Hardening Hearts

Hardening Hearts

Ideas come from different sources and one of them is reading posts. The idea of this post generated from reading a great post on “A Sound Heart for Virtuous Living” by @Mohammed Abdul Jawad. I commented on the post and wrote in part “In fact you inspire me with an idea for a post upon reading your words "Verily, our hearts are hardened when we examine not our actions and fail to realize our Creator, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds". I am referring in particular to the hardened hearts”.

Hardened hearts- how do we harden them? Are their similarities between hardening materials such as cement, clay, gel and even young tomato plants? Does hardening of hearts provide any benefit? I share my thoughts and findings with the readers.

Good farming practices call for the hardening of young plants so that they may withstand harsh climatic conditions such as strong winds, heat, cold and rain. The way to do it is to start exposing the young plants in pots to outdoors with little sun and wind so that the plants may adapt to them. It is wrong to expose these plants to direct sun light at the beginning because this shall produce adverse effect. Gradually, the grower exposes these plants to harsher climatic conditions till then in due time expose them fully. It is a step-wise process.

Do we harden our hearts and even ideas the same way? I say the answer is yes if we follow gradual exposure steps that that our hearts and ideas don’t turn pale yellow instead of fresh green. We need to follow similar approaches so that we may stand against the harsh conditions of constantly changing social climates. But if we harden our hearts we tend to make our minds less tough. Is this the right goal?

There is a point here that needs addressing. Do we need to harden our hearts to start with? Or, better is it to harden our minds? A material with high hardness that combats scratching on the surface may have low toughness and it bulk fractures under stress. It is having a hard surface, nut with low bulk toughness. The opposites again reside in one place.

So, the question becomes if we rarely may have both toughness and hardness recording high values and the opposite is mostly true. Do we then as humans be better to have tough minds and soft hearts, or hard hearts and soft minds?

Spirituality calls for softened hearts. A hardened heart can dull a person’s ability to feel with others and lower his/her perception and understanding. The Bible considers the heart to be the hub of human personality, producing the things we would ordinarily ascribe to the “mind”. So, with soft hearts we need the opposite in having tough minds. We need minds that don’t crumble under stress.

I read a great post onsoftening-the-hardened-heart” in which the author highlighted the issue of soft hearts. The author, Deborah MacNamara, wrote “a heart can only be softened with the cultivation of safe and caring attachments with others”.
So, with soft hearts we need more of tough minds that can face the stress of modern life. This conclusion is in accordance with a post that I read recently. In this post it is stated that “Someone said recently, in a video I watched, that many people now have weak minds and hard hearts and we need more people with strong minds and soft hearts.

I conclude that we need to bring our kids to grow healthily so that their hearts remain soft, but their minds tough
Ali Anani

I conclude that we need to bring our kids to grow healthily so that their hearts remain soft, but their minds tough. This is the way to prepare them to withstand the winds of the future. The challenge is how to achieve this goal. This is in support of the great post titled “Children”. This post by Lisa Vanderburg is a must read.


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Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#40
If words could only speak dear Clau Valerio. You wrote in your comment a line of beauty and that is "The hug is the permission we give ourselves to connect with another heart, to show ourselves vulnerable, to give and receive". With this understanding I send you not only kisses, but also many hugs. Again, I enjoyed so much your explanation of hardening hearts in your previous comment #39 and again you turn my heart on with the way you expressed it such as: By forgiving, by expressing gratitude, by connecting with nature, by avoiding looking in the wrong direction, by avoiding greed and envy and the rest of your powerful comment. We understand our essence and our power- I love this idea because we need to expand internally to see the world expanding and full of potential possibilities. Honestly, even though you joined the discussions somewhat late dear Clau; yet you add great thoughts to the discussions and bring our awareness to new thoughts.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#38
#37 I am so happy to read a comment by you my dear friend Clau Valerio after such a long time. I welcome you back and I am sure all those bees who got engaged in exchanging comments with you are happy too. I am looking straight ahead and I read your comment with great sense. You remind me that if we have are rich in heart then we see that when we give others we actually help ourselves without asking for it. We we are rich in heart things expand, possibilities emerge and we see the world expanding. I like very much the way you explained the hardening of hearts and how it could happen. On the contrary as you wrote brilliantly " When we envy Envy is pure poison for your heart, possibly the attitude that can harden it the most". I invite my dear Fay Vietmeier to read your comment because I believe you two ladies shall form a great bond of understanding because you both have softened hearts.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#37
I am so happy to read a comment by you my dear friend Clau Valerio after such a long time. I welcome you back and I am sure all those bees who got engaged in exchanging comments with you are happy too. Set free- a wonderful idea and I hope you write yourself Part 2 of this thought.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #32

Lisa Vanderburg While your on "all fours" ... invite & allow words to flow in and then find their way on paper As previously mentioned ... “Set free” (this is the title that comes to my mind reading your comment on "Moments Frozen in Time” I fear the wont of holding on…To me it is untrue. Should gripping fierce do stay my hand, I rather it be you. This is a poem waiting to be written ;~) Lisa

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#35
Thank you for the clarification dear Tausif Mundrawala

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#33
Dear Tausif Mundrawala You have a thought that I can't refute or disagree with. Like we have two minds (right and left) with synchronicity desired between them you are suggesting that our hearts have something similar to the mind. I mean right (passionate) heart and left heart (firm) to balance the right one. This is a new thought for me and I wonder if any research has been done on this issue. You also bring a topic that is interesting in how the mind and heart affect each other. I have a question reading your interesting cousins story. Did the heart soften, or the mind? I am just wondering. I love challenging thoughts and yours is dear Tausif. I have an idea at least for keeping my mind busy. I also thank you for your re-sharing the post.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

1 year ago #29

#25
Apologies, lovely Fay Vietmeier! My charge keeps me on all fours....hunting for lost pills! :) The Henry David Thoreau quote is spot on: try as I might, my glasses will not clear. You are a love!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

I am truly honored that this post was a source of illumination for dear Fay Vietmeier to write an absolutely amazing poem titled "Moments frozen in time". https://www.bebee.com/producer/@fay-vietmeier-pennsylvania/moments-frozen-in-time Fay isn't talking about freezing time, more about freezing moments in time. I leave it to your imagination then what moments are like to be frozen in time. But the poem is a splendid and is fertile with heartfelt lyrics and I strongly advise readers of this post to read Fay's poem as well. Enjoy

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#29
Thank you dear John Rylance. I hope to rise to the level of your expectations of me.

John Rylance

John Rylance

1 year ago #26

#28
Not just any pearl Kay, but a seed pearl that Ali plants and nurtures in his future posts. 

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#27
My dear well-spring spirit- your comment dear Fay Vietmeier explains why you merit this description of yours. I am flattered by your comment. More, I am thriving that you assisted in part in getting one of your famous Drafts to be published (please tag me when you do). I am inflated by the new name you endowed me with. Thank you and I know words shall not express my genuine gratitude to you. Amazingly, I am drafting a post for next week. It is the prob;e, or the paradox of plentiful supplies. I was thinking about you while preparing the draft because of the over-supply of post DRAFTS that you have at hands. All I hope is that you would find a tiny pearl in it.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #24

#26
Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee I am unceasingly inspirited by your ability to find the “pearl” in whatever you read Now let me share my dear Professor that I thought a wrote “inspired” by your ability … And then saw “inspirited” (to fill with spirit) … to me that was personal & profound I am with bee-affection adding another name for you … in addition to the “IDEA-windmill” … I now dub you: “Pearl-finder” “Finding pearls” is finding the “the heart of the matter” “The matter of the heart IS the heart of the matter” (about this I am writing) You profoundly stated: “Spirituality calls for softened hearts. A hardened heart can dull a person’s ability to feel with others and lower his/her perception and understanding” Which brought to mind what Jesus (on more than one accession) ask his disciples “Are so dull of spirit?” Your insight Ali on this matter is so rich: I’m responding with a post in honor of one of the “best of bees” … and a “brilliant bee” “The matter of the heart IS the heart of the matter” (soon to be published)

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#25
Dear Fay Vietmeier It is great that you summarized the great comment of Lisa Vanderburg. Yes, what you concluded is spot on. Children are the future and their healthy bringing up is a matter of saving the future.

Fay Vietmeier

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #22

Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee Oh my dear Professor~ Many thanks for highlighting the poignant post by Lisa Vanderburg My response there: It is hard to find the right words Lisa … so I’ll respond with some of your own… “They stood little chance in hell…those kids were Kudzu-laden trees” “I'm not damning the 'staff' … But, sure as shit, I'm damning the need” Henry David Thoreau: “It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.” Oh worms: Why do cast off your spawn...like spent sperm? Such behavior outrageous … umbrageous … in this I am firm! FINE: “worry about our planet … protect “ice-shelves & polar bears” BUT wake-up!!... “Discarded children” … about THIS we should care!!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#22
Thank you dear Mohammed Abdul Jawad and your conclusion conforms nicely with what I think. We need softness of the heart and toughness of the mind.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#21
Dear Lisa Vanderburg- maybe my name isn't "musical" enough not to be replaced. Again, you emphasize an important issue in that we need to fill the hearts of children with softness. It maybe too late to do it as they grow up. The sooner, the better it is.

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

1 year ago #19

Dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee you have put down an excellent elucidation. Let’s have vivid minds with right sensibility, soft hearts with spirituality and sympathies, and influencing personality with good character.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

1 year ago #18

#19
Well, the quote came from Ali's #14 comment, but he's generous enough to credit me instead of himself which is just typical of the heart of Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee ! BTW: That exclamation point is how far I have to move from his name because your's and other bees names will replace his otherwise. Only happens with his name..? But I agree with you Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador that hardened hearts are most often caused by misfortune; the worst being inflicted in childhood because those kids stand little chance of recovery. It's a known fact that childhood abuse/trauma etc. actually rewire the brain. So I agree with you: 'Tough minds are needed to overcome!'

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#19
There are many people who call advise on how to harden our children's hearts. I think is is not right because we need them to have hearts who feels with others and tough mind to buffer this weakness. I add my voice to yours dears Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Hardening hearts are due to misfortune in part. Tough minds are needed to overcome! I agree with Lisa Vanderburg, I pray for our children's spirituality. Even though we supposedly know more now than we did then, I feel children are still subjected to too much wretchedness.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#17
This is a serious issue, but the child in me is so satisfied with bees like yourself dear Lisa Vanderburg as she recovered all her posts.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

1 year ago #14

#16
That must drive you up the wall, Ali! If it does it with mine, I may have to rethink BB....

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#15
I hope that the bug hitting my posts will not affect yours dear Lisa Vanderburg

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

1 year ago #12

#13
#14 The dreaded bee-sting!!! You and Lada \ud83c\udfe1 Prkic both! 'I pray for the safety of our children' spirituality. This shall keep heir hearts soft, tender and filled with hope for the future.' This is the whole point of life; the tenderness of hearts. Bravo, dear friend!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
I forgot to mention that only an hour ago your first comment appeared with #4. Something is not right again Lisa Vanderburg

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#12
Dear Lisa Vanderburg- I admire your comment because you also cared to read the excellent linked articles mentioned in the post. I pray for the safety of our children' spirituality. This shall keep heir hearts soft, tender and filled with hope for the future. As for the mind what you wrote is spectacular "Being tough is not to be set in concrete. Rather, it's to allow for the essential wiggle-room to expand, examine, and...change its mind!:, No need to add to this valuable thought. As for the attachment with others it is saddening that we are becoming mostly virtually attached. As important as this is, it can't replace a warm social support from proximity. Just for fun the views on this post reached 400 and suddenly the views read 100+. Numbers lost their credibility. I thank you for the inspiration to write this post dear friend.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

1 year ago #9

I Had already posted this, but no number came up? Bless you sweet man, for the shout-out! I have not read the other articles, but I will! You've cracked the nut of the matter here, @Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! The mind (arguably) has more elasticity than the heart, which is privy to degrade, so I agree if something must be toughened, the mind can take it. Being tough is not to be set in concrete. Rather, it's to allow for the essential wiggle-room to expand, examine, and...change its mind! The link you included, 'What are the causes and solutions for a hardened heart?' is very telling; not of Christianity, but of FAITH. That's something you have in abundance, dear friend. Faith really can move mountains: the boulders that crush the vital organs of our souls. 'Deborah MacNamara, wrote “a heart can only be softened with the cultivation of safe and caring attachments with others”.' There's the nub of my angst for those lost and discarded children: Will time allow them to mend? It takes an age.... Fantabulous buzz!

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#9
Absolutely. You remind me of a recent post that I published recently on the strengths derived from our weak and vulnerable traits. I appreciate your concise comment as much as I appreciate your re-sharing of the post Pascal Derrien

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#8
I agree with your entire comment Kevin Baker. Your reasoning is sound.

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

1 year ago #6

Vulnerability is a strength

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#2
Dear Oswaldo Enrique Diaz Delgado we see eye to eye on this issue. You wrote that Does the soft heart conjugate with the strong mind? Of course "YES" from a good reference "Here the key to the question? Does the soft mind conjugate with a strong heart? Of course, "NO" because the heart equals actions from the soul that is proportional from what a human being refers to imitating soulmates?' I agree with you completely

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

#3
You notice the opposites working in harmony Debesh Choudhury. Tough minds and tough hearts will only lead to rigidity and fragility. If both mins and hearts are soft them things may go chaotic. One tempers the other and as you said this help us manage our lives in varying climates.

Lisa Vanderburg L

Lisa Vanderburg

1 year ago #3

Bless you sweet man, for the shout-out! I have not read the other articles, but I will! You've cracked the nut of the matter here, Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee! The mind (arguably) has more elasticity than the heart, which is privy to degrade, so I agree if something must be toughened, the mind can take it. Being tough is not to be set in concrete. Rather, it's to allow for the essential wiggle-room to expand, examine, and...change its mind! The link you included, 'What are the causes and solutions for a hardened heart?' is very telling; not of Christianity, but of FAITH. That's something you have in abundance, dear friend. Faith really can move mountains: the boulders that crush the vital organs of our souls. 'Deborah MacNamara, wrote “a heart can only be softened with the cultivation of safe and caring attachments with others”.' There's the nub of my angst for those lost and discarded children: Will time allow them to mend? It takes an age.... Fantabulous buzz!

Debesh Choudhury

Debesh Choudhury

1 year ago #2

Good thought Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee .. Do we need to learn to have a flexible mind and heart. When time comes, we may need to become tough or soft.

Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee

Lisa Vanderburg- you are highlighted in this post.

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