh dialogue meant fresh ideas and fresh inputs. Before this buzz. Everything you wrote had some element of freshness that i could spot and enjoy. This buzz feels, same old same old. Till now. It is dependent greatly on comments for freshness. This is what I BELIEVE: You created fresh content which has great utility in a certain context. Why go for a fresh approach? Because the problem is question still exists and needed contemplation. Now this fresh approach could saturate or keep evolving. Observations of a keen reader certainly help. Probability of a keen reader holding bias against an idea or presuming you to have bias based on reasonable findings is very high. Ultimately the idea must evolve. Dont see it evolving here....YET

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#26
Dear friend Milos Djukic- because you follow self-discipline you don't involve yourself in side and personalized comments and issues. You do it with spontaneity. I recall one time that you disagreed on an issue, but while keeping your authenticity you also kept your respect for others. You don't need to remember simple rules of conduct because you do with maturity. However; there are few comments which intoxicate discussions. Here it becomes how we express ourselves. If I respond to a comment by saying wrong, you are wrong that may eventually create tension. I don't agree with such comments in general for one reason. I have to be first 200% at least that my position is correct. This is a rare case in complex issues such as human behavior. I would say instead- I have a different idea, may be this possibility exists and so on. One last point is that I noticed that two bees only comment on my buzzes if they have criticism. They never said on good word, but that is very fine with me. They use commonsense in their critical points and I respond . I might b wrong in my saying they only comment when they have criticism. They might only be willing to comment when they have a critical point. But at least, they are reading me and I appreciate that. One last type of comment is commenting without reading the post. The other day I read a comment by somebody on a buzz by a great author bee. The author wrote a buzz - an obituary of his/her deceased mother. The comment read "I enjoyed reading the buss greatly. Shared it". I sent an inbox message to the commenter alerting him/her to what the buzz was about. A new comment soon appeared reflecting the content of the buzz. I don't like reading comments from bees that just do it to please the author. They are useless and misleading.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#25
Yes, I am referring to similar accidents Susan \ud83d\udc1d Rooks, the Grammar Goddess. In my case, fellow bees responded to the comment and finally and without using harsh words but firm ones the "gentleman' left the discussions. Personal attacks aside from being unacceptable they also distract the discussions away from the theme of the buzz and turns the discussions to personal issues. Where are maturity and emotional intelligence in such comments?

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#24
I think Susan \ud83d\udc1d Rooks, the Grammar Goddess. On a personal level I say we differed, but still maintained mutual respect. I am personally referring to that person on LI who made his general comment having never read a post written by me before. In this case even though the comment may sound as innocent; in reality it was a personal attack.

Milos Djukic

Milos Djukic

3 years ago #22

#24
Great article by ex-beBee Aurorasa Sima. A must read for sure. Thanks Susan \ud83d\udc1d Rooks, the Grammar Goddess and I disagree on a lot of things, but one thing we can agree. Our friendship is also disagreements. I love when I'm not tailored to everything and everyone. I don't care about positive and negative. These are just perturbations in our heads. The search for the essence; we are usually alone, more or less. In search for the essence sometimes we get to the wall. Then words are nothing more than violence. That's why fractals are forever. Thank you all.

Susan 🐝 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess

#23
Because this is a topic we talk about on all the platforms I blog on, I think we're all figuring out that to take a troll or angry commenter head-on is useless, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. Honestly, I've found that all I need to do is say "thanks for your comment" or something like that and usually I don't see that person again. Once about a year ago on LI, someone did come at me, deriding me for being holier-than-thou, saying I set myself up above everyone else and think I'm the queen of whatever. That was the gist of it; the words were far uglier. I actually called on a very good client -- a LinkedIn Top Voice whose opinion matters to many -- and asked him to respond. He did. With strong but kind words. Problem solved. Other than that, I've only had to block one other person who just wouldn't quit. I just read an interesting post on this topic on LI, and the writer's premise is that there's a hidden danger in blogging, that of becoming narcissistic due to shutting off / not listening to those who disagree with you. When we only allow ourselves to interact with those who DO agree with us, who DO praise us, who Do inflate our ego , we get lost in an ego trip, believing we're just the best thing ever. Here's the link, and I only saw it because our wonderful Milos Djukic shared it on LI: https://successful-online-business.com/2017/09/the-surprising-danger-of-being-a-blogger.html Funny how some ideas show up all around us, isn't it?

Phil Friedman

Phil Friedman

3 years ago #20

Jean L. Serio CPC, CeMA > "... disagreeing or holding another point of view doesn't give any of us the freedom to personally attack the individual who wrote it." So very true Jean and Ali. Indeed, I've personally made that a cornerstone of the interactions I have on social media. And I've laid that position out many times, both on beBee and LinkedIn. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/conversation-isn-t-just-politely-waiting-your-turn-to-speak https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/finding-the-right-balance I followed the comment thread on Dr. Anani's post "Pairing Repellent Comments", but can't say I saw any instances of ad hominem attack. Could you please give some examples to clarify what you mean by "attacking the person, rather than disagreeing with the idea"? When discussing behaviors, it's always easier to understand concrete examples. Thank you and cheers!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
Thank you Susan \ud83d\udc1d Rooks, the Grammar Goddess. I am familiar with your buzzes. I wonder when a commenter who keep writing its meaning as it's meaning what you feel. I like you avoid conflicts. In one or two cases I had to be less polite. A commenter who only read one of my most celebrated buzzes said that are my buzzes are void of meaning. And he went on repeating almost the same. Finally I confronted him and he disappeared. Some commenters distract the discussions by completely irrelevant points and scatter the attention and the flow of comments to the basic idea of a buzz. At some point the author might interfere to stop this distraction. I wonder if you have gone through this experience and how you deal with it?

Susan 🐝 Rooks, The Grammar Goddess

Powerful message, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee, and one that we all need to remember. Even when I write about grammar (now THERE'S a dry topic!) I sometimes get a commenter who comes at me as though I had just violated every sacred screed he or she believes in. I often say something like "that's an interesting way to look at it" or " thanks for weighing in." There's no point in getting in that person's face at all; there would be no winners.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#20
Some time ago I used to be careless or passive about person-directed comments. Not anymore as the aggressor must realize and bear the responsibility for being irresponsible. There is a huge difference between criticising a post or the author. The borderline is clear; surprisingly some commenters still ignore it.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #16

Thank you Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...I like to respond to every one and sometimes I miss a wonderful conversation like this...very true...as a participant in the conversation on another authors post, as well as to your own mind you, you owe it to the people of any social media platform to keep your inflammatory comments to yourself...as someone who has certainly experienced the sting of a 'troll'...the pain I felt as a result of being publicly flogged on the internet made me realize the depth of my impact...I had reached this person and made them feel something...The pain was not mine...it was his....

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#18
I tag you Cyndi wilkins

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#16
Cyndi wilkins- you again inspire with an idea that I am going to explore. It is people who stress themselves so much out of jealousy and feeling inferior so that they have ""minor volcanoes" in their chests. When a volcano erupts "It all comes from within and the inability to digest the experiences of our lives". What causes volcanoes in nature causes the same in their bodies. "When we consume others with our toxic emotions we consume ourselves...".and I may add erupt them.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #13

#14
Yes...I certainly agree with the 'inferiority complex' that is at issue here...or a feeling of being unable to stand on their own when facing adversity...These are the very issues that create not only ill feelings, but ill bodies as well...It is not by chance that one develops heart disease or is eaten away by cancer...It all comes from within and the inability to digest the experiences of our lives...When we consume others with our toxic emotions we consume ourselves...Perhaps what is called for here is a good mind/body nutritionist;-) Sounds like the making of another buzz...I guess we should be thanking the naysayers for stoking our own creative furnaces!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#9
Yes, and I plan to devote a buzz on some recent applications of those links . The scope is wide indeed.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
You vented out some of my concerns Cyndi wilkins will also find your comment very relevant. Your comment sent an idea or term floating in my head. There are toxic employees (may be in part due to the work environment). Likewise; I say there are toxic commenters who "Some are just seeking to breathe some fire so as to stoke their own egos and fan the flames of their own agenda". Would there agenda be different from their agenda at work? If it is related to inferiority complex then they find writing toxic comments satisfactory. They enjoy polluting the environment whether at work or on social platforms. Like you said, their pride rests on trying to deprive others of their contributions. HR managers seek employees from their social profiles. You make me think it would be better if they check their comments. They reflect their characters well.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
Truly, I consider you as my co-author of this buzz . Your comment has been the appetizer for me to write this buzz. So, I congratulate you back. Keep the inspiration, please.

Cyndi wilkins

Cyndi wilkins

3 years ago #9

"As much as the authors have responsibility to write useful materials, equally the commenter have the responsibility of being responsible for what they comment. In fact, the risks for the commenter might be greater than those for the author." I would say the commenter with the opposing views does have a far greater responsibility to the author in terms of the quality of their thoughts and intentions when in disagreement with the content of an article...Some are just seeking to breathe some fire so as to stoke their own egos and fan the flames of their own agenda...I see these people as a 'splintered' personality with no awareness of the consequences to be had as a result of tearing apart the ideas and reflections of others...perhaps because they have not an original thought of their own...Who knows why people behave this way...Most of these folks would not have the courage or the patience to take the time to sit down create a well crafted article....lest they be forced to face their own evil twin in the comments section;-) Water under the bridge my friend Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee...wish them well and let them float on downstream...

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#10
It is constructive comments like yours will look favorably at your both suggestions.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#6
I wish Zacharias \ud83d\udc1d Voulgaris reminded us frequently on keeping behaviors "within boundaries". No insulting is allowed. Your analysis of the tendency to use comments as a vehicle to spread bad feelings by few arrogants is simply on target. Thank you

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

perhaps the commenters, particularly the LI ones, need to chill and see the sharing of an article for what it is: an act of generosity rather than an evangelizing effort. Also, taking their own views more seriously than the content creator's perspective is not only incondusive to any beneficial outcome from this whole experience, but also a waste of their time. Thank you sharing these insightful thoughts on the matter.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#4
Strategy for long-terms in times of rapid change must be adaptive dear Debasish Majumder. Thank you for commenting and sharing the buzz.

Debasish Majumder

Debasish Majumder

3 years ago #4

nice insight Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee ! from the extract at the initial that 'strategic thinking is of no valued as the world is rapidly changing....', but, on contrary, changing world equally having a strategy too, which perhaps one may not able to envisage. however, lovely buzz. enjoyed read and shared. thank you for the buzz.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#2
Dear Laurent Boscherini- your plot worked as it made me happy. Great quote my friend

Laurent Boscherini

Laurent Boscherini

3 years ago #2

Thank you dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee for sharing your very relevant post so educational. " I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. " - J. D. Salinger

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

- I quoted you at length in this buzz.

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